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Original poster

The Dating Thread 119 | Summer days, drifting away...

999 replies

pringlecat · 27/06/2017 08:51

Dating thread rules:

  1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
  2. Develop a thick skin.
  3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
  4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
  5. Trust your gut instinct.
  6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
  1. If it's not fun, stop.
  2. Loo update is mandatory.
10. No dating the thread.
OP posts:
LanaDReye · 11/07/2017 13:59

Magnum it's good to hear a good success story. Since end of LTR I've not got past 3 months with relationships, often not past date 1 (on OLD for 11mths).

How long were you on OLD when you found someone whom you really liked?

MagnumPieEye · 11/07/2017 14:11

Lana - he was my first match on Tinder. I only dated him! I have thought that maybe I should have dated more people but I didn't want to and neither did he. He'd been OLD for over two years. It almost seems too good to be true so I continue to second-guess myself and wonder what he sees in me.

Lovemusic33 · 11/07/2017 14:14

I have seen a few people I recognise on POF, a few have messaged just to say 'hi' and to ask how I'm finding POF, it doesn't really bother me but would be good if you could block before they find you.

My date for Sunday is off (Mr Fish), he just messaged me to say he won't be talking to me anymore as he has got back with his ex, at least he was honest, he could have just vanished I guess?

Mr Surf trying to get me to meet him earlier, he seems a bit over keen. I don't have any more irons at the moment Sad.

LanaDReye · 11/07/2017 14:45

Magnum it sounds good as you haven't had the weird and unusual dates, but straight into something positive!

LM I thought you were keen on Mr Surf?

Lovemusic33 · 11/07/2017 15:52

Lana I have my doubts about Mr Surf so not getting too excited. I'm still meeting him Friday but can't fit in a date before.

Original poster
pringlecat · 11/07/2017 16:17

Lovemusic33 Ah. I had one like that before - he was keen to meet then said actually, he'd decided he wanted to make a go of things with another girl, which I thought was fair enough.

MagnumPieEye Were you looking for a relationship or Tinder or something more casual? I've heard of people who have found relationships through Tinder, but I still view it as a hook up app. Would be interesting to hear another perspective.

anothernew Ooh. Have fun with Mr Bike! Grin

Allthembuckets Yeah, I'm the same. I do a lot of things which are for me, rather than to meet people (although I do inevitably end up meeting new people).

Lovemusic33 I've never met anyone at the gym. And I think I'd be freaked out if anyone spoke to me at the gym. I'm in my little zone, doing my thing, trying not to be intimidated.

LanaDReye earthangel797 I haven't arranged to see Mr PT again. Or the Spaniard. With Mr PT, he knew we both had some free time on Sunday morning and didn't push it, presumably because it would have been an opportunity to meet up and chat rather than do anything more physical.

I have completely lost interest in him. Actually, in all my irons. And of course he's online right now - maybe he's lost interest in me too.

Ugh.

It was so promising, but now I'm bored of it all. Here comes Rule 8.

I need some new irons...

OP posts:
Lovemusic33 · 11/07/2017 16:21

Yes pringle the gyms a good place for eye candy but no ones brace enough to talk to each other as everyone's in their zone, I do like going to look at all the hot men though Grin.

fedupandnogin · 11/07/2017 16:33

@pringlecat I met my new man on Tinder. We are five weeks in. Neither of us were looking for hook ups and he seems quite normal so far. I made it clear in my profile that I was looking for a relationship.

Original poster
pringlecat · 11/07/2017 16:36

Just had a look on POF again. Completely uninspired...

OP posts:
Original poster
pringlecat · 11/07/2017 16:36

fedupandnogin That's promising. Tinder I haven't tried yet...

OP posts:
DivorceDating · 11/07/2017 16:44

My friend had a year long relationship from Tinder @pringlecat

earthangel797 · 11/07/2017 17:13

LanaDR so you definitely think Mr PT just wants something physical and nothing more? Sounds like your interest has waned which happens. I'm the same, had 2 dates with Mr Soul last week and came away from the last one feeling disappointed and wanting to meet someone I felt really excited about which made me think he isn't right for me. He didn't get my humour and I'm starting to realise if someone doesn't get your humour they don't really get you.

