The Dating Thread 119 | Summer days, drifting away...

[pringlecat]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.

7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.

1. If it's not fun, stop.
2. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread.

LM I think really your approach is normal. I am now approaching dating in an almost clinical way. Trying to beat the process and being selfish. I know I need to switch this off and enjoy spending time with Mr Cook, but holding back and at the moment my view is harderned. So my posts are probably going to be from that viewpoint.

I hope you have a lovely date with Mr Surf soon

Hi
I popped on and off this thread a few times but read it lots .
Just wanted to share with you that I met a really nice chap on match !
It's been a worth persevering but the advice on here really helped .
I went on lots of dates over the last 3 years ( mostly Match some Tinder ) following the end of my 25 yr marriage .
Finally met a guy 4 yrs younger than me ( 42 ) with no dc and never married . No idea why but always assumed I be with an older chap or someone with children .
We met in March and he's just adorable .
Couldn't wish for more .
He acceots me as I am , embtaves flaws an all and treats me so very well .
We just hit it off on so many levels and I've never been with a man who makes me feel so good or so sexy !!
Anyway I turned him down several times because I'd had enough of OLD and he just persevered .
I still pushed him away because of all things he seemed too good to be real !!
And he still persevered .
It's still early days but so far feels great and he's asked me to meet his folks so really big step I guess but a good one x

Hi all! So glad I found his thread! Have just started OLD and finding it all a bit confusing! One date, when I got home got msg saying would love to see you again, then nothing then three days later, have decided you are not for me! OK then! Have had a few calls with someone else, not sure though how this would go. You all seem to have a lot of luck with messages, I must be doing something wrong. Anyone any ideas on what would be a good site? Any advice gratefully received!!

Tinkerbell that's awesome, glad it has worked out and you're having a good experience from it all.

Dravensangel you will soon adopt a thick skin for it all. You're the prize. The guy who changed his mind, that's his loss. Remember that. My golden rule that it took me ages to learn is never second guess people in OLD. It will drive you nuts if you do that.

Smeaton so glad your iron came back glowing hot again!!!

So... I have a second date with the Spaniard on Tuesday.

I've just had a first date with Mr PT.

He wasn't as cute as in the photos, but more attainably cute in real life, if you know what I mean. I think I probably have more in common with the Spaniard, but I still got on really well with Mr PT and he went in for a kiss at the end.

I was going to go for a London air kiss, but it was clear he wanted a proper kiss and I thought, what the hell. It was fun. I have had better first kisses, but it wasn't a bad first kiss and there is something very very attractive about him liking me enough to go in for a kiss so early on.

Some of his writing mildly upsets me (but he has a lower level of education, so it's not like he's deliberately abusing the English language) but I think there's something there.

Smart money is on the Spaniard. The Spaniard understands my lifestyle and respects me for it. I don't think Mr PT fully gets my lifestyle, other than realising that it's busy. I think we have different life goals.

But I really enjoyed kissing him.

I am now very very torn. And I feel awful about having second dates with both of them. And I have to have second dates with both of them, because I promised them both second dates and they've both paid everything on the first date so I feel the need to repay the favour by getting the second date.

I think they're both lovely men. And whilst they are different and they look different, I feel like they would both be compatible in terms of MBs.

I was expecting to have a terrible first date with Mr PT and for this to not be a situation. Now I have actual choices. Choices.

Could someone arrange for them to fight it out and I'll have whoever wins? Thank you.

So Mr Surf message to say how great his 'rest day' ha been , today was my day off and we could have easily met up but obviously he ended a 'rest day' , I may have replied with a sarcastic 'lucky you', he then sent me a few messages trying to arrange to meet up this week I got a bit pissy as he kept suggesting days when I'm working, I then sad ,I have next Sunday off but you arerobably busy resting?'.

Anyway, I went onto POF and realised I hadn't hidden my profile, I clicked on a profile at the top (someone who was online who looked hot), then realised he is only 25, his profile was very similar to mine and within a few minutes he had messaged me saying "that's the first time someone in their 30's has viewed my profile', we are now chatting and he seems nice but way too young for me.

Thank you Infosec21 that has given me some heart to carry on! Though increasingly growing tired of all the sex messages! Am now talking to two men, so we will see!

Lovemusic33 I made my peace with the Younger Man's age. It was him not being single that I had a problem with.

For me, sub-30 is difficult, because most men I know have had a crisis at 30 and it makes investing in sub-30 difficult, because you don't know if they'll go crazy once they hit that milestone.

Have fun though! Your 25-year-old probably has no rest days! Which right now is a selling point.

Sorry I've been out with Mr Local today (date 3) and realised I really fancy him. Plus he's so lovely and easy to talk to. There was kissing :)

Past relationships etc still hasn't come up in conversation on the dates so now I just have to message him tonight and be really honest and clear about my divorce situation.

Might put him off, might not. Watch this space.

