elmleaves I know what you mean. I find personality can make a man hugely more or less attractive, and it's hard to get that to come out when just talking behind a screen. I also really like certain accents, and you don't get that either.
In my case, I'll read profiles to see if there's anything we have in common (e.g. could we spend meaningful time together down the line or we would just bore each other because we have very different hobbies?) and I'll filter out people who have crap English. For me, typos are a real turn off, so it's another filter. I like my men to have a good grasp of the English language - that's much more of a big deal to me than how much they earn. I'd rather date a badly paid man who could write correctly than a banker who talks in txtspk and puts random apostrophes in words.
Movingon1611 Well done for surviving the first date! Yes, I think many of us are guilty for checking our phones when out with old friends, but on a first date? You're trying to impress. You actively shouldn't do that, it is rude.
Queenofthedrivensnow As much as I hate POF, it's where I ultimately get the most dates and I keep coming back to it. There are more shit people to filter out, but it's got the biggest pool to fish in.
YellowAardvark I feel a bit friendzoney with Mr Nice Mr Pen Pal. I think if you're genuinely feeling friend-zoned, time to get a new iron.
LanaDReye Bant There's a question about when you expect to sleep with someone on OKCupid. Every single profile I have seen has said by the 3rd date. I appreciate the honesty, but it has put me off every single guy I've seen on that site. When someone walks out on you mid-date on the third date because you refuse to go home with them and everyone on OKCupid expects third date sex, it kinda rules out everyone on that site for me...
I refuse to sleep with anyone until/unless I know them properly. With a complete stranger, I can't see that happening after only 3 dates. Part of it is wanting to know they won't shag and ghost, but practically, what happens if something goes wrong and you end up pregnant? I don't want my only way of getting in touch to be a phone number that might not even be a proper phone number... I want to know the man's full name, where he lives, where he works, who he really is... And 3 dates is too soon for all that info. Unless your starting point is he was an existing friend, then you already have that background and can relax a bit.