I'm completely uninspired byPOF too at the moment, its just the same old faces cropping up. I reckon you should give Tinder a go, I was seeing someone a few years ago from Tinder for 6 months, not everyone is just looking for hook ups just make it clear from your profile that you are looking for something more serious and hopefully that will deter all the chancers.

Lovemusic Do you think because its been so drawn out with Mr Surf you've lost interest? I wonder if he can pull it back with Friday's date.

MagnumPieEye · 11/07/2017 17:15

@pringlecat I wasn't really looking for anything in particular. I'd just recently separated from my ex and was in the first flush of freedom. A few dates with a couple of people would've been fine with me.

I didn't fill out my profile and only had one photo up. I matched with a few people the first night but chatted to now-boyfriend most and we just hit it off. We had our first date the following week and didn't chat in between so I really knew very little about him. Luckily, it turns out he's one of the most decent, funny and kind people I've ever met as well as being super-attractive to me. Even if it doesn't work out between us (which I hope it will because he's great) I'm really glad I met him.

Also, a friend of mine signed up to Tinder recently and had some nice dates with some lovely men but hasn't wanted to pursue any of them for her own reasons. I think one of her problems is she texts and calls a lot before the first date and builds things up too much.

On the other hand, my boyfriend reckons one of his friends is addicted to the hook-ups on Tinder and it's kind of sad.

There are plenty of normal people on Tinder looking for relationships, particularly in the over-35 age group. I know of two couples that met on Tinder and are now engaged. It's so much better than Match which I was also on. It's more fun and you know that if you match with someone you fancy each other. Never tried POF or OKC.

Lovemusic33 · 11/07/2017 17:20

earth your probably right, it's been so drawn out and I'm not very good at taking things very very slow, we shall see how it goes Friday. I seem to be getting mixed messages from him, he doesn't text much, doesn't give much away but it's then really keen. He's meant to be phoning me tonight to arrange Friday.

LanaDReye · 11/07/2017 17:24

EarthA it's Pringle who is considering dating Mr PT. I love the idea of a PT, but would be out of my league Grin

Magnum Tinder sounds better than I had heard. If it doesn't continue with Mr Cook I'll give it a go.

Original poster
pringlecat · 11/07/2017 17:24

earthangel797 Yeah, I think Mr PT is only after something physical. I'm not sure he's capable of something more. He's just so very dumb. Sweet, but dumb.

I half-wonder if I should see the Spaniard again. He's really funny. But then I think about his height and I realise I'm never going to be attracted to him. You don't realise height matters to you until you try dating someone who's only an inch taller...

Might take a break from it until after my holiday, when I'm feeling recharged. And try Tinder.

I had another message on POF today from someone who sounded nice and was tall enough, but I kept looking at his face thinking, I'll never find you sexy. I just want someone who I like as a human and as a piece of eye candy. Apparently the combination is impossible to find...

OP posts:
LanaDReye · 11/07/2017 17:40

Pringle I'm very short but still like a few inches idealy 4 inch or more in height difference. It doesn't 'feel' fair, but it's the truth.

Does The Spaniard have a taller brother? 😂

Original poster
pringlecat · 11/07/2017 17:53

LanaDReye He does have a brother in the UK, but he doesn't live anywhere near London...! Wink

Dating is hard...

OP posts:
fedupandnogin · 11/07/2017 18:15

Re Tinder I did a lot of swiping left and hardly any swiping right. Fortunately he swiped right for me too and we were a match!

anothernew · 11/07/2017 18:43

Can I have some perspective here please. If contact goes from long involved several texts through the day, to just evenings, then nothing for 3 days, then a nice msg as if nothing's changed/happened... what would you think?

Queenofthedrivensnow · 11/07/2017 20:17

Next question.....which dating apps are free?

LanaDReye · 11/07/2017 20:27

Another I would move on if that were me. It doesn't show any real consistent interest in you. Have you met in person?

Queenofthedrivensnow · 11/07/2017 20:36

Agree with Lana

anothernew · 11/07/2017 20:41

Thank you Lana & Queen.

We have met, and were due to meet again but I assumed it was off. I'm looking for something straightforward with no games or confusion so this doesn't bode well. Just wanted to check I wasn't being too strict with my new boundaries Grin

anothernew · 11/07/2017 20:53

Queen Bumble, Tinder, POF, OK Cupid, Happn are all free. There may be others...