The Dating Thread 119 | Summer days, drifting away...

[pringlecat]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.

7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.

1. If it's not fun, stop.
2. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread.

pringlecat What is your experience with personal trainers? I am speaking to one at the moment

Thank you! Not entirely sure about Mr Tall but a snog with him or anyone would be lovely.

Exactly! I really don't get the photos versus real life appearance thing. Maybe to them it's not obvious - the fact they are 10 years older or 3 stone heavier. Perhaps they think it won't show in person

Laura9867 I know what you mean! A really good snog is sometimes what you need to 1) scratch an itch and 2) get your confidence back.

I had a first date with a PT last week (who I have so originally named Mr PT) and I'm having a second date with him tomorrow. Really excited. He's absolutely lovely.

I was surprised he liked me. Really, really surprised. When you've been knocked back by people who aren't at the top of their game physically, it's confusing as to why a PT would even look twice at you. But we had a really lovely snog at the end of our first date and er, the feel of certain anatomy doesn't lie.

I never follow my own advice because I am an idiot but view your PT as another iron. Don't be intimidated. I am really good at my job too, it's just my job doesn't involve me having to maintain my appearance. We all have different things to offer.

Good luck!

Yep. In the same way there have been discussions on here about what people are looking for - they don't need to be particularly tall, or wealthy, they just need to be manly, or gentle, or nice, or financially secure, or whatever.

We think about those things too. What do we have to offer. A PT doesn't generally earn a huge amount of money but is physically fit. If they're arrogant they'll think that's the most important thing. Other men aren't in great shape but earn good money and have security and think that's the right thing to offer. Others have neither but think they're funny and nice, if poor and maybe a bit chubby.

And they all look for different things too - security or wit or a gym partner. It's different for everyone.

Some people, of course, are arseholes - and they would be whether they were fit or rich or thought they were funny.

But many are lovely, nice, decent people, and generally we're just looking for someone that complements us

It's possible that me and my date from a few days ago have both said that we're not talking to anyone else at the moment and are looking forward to seeing each other at the weekend. This isn't a declaration of exclusivity as it's waaaaay too early for that. But it's nice.

Rules 1,2,3,6,7. And 5 & 8 a bit

Oooh, Bant! Sometimes, just sometimes, rules are meant to be broken. Cannot wait to hear how date two goes.

I should have joines. this thread earlier!!! I hope you don't mind me posting here. I am not online dating but two guys from work have asked me out (I have a thread on MN) and I am getting ready for my date with Mr Witty

I don't know if this is a pity date or real. We have been hanging out quite a bit lately as friends. He said he was not interested in me... and now asked me out. He said he has planned a great evening. Lets see!

Date with Mr Cook was great again. Things are moving at a steady pace and no red flags, even think I could really like him in the future. He says he hopes he doesn't mess it up and he knows that trust is earnt, I guess my skepticism is obvious when I talk about previous experiences visable. I'm not ready to let go of doubts yet. If I had met him a year ago it probably would have been easier for him

hello, may i join please? have just RTFT, i love the nicknames for the irons!

ive recently made a profile for OLD. ive spoke with maybe 5 or 6 men but only im only replying to 2 now.

1st on ill call Mr Gym, because we go to the same gym but matches on tinder we were chatting on Tuesday on tinder then moved to texting, and he asked me if i wanted to get food next Thursday, but i havent heard from him since! his last text was "ill drop you a message tomorrow." we havent actually spoken in the gym but definitely recognise each other.

2nd guy, Mr Music, wanted to meet this weekend but im busy, but may be free on sunday. we have a ridiculous amount in common, although hes more extrovert and im an introvert. he seems to not believe im real. hes incredibly cute/handsome/tall but i dont know if i want to rip of clothes off, unlike Mr Gym.

im recently out of a 4 year relationship so i dont want anything serious. im not a ONS type person either though, and need a connection to DTD. im very nervous and apprehensive about a 1st date, but im enjoying the experience.

ps. sorry for typos - on strong painkillers

Well I'm down to one iron. How did that happen?? Mr Buff is still being very lovely, and we have date 2 booked, but I'm gutted that Mr Nature met someone else before we got to meet. And he's even more alluring now because he was honest about it.

