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Original poster

The Dating Thread 119 | Summer days, drifting away...

999 replies

pringlecat · 27/06/2017 08:51

Dating thread rules:

  1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
  2. Develop a thick skin.
  3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
  4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
  5. Trust your gut instinct.
  6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
  1. If it's not fun, stop.
  2. Loo update is mandatory.
10. No dating the thread.
OP posts:
Lovemusic33 · 07/07/2017 15:47

At least you have a date set jonsnow ,my date with Mr Surf isn't until next Friday but I don't think I will make it that far, I have a feeling he may have sent me a message earlier that was meant for someone else but I'm not sure, I sent a reply and so far he hasn't answered.

Have had a few more messages on POF but from the usual 'types I'm not interested in', it annoys me that no one reads my profile and then they message when we are total opposites or they are piss heads, smokers and people that like to sit in front of the tv all evening.

Lovemusic33 · 07/07/2017 15:58

rK24 I have children but I would rather date someone without children or someone with older children, it's for many reasons, in my last relationship he had 2 children and there was still ongoing issues with access and his ex, it was a nightmare, then I had the hassle of introducing his 2 not very well behaved children to mine and it was a nightmare, one of my children got hit by one of his, it was a nightmare so I would prefer someone without young kids, no ties to their ex and no baggage. I may be waiting forever but that's ok.

Smeaton · 07/07/2017 16:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Lovemusic33 · 07/07/2017 16:20

Smeaton I may be over emphasising Grin

Smeaton · 07/07/2017 16:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

rK24 · 07/07/2017 17:12

Love - I know but i have a 7 year old son, and i don't blame men who avoid me due to this. I would do the same in their shoes and i don't think it's fair that women with children take umbrage if a man decided to wait for someone child free.

seasidesally · 07/07/2017 17:43

what would people say in their opinion was an exceptable age of a child to date their parent,just curious,thanks

Smeaton · 07/07/2017 17:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

seasidesally · 07/07/2017 17:57

yes i meant acceptable to the individual

thats why i said in their opinion

LanaDReye · 07/07/2017 18:03

Seaside I prefer to date men with older DCs or similar age to mine, so would prefer older than 7. It's just about the activities that you can take DCs to. Mr Cook has 2 older teenagers and is fine that mine are younger I'm early 40s so not surprising I still have a 7 yr old .

What gap are you looking at?

Cherryblossom200 · 07/07/2017 18:07

Well I have a 2 and a 1/2 year old and I get a LOT of attention online, I'm not trying to sound big headed but having a toddler doesn't seem to bother as many men as I initially thought. Whether or not they just want a shag who knows, but my profile I would hope suggests that I'm looking for a relationship and not a one night thing. I think it depends on the person.

I would have no issue dating a man with children, in fact I would find it easier. But if he had lots of kids with lots of different women then definitley not.

bluetunic · 07/07/2017 18:41

I wasn't saying I had anything against men who didn't want to date me because I had children. Just that I prefer men who do not have children themselves Grin

minop · 07/07/2017 21:10

Tonight's date lasted 1 hour and 10 minutes 😂 He was really over barring and quite aggressive in his mannerisms. He sat very close to me and was really over baring. As we ordered food conversation just dried up. It was awkward.
He ate like an animal, it was horrid!
He finished his food really quick, I was still eating and he told me off for not talking much. Even shouted at me for looking at him at one point.
Before I'd even finished he told me he was bored. I said your welcome to leave so off he went.
Worst date so far! 😂 what a week!!! 1st druggie, then no show, then mr blocked me 5 minutes after asking me out and now this animal! Next week will be better

Lovemusic33 · 07/07/2017 21:27

Minop maybe you need to be a bit more picky on who you go on dates with? Your date sounds awful, I don't know what I would have done in your situation, sounds like you dealt with it much better than I would.

The kid thing, I would date someone with kids older than mine ( 11 and 13 ) but probably no younger, my kids both have disabilities and they just struggle with younger children. I would prefer someone with out kids but I'm finding it hard to find someone that is understanding enough, men without kids don't seem to understand that I need to be back for school runs or that I need to arrange a baby sitter etc..

Bant · 07/07/2017 21:53

Bloody hell minop that's ridiculously bad.

