The Dating Thread 119 | Summer days, drifting away...

[pringlecat]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.

7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.

1. If it's not fun, stop.
2. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread.

@earthangel thank you, I was a bit surprised to say the least! He said he would call me tonight, so maybe date number 3! I have the rose tinted specs off now though thanks to everyone's sage advice! Best of luck with Mr Smiley!

@divorce yes funny that isn't it, I thought Ibwas being old fashioned but all 4 dates I have had have not done that, admittedly have been first dates, one text to say he was home safe but didn't ask about me! I would kind of expect it after 6 though! Have you text him after a date? I did this with Mr IT, he did text back! I do feel that we are worth that at least!

I'm reading with interest ask your experiences. I briefly tried OLD before but realised I've been very naive about it. Hoping to be a bit more alert this time.
What sites are you all using?

DD and Draven I agree with others that it's not strange to expect more messages after dates. The previous man I dated hardly text me and so I decided to regularly text him. I felt bit better as he responded every time, but it also left me feeling sad and odd. It was coming up to the two months stage when I asked him how he felt about me and he said he had very few emotional attachments in his life. He liked being with me when together, but wasn't bothered when apart. It's an eye-opener that some people have less of a desire, need or ability to 'connect'.

This may not be the same with your irons, but just another perspective. I ended things as it didn't feel right for me. Mr Cook messages regularly so it's not the same with everyone. It's worth talking about because it matters to you and he may put more effort in if he knows about it or not but you'll still have an answer .

EarthA good luck with Mr Smiley he sounds friendly at least

Anothernew happy for you that sounds ideal.

Draven good luck with the next date. Maybe arrange something where he can't suggest you will DTD?

FindingJ I would say try free sites like POF and OkCupid as lots of choice.

Bant's previous suggestion before of imagining you are in a pub with lots of potentials is good. You wouldn't trust what a stranger said to your face so trust nothing in messages unless you have proof. Don't reply to men if you don't like their profile. Write over several days to ones that you like and check family situation, where they work, what they like to do along the way. You may be able to cyberstalk check these facts online so know they are likely to be genuine. Meet very briefly in a well lit place. Still do not trust unless you have proof!

Thank you Lana. I'm going to sign up to both in the morning.

FindingJ Pof, Tinder and bumble seem to be the busiest ones for me. Give it a whirl and line up some dates.

Thanks LanaDR He just confirmed its on so 1hr 20 mins till I meet Mr Smiley in the flesh. I've bought my high heels in so I hope he is worth it. He's 6ft 4 so figured if I can't wear them tonight when can I.

Hope the call with Mr Motor goes well dravensangel

EarthA enjoy the heels and being with a tall, hopefully sexy, funny, nice and smartlovely date!

Earth how did the date go? Was he as smiley in real life?

I'm on date two with mr good cop today. He's coming to my city for the day. I'm looking forward to it a lot especially when he messaged first thing this morning to say he was giddy and excited. Now what to wear in this muggy heat.....

Well i think the date went pretty well. He was super fit!!! Tall, great smile and lovely face, dressed great. Only bad thing was he had to leave at 9pm to go meet a candidate after his interview (he's a headhunter) so it felt like we couldn't fully relax as had to be aware of the time. He said he would like to take me to dinner sometime on the date so we will see if that materialises. He walked me out of the bar and we had a proper full on snogging session. I didn't really see it coming so took me by surprise but I could have kissed him all night......... I'm wary though as he is very good looking and those ones are normally trouble so I think i need to play it cool. Im away on holiday from Saturday so that rules out a second date next week. Hopefully it doesn't go cold. He messaged me last night around 11pm saying So lovely to meet you sweet dreams x. Fingers crossed we get date 2 lined up.

Have 3rd date with Mr Blue Eyes tonight who im now not sure if there is as much chemistry there. I fancy him but not sure I fancy him as much as Mr Smiley!! Damn you Mr Smiley!!

Minop good luck with Mr Cop today, such a cute message he sent you, nice to know he is into you.

dravensangel how did the call go with Mr Motor? 3rd date set?

