The Dating Thread 119 | Summer days, drifting away...

[pringlecat]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.

7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.

1. If it's not fun, stop.
2. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread.

Bant Sorry to hear about your date. Did you hear back from her in the end?

Lovemusic33 That sounds so odd with Mr Surf. Better to move on from him I think.

pringlecat Your 'nice but dim' comment made me laugh! Being able to have a decent conversation is so important. I guess not every man has to be long term material but in my (limited) experience flings aren't particularly fulfilling even if the sex is good! Will you meet him again?

anothernew I have the same problem re: texting but I don't think mine is online all day. I do think if someone is interested they make the effort especially if you can see him on whatsapp all day

I saw Mr Tall again on Friday night. He asked me out for a drink and seemed very persistent. The story is we met through a mutual friend a few months ago but have done quite a few things alone. We talk, laugh and have a good time. We hug when we meet, he suggests other things we can do in the future, asks me loads of questions, makes an effort to get to know me, walks me home and there have been a few times where we have caught each other's eyes across the room and just stare at each other But he never comments on my appearance and has never made a move on me! To make things even more confusing the mutual friend says he's naturally friendly & flirty with everyone . It seems to be genuine chemistry and I want to kiss him but maybe I'm getting the vibes wrong? The other thing is I've become really shy around him which is probably confusing him too, if he were interested. He also takes forever a whole day to reply to messages but I know he doesn't go online/check his phone much. I'm not even sure we are compatible but still attracted to him & confused!

anothernew I think we all revert to teenagers when dating is concerned!

Well, my night out in town went well. Me & my friend were talking to 2 guys, she got really drunk and I had to put her in a taxi and I stayed out with Mr california (he's going there on holiday) for another 3 hours and we've been texting all day today!

I thought that I should I report back in after my date on Friday night. It went incredibly well considering it was my first one line date. He is 4 years younger get seems very mature for his age. We got on very well and I felt instant chemistry. BUT his text messages are overly descriptive. He literally tells me what his plans are throughout the day, he is going to the gym in the morning followed by cleaning his house and then out with friends. A lot of his messages just tell me boring mundane stuff. His job is a project manager so I get he has to be organised, but he talks to me on text message so seriously. I'm rapidly going off him which seems such a massive shame as we got in person so well. Am I being too quick to judge and give it another chance?

I just think this early on communication between dates should be fun and flirty.

Ha ha Cherry sounds like we might need to swap

Sorry I'm new to this thread so need to catch up with other peoples stories! Why what happened to you?

Would that annoy you? A man telling you everything?!

If I liked the man, I'd love it! But my track record isn't great, so it may not be the correct response! And it really does illustrate how different we all are, doesn't it

That's the thing I 'did' like him when I met him but his bizarre descriptive texts leave me no mystery at all. I'm not interested in when he plans to clean his house and do the food shopping (yes he told me that as well).

does it seem like he's not putting the effort in because he's already 'won' you cherry, so he's jumping several steps ahead to mundanity? Or just that he's a boring person?

As anothernew said, its horses for courses. Some like that level of detail, some get frustrated if it's not there, even.

I had date two tonight, with the one who was very slow to reply to messages. Dinner, a walk, and a kiss. She's growing on me. Quite a lot

Laura it sounds like we are in the same position - it's harder imo when you know someone in rl because you know they like you as a person but it's hard to know if it's something extra. The other thing I'm grappling with is whether or not it's worth saying anything as don't want to risk one of my closest friendships as well.

I'd be interested in hearing from the men on the board too on their views on very close male female friendships and what the signals would be if you wanted more, ie spending time alone, emotional intimacy etc?

He definitely hasn't won me, we've only been on one date and all that's happened is a little kiss on the cheek to greet each other when we first met. I'm not instigating any conversation outside of the date. This is him from what I can see...

He definitely hasn't won me, we've only been on one date and all that's happened is a little kiss on the cheek to greet each other when we first met. I'm not instigating any conversation outside of the date. This is him from what I can see...

Hi all. Well I think iI'm giving up on Mr Local. It's gone from messaging every day to hardly hearing from him and it feeling like a game I don't know the rules to. No date arranged now (we've been on 4 so far). He seems less keen after each date which is a shame as I'm more keen now. But I don't feel like the prize now, I feel like I'm confused and waiting to hear from him or chasing him. Need to drop it I think!

I have a new iron but he's very young 🙈 let's call him Mr Cheeky. Not sure what I'm thinking but he's gorgeous, super flirty and attentive. He's trying to meet up for a coffee one day this week with me but I'm worried I'm too old for him and look a bit worn 😂 might just go for it, life's not a rehearsal is it!