What kind of interaction had you had with him before meeting? Was he a good conversationalist? Did you chat on the phone? There are always shitty people out there, it's easy enough to meet those - but how did you decide to meet up with this one?

minop · 07/07/2017 22:04

We had spoke on the phone a few times and had good conversations and laughed quite a bit, we'd talked a few months ago but not took it any further. This time swapped numbers and when on the phone set up the date. Honestly I think he thought because we had got on on the phone that gave him the green light to skip a few getting to know you steps and he could just stick it on me! We hadn't talked dirty or anything remotely like that so bolt from the blue! It was like someone completely different showed up

LanaDReye · 07/07/2017 22:51

Minop I have to ask...will there be a date 2? joke! expect you have blocked in every way going and now trying to erase from your memory? .

I looked back at my last iron's new dating profile when we split up and thought, wow what a lot of bullshit that isn't you. It is possible to be hoodwinked into thinking someone is fine only to find out that they have major issues.

minop · 07/07/2017 23:11

He was blocked before he'd even pulled his car out the car park! The joys 😂

LanaDReye · 07/07/2017 23:24

Minop I think OLD should have a "rate your date" function for those whom can prove that they are regular people. Nothing fancy, but if I saw on a profile, under the area 'eating habits', "like an animal" I would avoid. 😂

We could save a lot of time with feedback from previous daters?

coffeeandchocolate4 · 07/07/2017 23:26

That is utterly bizarre behaviour Minop.

I took the plunge and asked Mr Green for a third date, he's away this weekend but we've arranged for Thursday.

On another note, I have a young baby and I'm separated/divorcing. Baby was very much planned and we were together 10 years but post birth my STBEXH pulled the rug out from everything I knew and left us to take up with his now gf. I guess what I'm trying to ask is, how much do you explain about your circumstances/reasons for separating and how many dates in?

Smeaton · 07/07/2017 23:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
pringlecat · 08/07/2017 04:51

The Spaniard suggested a third date. I was able to knock him back on account of being too busy, which he bought. He's waiting for me to check my diary and get back to him. I'm not sure if I will.

Mr PT also wants a third date. It never rain but it pours.

I had a fun date with Mr PT. It's clearly not as easy to talk to him as it is the Spaniard; we have less in common and he's not as well-educated. I feel like I can say anything to the Spaniard and he'll get it; with Mr PT, I sometimes have to check myself and downgrade my language to something less complex.

But... despite not being the brightest button, Mr PT is a nice bloke and he makes me feel attractive on a primal level. And god, can the man talk dirty really well. Blush I feel really safe in his arms and that he thinks I am the prize. I really like feeling like someone's prize.

I think I'd have a lot of fun sleeping with Mr PT, but I don't feel like I know him well enough yet to know how he would really act afterwards and I don't think I could ever take being dumped after sex even if the sex was really good. Even though I'm drawn towards Mr PT in an animalistic way, at heart, I'm still that girl who sees cannot detach sex from love. I can't give in; I still need to get to know him more.

I'm exactly where I am after the first date. I still know that intellectually I click more with the Spaniard and physically, I click more with Mr PT. Arghhh! Confused

OP posts:
LanaDReye · 08/07/2017 08:36

Pringle playing devil's advocate here...the Spaniard may also be passionate with time and you can be more yourself with him?

At the moment you are Mr PT's prize, which is a lovely feeling to have, but will it be sustained and is it enough?

Sorry not helping I know. I just wonder if there is longevity with someone that you need to "downgrsde" for?

DivorceDating · 08/07/2017 08:42

Hi @coffeeandchocolate4 I've just had a similar dilemma with my dating. Married only two years but finally left my sexually & physically abusive ex via the police and various other support agencies. I struggled (and still do) with what to say and when to my dates as I'm not divorced yet (ex isn't playing ball surprisingly!) although my solicitor has filed with the courts.

I've been on four dates with someone lovely and told him by text after the third date, as it hadn't come up naturally in conversation, just that I was waiting for my divorce to be finalised. Nothing else. He waited a long time to reply which freaked me out (I panicked about it on here) but he's fine with it. I've now added it to my OLD profile. Just says 'waiting for my divorce to be finalised'. Not that I'm looking now as I'm a little bit smitten with current iron and seeing how it goes.

I know it's hard. I even struggled to tell friends let alone dates. It won't put the decent ones off. We are here if you need us xxx

YellowAardvark · 08/07/2017 09:07

That's terrible Minop!

I haven't updated in a while but posted last week about Mr Messages (always messaging, but not meeting often, someone I know in RL)

I have an update - we had plans to do a walk yesterday afternoon with a mutual friend. Mutual friend pulled out and we went ahead anyway, so we ended up having a really nice few hours walking and chatting about everything. I had fun, we'd never spent so much time together like that before. But - nothing over and above friendship, no moves etc although very comfortable company. I don't know how to tell if it's just a very close friendship. If it is that's fine but I hate not being able to read situations...

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