The Dating Thread 119 | Summer days, drifting away...

[pringlecat]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.

7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.

1. If it's not fun, stop.
2. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread.

Need to share this profile. Spelling is um creative but I kind of like the sentiment. He's right in a lot of it. Hope he meets someone lovely

I matched with a guy on Tinder who's first message to me was ... wait for it... ASS WIPE... just those words nothing else 😳

"Prefer not to say" really irritates me, especially in the context of cars. I only look for men who are in the same city as me. I live in London. There is no need for cars here and few people own them (unless they live in zone 9674). I'm not exactly going to look down on a man for not having a car if he also lives in London, so what's with the bloody secrecy? Just say yes or no! I don't care if it's a no, I do care if it's a "prefer not to say"!

Started talking to a guy online last Thursday. Had some time off work so met for coffee on Tuesday.
Met again on Saturday, where we had food and watch movies at mine.

Since then he's taken to telling me I should eat something healthy, and I don't need to go to the new dessert shop that's just opened in town...
So that's his number deleted then 🙃

Ass wipe - wtf!!! What a knob . Tinder has some weirdos on it, a guy on there was wearing black lace knickers and you could see his dick poking through the lace. Put me right off my lunch.

Another guy was looking for a lady who would "cum hard" and make him "cum so hard, he roars like a lion" . Words fail me.

Lol at 'roaring like a lion'

I would be pretty pissed off is someone commented on my choice of foods or my body shape.

So Mr Surf sent me another message asking when I was free to meet, he also sent me photos of him with his mate from the weekend. I replied telling him I am free wed or thu night, have I heard anything back? Nope. When he does finally reply I think I might tell him he's too late and I have now made plans to go out with friends . I expect he will reply at some point this morning, he hasn't been online yet. I want to meet up with him again as I want to see if there's anything there or if it's gone because he's annoyed me with the slow texting. Trouble is he seems totally different when I meet him, lovely, very chatty and romantic, nothing like he is whilst texting.

Cult - food police!! Just no!
I'm trying to be v picky about anyone who wants to change me or inflict their lifestyle on me

user1488575338 We might be in the same area - I've had the black lace knickers guy on tinder as well (there surely can't be 2 of them). Another of his photos was a mans hairless chest (presumably his) wearing prosthetic breasts

I'm going to do a reboot of tinder tonight I think see if it brings up some new faces - I've probably only swiped right twice since Friday!

JellyBean - Yes, its the same guy!!! Aren't we the lucky ones!! Apparently his wife isn't into it..... news for you Mr Lace.... neither are we! There is no one on Tinder who is sparking my interest - I'm finding it a bit grim to be honest.

Yes user tinder is grim atm. I've deleted it today and will re-activate it tonight , sometimes that does bring up different guys - maybe you should try it. We'll be fighting over the decent ones though...Haha

I'm only half heartedly engaging in it atm as I'm still messaging Mr California who I met in RL a few weeks ago. He's back off his holiday on Wednesday and we have tentative plans for Friday, but as we both have other stuff on so it will be just a very quick drink to see if we still like each other and it wasn't just the beer goggles when we met last time.

Going to go back on tinder, my iron thinks it's not going to work (but he's not really putting any effort in any more...) disappointed doesn't really cover it! I'm really picky so i thought I'd finally found someone I got along with :(

Jelly Only swiped right twice since Friday? I'm lucky if I swipe right once a fortnight!

Oh no shatners that's awful, I'd have well given up by now if traffic was that slow.

But it does put things in perspective and I'll stop complaining about my lack of prospects now

Jelly - I'm sure it wasn't the beer goggles and you will still like each other just as much........ not that I want all the local tinder men for myself or anything like that!! I so prefer meeting someone in real life - this OLD just feels so topsy turvy to me.

I'm staying positive and my next plan of attack is POF....... god help me.

Tinder is terrible here. I rarely find anyone I like the look of, I have had a few matches but no dates from them, I rarely go on there now.

I have had a couple messages from Mr Biker, he writes really long messages which is probably a good thing. He is a bit of a hippy x helsangel, scruffy looking but has a very nice body (works out). He seems very different which is what draws me to him, he rides horses which is great as I love to ride and loves the outdoors. I shall carry on chatting to him and see where it leads.

Mr Surf text back after I gave him the option of 2 evenings that I'm free, he can't do either due to work commitments, he then asked if I was free tonight, I felt like writing 'no, if I was free then I would have said that when you asked me when was I free?' But I just wrote back and told him I was busy. He doesn't seem to understand that I have kids and I can't just go out whenever he is free, so it doesn't look like I will be seeing him this week (might see Mr Biker instead).

Love I've never swiped that many but the few matches I've had have been fake accounts to try and get me to other websites or apps. Every match.

I have heard a lot of men say that shatner, I have never had anyone try and direct me to other web sites, just lots of weirdos on there send me messages asking me if I'm a Dom or a Sub , I just get the impression that it's more of a hook up site but then others say they have met nice people on there.

Yeah there are a fair few scammers - but usually you can tell because they're almost always semi-naked, or hot young 20 somethings, who somehow look American.

Those who look too good to be true always are..

Bant They've obviously got wiser. These were apparently "normal" women in their late 30s and early 40s. No half nakedness involved.

Sorry to hear your news JonSnows .

I'm single as of this evening too. Last few days I have been talking with Mr Cook about issues and it's turned out that it's part of a bigger stressful picture. His ex doesn’t want a divorce, wants him to have kids all weekends and wants him to pay her bills. When we got together he said everything was resolved now in truth he's been hiding that nothing is resolved. I wouldn't be happy dating someone in that position with nothing resolved so really not happy to feel duped into being a girlfriend mixed up in this situation and I've ended it. I'm not devastated, it was only a month, just disappointed. He says he is gutted, but maybe he will be more honest next time!

Sorry about that lana

I called things off with my ex last year because of people her unresolved issues with her ex - among other things but that was a major thing. And that was after a year and a half. I wish I'd called things off far, far earlier, as it was heartbreaking in the end.

So I'm sorry but you did the right thing to avoid such difficult down the line.

Deep breath, take a break if you need to, then chin up and onwards

Thanks Bant he is a nice person in general and if he would have met my DCs I think he would have got on well with them. You're right, things would only have become worse if I had ignored the potential problems. It's tough though as he had such good potential at the start when I didn't know the full story . I think I'll look online but not start writing until I feel more enthusiastic!

JellyBean31 user1488575338 I hope you're in the same area or there's more than one Mr Lace! Grim!

LanaDReye Really sorry to hear that - from your posts, I know you weren't letting your guard fully down in case something came out of the woodwork and it's horrible being proved right in situations like these. I agree that he should have been more honest, but I think it would have been hard to admit all that up front and then he probably got tangled up in his feelings for you. So it's really more circumstance that is to blame here than you having bad judgement - which I would take away as a positive.

You managed to find someone you could click with, you were careful about how much you invested - Mr Cook sounds like the last one before the Real Deal. Keeping my fingers crossed for you that once you've taken a bit of time to deal with the disappointment you do meet someone special who has circumstances that suit.

Thanks Pringle . I did wonder if I was missing something. It has made me aware that it is better to ask very specific questions early on. Mr Cook had referred to being in a social group of divorced dads and completely free. I now know that I have to ask more direct questions, like "what stage are you in?"

I'll take this as a learning experience, but realise that I am getting maybe too thick a skin in that I expect things to go wrong with OLD most of the time!

I would date a man that wasn't divorced btw, but not one that has his actions dictated by an ex.