Lol pringle I haven't had much luck with younger men. He looks older than 25, I think he might be lying about his age or he's had a hard life. We have now exchanged numbers. I have just realised that he's only 2 years older than my step son . But yes, I'm sure he doesn't need a rest day.

My god. I've just searched pof and for the first time ever I don't recognise any of the blokes on there!!! I nearly fell over.

In about a week I will have pachyderm myself up to join

Lovemusic33 As is often said to me by a very good friend from RL... Don't overthink!

I had first date with Mr Buff today. He's really lovely!! He went in for kiss as we said goodbye, and I squirmed for some unknown reason and it kind of ended up a lingering peck

I wish I'd gone along with the snog although I'm conscious I barely know him Hope he doesn't give up thinking I'm a prude. Though if he's willing to hang around he'll find I'm definitely not

Part of the trouble is I'm yet to meet Mr Nature, and I feel a bit disloyal, which is ridiculous , particularly as he's on WhatsApp all day and all night (which is fine; we haven't met yet) but he hasn't messaged me today.

I msgd Mr Buff saying it was lovely. Gah. The waiting.

So here's me, thinking that I'd have a difficult choice between two potentially wonderful, but v different men. When actually, both of them may well have removed themselves from the equation

anothernew I feel your pain. Mr PT and I were trying to arrange a second date then he didn't reply. Rationally, I know it's because he was having problems with his phone earlier and it's just crashed and he's busy with his friend who's visiting, but there is that small niggle. Always.

I hope Mr Buff replies soon so you can stop overanalysing the delay. How was the rest of the date? Did you have lots to chat about?

So you haven't had a first date with Mr Nature? Definitely ridiculous.

He he pringle! The fight sounds like good plan. Hope Mr PT sorts out a date. He sounds like fun! Keep your rational head on. He will get back to you

Mr Buff is soooo easy to talk to. Like an old friend! Talked about all sorts, easily. Nothing really tabboo. Very very nice man. Very very very nice man

Nope. Mr Nature is Friday. Hope we are both still talking by then. On paper, and the messages, he's so perfect it scares me. But the messaging was starting to feel a bit intense. So maybe he's just having a rest. I don't mind so much.

So here's me waiting. I'll be reading the thread constantly to distract myself.

LM the calculation is half your age +7. So I think you're ok

DD Good luck.

anothernew Ok, so lots to talk about and he's very nice? Was he attractive? Sounds like a full on snog is on the cards for next time. You have got to test that chemistry properly!

Date with Mr PT for Friday confirmed. I want to kiss him again and it's mutual.

Not sure what to do about the Spaniard. Like you, I feel a bit ridiculously disloyal. I am sure the Spaniard is not multi dating. Do I kiss him? I suppose I need to. Hopefully it rules him out. If I enjoy kissing him, it will only make things complicated...

anothernew I don't know where that rule came from, but I must admit, I follow it too!

Right I need a name for the 25 year old, I'm still chatting to him even though there's probably no chance of a date (he's too fit).

Mr Surf messaged back saying he will phone me during the week and will meet up a week Friday as originally planned.

Lovemusic33 Hmm, well Mr Buff is taken. We're not objectifying pretty men at all. Mr Fit? Mr Hottie? Mr Muscle? I wonder if our irons appreciate how much work we put into renaming them all!

See how you feel about Mr Surf when you speak. I still think the rest day is a bit weird - it might be something I would do, but I sure as hell wouldn't admit it to anyone. I'd pretend to be busy, rather than let someone know I was catching up on some down time!

He might still win you back over when you chat. And if not, there's the still as unnamed fit 25-year-old to entertain you.

The naming is v important. I just read your message as Mr Smurf and was at a loss as to what he could possibly be like

I think men are just different about how they organise their time. Not to be sexist but a lot of men seem to need some planned down time to do their washing etc, and take a break from their busy lives. It used to frustrate me a bit as I'll stay up well into the night, or get up especially super early, to get family/house stuff done, so that I can escape for a couple of hours of fun. Although the men I've ended up with might not be the best to judge by...

It's good to read about the potential irons on here.

Pringle I think kissing two on date two is ok as long as that is the point when you decide which one is then the one to focus on how will you know if you don't kiss both as they are both contenders?

Mr Cook has just left, we had lunch, cinema and time at his and things are...really normal, no red flags and spent 9 hours together and it flew by. Didn't dtd got very close as building up slowly. I'm feeling positive about OLD again but profiles now hidden so happy to leave it if this works .

LanaDReye I feel like although I've only had one date with both irons, after I have a second, they will both have an expectation of seeing me again so I'm actually going to have to have a conversation with at least one of them rather than going the traditional ghosting route. They're both very sweet guys and I think after a second date, I will need to know one way or another.

I have other messages on POF which I haven't read. I feel awful. I'm ignoring the email alerts and have not logged on. I have no idea what Mr Pen Pal is saying, but I cannot get into chatting with a third iron. Two is bad enough right now!

Things are sounding really good with Mr Cook. Keeping fingers crossed for you.