Divorce How long have you know him? I've learnt to follow my gut, I ignored it for so long previously and ended up getting up the longer it went on. Remember you're the prize here. Meet up with the other guy x

About 6 weeks @flowergirl5 we were talking all night every night for about 3 weeks then met up once a week but after the last two dates he hardly messages and didn't say goodnight or anything when we got home. Did kiss me and hold my hand last Thursday but then I've not really heard from him over the weekend. He messaged me drunk really late on Friday then replied when I messaged him on Saturday but it all feels sporadic and forced now. I feel like he should be more keen now and messaging me daily if we actually thought it was going to turn into something real. He's been on WhatsApp all of yesterday and today but not contacted me. I'm guessing he's talking to someone else still or someone new. Ouch.

Tempted to delete and block him off the OLD and my phone as it seems crazy to have a conversation about it not going anywhere but I don't want to keep getting upset when I see his old messages or get dragged back into something and nothing if he decides to message me again.

Broke all the damn rules here and got too involved too soon didn't I? I'm gutted to be honest.

Getting over invested too quickly is something we all do. Sorry you're feeling down.

I'm feeling fed up. Have booked myself a few days away abroad. Just me. The more I think about it, the more I feel like I'm settling.

I'm also getting irritated by Mr PT's inability to see me as a person. I like that he finds me physically attractive, but he is not showing much interest in getting to understand what makes me tick emotionally. Which is actually turning out to be a big turn off.

Might go fishing again...

Definitely agree with over investing. It happens too easily! That's why I thought I should have more than one iron as I'm very excitable

So I think my instinct was right re the night time texting man. We've got a date booked weds, which he knows I have a babysitter booked. But no venue/time. Our last contact was a few texts on sat eve (I was out with friends) and the last one he didn't reply. And nothing since. So I think he's just not that into me. And that's ok. Either way, It feels like he's crossed one of my shiny new boundaries. I may be cancelling the babysitter tomorrow morning I think.

Oh! And I had a v quiet day yesterday, so I went fishing! And found Mr Bike, who actually speaks on the phone!! I'm v excited

My friend was reminiscing about her dating days. She said when she met the love of her life it was really odd as he just didn't do any of the game playing. It was relaxed and easy. But she almost had to stop herself questioning what was wrong with him.

Pringle don't settle. You are the prize! Get fishing!

Divorce confusion is a red flag to me. I think you should definitely give the younger one a chance. You just never know; you might be his dream girl!

I had a message from an iron this weekend telling me he was just "tucking into lunch at the Harvester!" (with exclamation mark)

call me shallow but that put me right off him

Mr Surf is still messaging me and still wants to meet up Friday, I'm pretty sure that he wants MB, he's calling me tomorrow to arrange somewhere to meet nearer my house. Am I wrong in wanting to go ahead? mainly because I haven't had MB for ages, I find him physically atractive but he's a bit of a twat and I wouldn't want a long term relationship with him (going by what I have seen so far). Oh and he messaged me earlier asking what I was doing today so I sarcastically wrote back saying 'I'm having a rest day' .

Pretty sure M meetings no up with Mr fish on Sunday too, I feel a bit wrong meet No up with someone else after possibly DTD with Mr Surf but it's ok to keep my options open?

Coffee plans with My Cheeky on Friday now :) lets see if I actually happens.

And another offer of a drink from an old iron Mr Massage (don't ask) on POF. I'm going to try and set that up too as he seems really nice.

Well done Pringlecat for booking some time out alone. I go away a lot on my own and find sometimes its just nice to be selfish and do all the things I love to do and not have to think about anyone else for a while. I think I would feel the same about Mr PT, its great that he fancies you but yes you want him to want to get to know you too on a deeper level. Have you arranged to see him again?

anothernew i hate playing that guessing game of are we still on for meeting or not. I've had it both ways where hardly no contact before and they message that morning confirming its on or radio silence and its all off so its hard to tell. Maybe you're better off suited to Mr Bike anyway? Have you talked about meeting up yet?

I had 4 1st dates last week and decided 3 of them are not for me at all. I'm seeing Mr Blue eyes for a second date on Thursday and we've spoken on the phone a bit. He seems really nice but he keeps telling me how much he can't wait to meet someone and settle down and he's a real homebody and seems really excited about seeing me and has come off OLD already. Maybe you'll all think i'm crazy but i get a bit freaked out when someone is so keen so early on and I'm not sure. I take a while to get to know someone. Guess I need to not overthink it and see how Thursday goes.