So it feels a bit weird to be going back on the dating site to look for more. I'm a bit rubbish at this

Hello,

So I have my first online date tonight 😬 I have very, very low expectations. We've chatted on the phone a few days ago and he seems nice. I'm 41 and have a little girl which he knows about, he is 5 years younger - no idea how that will work if he wants children. I know it's silly thinking about that stuff when I haven't even met him, but my spare time is precious!

Any good topics to talk about on a first date? I always find the conversation tends to end up naturally about past relationships which I really want to avoid.

Cherry xx

Ive been lurking on this thread for a while now.. may i join?
Ive been single for 4 months after i got badly hurt and had a hidious break up.. i was called awful names.. my confidance was at rock bottom.
Ive had 4 1st dates so far.
1st- Was alright, said he wanted to meet again but never heard from him
2nd- He looked nothing like his pics! Was really not attracted to him.
3rd- Spent most of the time yawning and on facebook
Im not in contact with these 3 anymore.
4th- Got on really well.. just wasnt a instant spark.. is that normal? Im really not sure if i find him attractive or not . He wanted to meet again and i agreed but im really not sure, im not excited about seeing him again

Lots of new people here - hello!

This thread is really useful for venting and laughing sharing experiences.

Sillygoose , Esk1mo and Cherry sounds like you will have some first date experiences to share soon. Hopefully positive!

Vodka I think it can take 3 dates to know the basics. If you find him unattractive physically or personality-wise it's not worth meeting again.

another at least Mr Nature was honest, but I know he may now seem like a 'dream' man. Try to remember he may not have been all he seemed nose picking, snoring etc. You don't know so have to imagine

Smeaton Mr Cook and I have said we are bf/gf. Still early days as only few weeks, but going in the right direction.

I'm staying on here as I've entered early relationship territory before only to have to walk away and start again.

So I heard back (he needs a name, I think I'll go with Mr Sport) and his friend wasn't replying so he asked again and said if he didn't get a response he'd call him then chatted for most of the evening (bringing up stuff that happened on previous dates too).

Friend responded this morning and won't swap shifts (boo :() but I've replied seeing if he's free any other days and currently on grey ticks as he's at work today so busy busy

Hi guys - thought I'd join you!

Was seeing someone for 4 months and he suddenly decided we didn't work anymore so was a bit gutted about that! It's put me off to be honest.

Currently on match... not had much luck. Lots of much older men messaging me for some reason or people who live miles away! I've also stated on my profile I'm looking for a man without children but 50% of the men who message have children! don't think I'm very good at this

Must persevere!

Another lurker here! I've had a little flurry of dates over the past month, the latest one who I liked and thought was genuine after two lovely dates, ghosted me. I'll never understand this.
Hey ho, got a coffee date planned for Saturday but not fully convinced about this one.

I am struggling to eat lunch due to butterflies. Oh, god. After a week of texting, I am so excited to see Mr PT tonight. I am hopeful it will go well. I am a little worried he might pressure me to DTD, but I think that's based on my experience of London douchebags rather than anything he's actually said or done. I'm probably worrying about nothing. He's been nothing but lovely to me.

Good luck to everyone else off on dates this weekend. And very pleased to hear about Mr Cook - success stories are what keep the rest of us going.

Bluetunic,

Why would you state that you want to meet a man without children, when you have children yourself?

Why would a child free man, want to date a woman with kids, when he could date someone child free?

rK24 Well, for a start, he might like kids but be infertile. So open to joining a family. The point is many men seem to deliberately ignore what you write and it's annoying - they assume they can change your mind.

Lana well done for entering dating territory with Mr Cook. I'd be wary still like you just because once you've been hurt in the past its so hard not to but it all sounds really promising. We all need to hear a success story or two .

pringlecat its so nice to find someone who gives you butterflies!! Enjoy it and I hope the date goes really well tonight. Keeping my fingers crossed for you.

I met Mr Soul on Wednesday evening and although I don't think he looked as great as his pictures he was still very attractive so I've agreed to meet him for dinner on Saturday for date 2.

Im meeting a new Iron tonight Mr Cheeky. Im really hoping there is some real fizz there as I like his pictures but only time will tell.

Good luck to all who have dates over the weekend.

Ok date is set - a week next Tuesday!! Such a long time to wait ha. Unfortunately the busiest time of year sports wise so he has very little time off. Never mind at least I have it set!