@earthangel so glad to hear your Mr Smiley date went so well! That's excellent. Good luck with Mr Blue Eyes. Chemistry is a difficult thing, I suppose I always thought it was either there or it wasn't, but maybe it can be something that grows! No call from Me Motor last night, when I read his message back though he did say I'll call not specifically when, so we'll see. @Lana love the idea of suggesting a date where DTD is not possible, that makes a lot of sense, as you always do, so IF he does call I will do that!

For those who have dates this weekend, really hope they go well for you all and look forward to the updates!

Also @minop, Good luck with Mr Good Cop tonight

Good luck to everyone dating this weekend! I have a date with Mr Burger tonight. I've had four hours sleep and feel like crap. Really don't want to go as I just want to be dating Mr Local but here's to keeping my options open and not OI in just him.

Good to hear a lot of successes on here. Went on first date at weekend in ten months but no spark. Lovely guy but not for me. Back to tinder lol.

Can I just ask - my ex has just started seeing someone and less than two weeks later it's official on Facebook and she's tagging him in posts about date night!!! is this a bit sad someone in their mid 40's and screams of desperation lol.

With you on that one Flowergirl - its cringe!!!

Thanks User - kind of feel it's being put there to get at someone lol.

It sounds like it!! 2 weeks is no time to know whether its going to turn into a relationship or not. Saying that I hate FB!

Yeah I hate it for that reason as well (and he said he did as well). Who puts "date night with the hot one" and tags a bloke in after such a short time 😂😂

Went on another 1st date last night, had been texting for a couple of weeks and was supposed to meet last week but i had to cancel. I actually fancied him, we had a good date.. no akward silences ect ect.. had a cheeky kiss at the end. He messaged me saying he had a nice time and thanked me, i said id also had a nice time. And hardly anything since. He would message a fair bit before. Maybe he just isnt into me. Im playing it cool

Just got back from a few days away, will be sitting down and catching up on what's been happening.

I have been in contact with Mr Surf whilst I was away (just a few messages a day), I don't think he's a big texter, hopefully now I'm home we can take on the phone, he's already asking when I'm free to meet up but it's going to be tricky now the kids are on half term, I don't know if/when it would be appropriate for him to meet the dc's and I am petrified that meeting them will scare him off (as both my dc's have special needs).

Vodka I hope you hear something from your date, I think sometimes when you have been talking for a while before a date it feels a bit tricky to know what to say once you have actually met, it might not mean that he's not into you, I would just sit back and wait.

Hi all,
I've registered on Tinder and started talking to a few guys. One guy that particularly caught my attention is 7 years older than me (I am 30). My friends say he might be a bit too old-in terms of what he wants and what I want at this particular life stage. Do you think its a big age gap? Also for how long do you usual text before going on a date? Thanks in advance!

Well my first tinder experience has gone a bit flat. We have been texting but it's become quite boring to be honest - more like text buddies. I'm not even sure I want to meet up with him now as I've lost interest. How can I avoid this happening again? Maybe my heart just isn't in it.

User I think it happens a lot, I have never met anyone on Tinder, have chatted to a few people but it's got a bit boring so I disappear.

I haven't heard from Mr Surf since yesterday morning despite him being online. I'm trying not to over think things. I sent him a message this morning saying 'hope you have a good weekend' but he hasn't read it even though he has been on whatsapp. I have tried so hard not to over invest and to be prepared for him to vanish but I just find rejection really hard . I'm questioning everything, wondering if he is actually married as he's always busy at the weekends with his so called friends and rarely messages me even though I can see he's online. I'm not sure if he's being secretive about things, he doesn't really tell me much about anything. I'm not going to text again, will just wait and see if he messages me later. If he vanishes then that will be the end of OLD for me for a while.

Well Mr Burger was a dead loss. Really inappropriate in public and really laddish and awful.

Messaged Mr Local on my way home as I couldn't stop thinking about him. Got a very meh response so bit the bullet, unmatched him on Bumble and deleted his number from my phone. He's just not that into me and I think I need to accept that now. He asked when I was free earlier in the week and I offered Wednesday and the weekend but he didn't make any plans for this weekend then or last night. Ouch.

Joined OKC so fingers crossed someone lovely will pop up on there!