The Dating Thread 119 | Summer days, drifting away...

[pringlecat]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.

7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.

1. If it's not fun, stop.
2. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread.

minop that's so rude of him! Why would he assume you'd cancelled if he was already on his way??

I can't offer any re-assurance as to there being normal folk out there, I haven't found any lately

I've bowed out for a while too, I won't last all month though, I'll get bored & newly optimistic in a week or so I reckon...Haha

Lovemusic Happy to hear that Mr Surf has pulled his finger out and arranged a date this week. He does sound a bit keen but least you know he fancies you which is always a bonus!

Jonsnowsghost Well done on the 3rd date. I've done long distance in the past (3hr drive) and it never really bothered me, if you like someone you will travel the distance and you don't seem opposed to moving some day so might as well give it a try.

Laura 9867 I would also suggest sticking with it. New people join all the time so this week might be very slow but next week could really pick up and you could get a few more dates under your belt. I'm a fusspot too so I can relate.

minop How was the lunch date? Is there still a spark there?

pringlecat because you are not excited about the date it will probably be better than you think. Hopefully it will decide who is coming out on top. Have fun.

I had a spur of the moment date last night with a new Iron, Mr Blue eyes, he was very tall, handsome and rugged so just my type. He seemed pretty happy with me too, so much so he asked me to meet again tonight as he is in the area but I have another date so can't go. Will see him next Thursday instead. Im excited about him. So much so I nearly binned off tonight's date Mr Marathon but figured I should still go even though im super tired after last night and don't feel like traipsing halfway across London to meet. Will only stay for 1 or 2 max if im not feeling it.

Jelly I cheat with early messages. I write paragraphs about my day, funny interesting things and used cut-and-past (using evernote note app). The ones that could reply back properly then catch my attention. It's a bit slow and boring else!

Pringle you have no fear in showing your honest side and you may find the sparks fly if not MrPT is in with a chance .

Movingon it's them not you...possibly still invested in other relationships.

Nearlyfree can you do some cyber stalking whilst waiting for the dates? I find this really useful can see if they are fairly normal .

Minop it's him not you. By not looking the rest of July you are missing opportunities. Ok some opportunities may be bloody awful bad, but you are taking away the chance of positive opportunities too!

Seeing Mr Cook for 5th time later. I want to DTD so badly but he's being responsible and getting to know me first which is brilliant and a bit frustrating at the same time

Minop So sorry what a giant arse!!! Seriously, no consideration or respect. At least you found out now but even so its really unnecessary. Do not let this arsehole grind you down, dust yourself off and get back out there when you can. You are worth so much more and someone else will see that.

LM I sympathise it took my ex 7 months before he would regularly take DCs one night a week. Fortunately 18 months on and now we approach holidays he is taking them 2 nights a week. Persevere in asking and expecting him to help - he should do it even though he'll pretend not .

Earth two options is good as you never know what you will find out early on!!

Mr PT and I have been exchanging slightly suggestive messages. I'm not the type usually, but he's very cute and I really like him. Poor Spaniard.

Pringle I think you dhould definitely see The Spaniard, even just as a potential friend. Then see Mr PT. If things go wrong with MrPT on date 2 he admits he's about to go and live in Australia or has a weird fetish it's not so bad as you won't have to completely start again as you like The Spaniard too.

I won't cancel on him even though I want to. You speak sense plus I owe him a few drinks.

Well fuckity fuck!

Remember Mr Texan and I were supposed to have a date but he had a headache, fell asleep and didn't call and I was cross because he didn't apologise? Well he did apologise and I didn't take it any further as things were going so well in all other respects. Anyway, things had been going nicely, seen each a few times, both looking forward to the weekend ahead as I'm child free. He was in London over the weekend, texts me often during the day, calls me from the hotel Sunday evening, we confirm we'll do something Monday night as discussed before, all great.

He messages me Monday morning and later on to say he's on the way back. I messaged him later to suggest where to meet that evening and asking what time was good for him and NO REPLY at all.

It sat as unread until this morning, then I see it's been read and STILL no reply.

Obviously by now there's no way I want anything more to do with him..I have sent a message that literally said 'i have no idea why you've not replied but it is exceptionally rude' this is sat as undelivered so I'm thinking he's blocked me on what'sapp.

Wtaf? We've been dating for over 3 weeks and there wasn't the slightest indication anything was awry on his part. even down to convo on the phone Sunday night and texting me Monday all fun and joking then nada. How odd but obv bullet dodged!!

It's even weirder to block me when I've been to where he works in his workshop a few times, he's been round here a few times, we live in a pretty small town and are bound to bump into each other.

Bloody odd!!

Fiery - that's shit x

Isn't it? It was so unexpected I actually thought something was wrong as my message wasn't even read, then when it was read this morning and still no reply I started wondering wtf was going on.

Honestly I'm flabbergasted it's soooo weird I'm actually wondering if he has some kind of issues. We were literally texting and joking up to about midday yesterday

That is shit. But remember rule 6, if you try to understand why other people are shitty, you'll tie yourself in knots.

I have a date tonight. First date in a couple of months. I'll not hold my breath (actually I may do as I need to lose a stone :) )

Wish me luck

Good luck bant !

I can't even begin to understand so I'm not even gonna try. Off to unhide my profiles lol. He's deleted his!

En route to Spaniard, will write more later. But 1) that's utter shit why is dating so hard? and 2) good luck!

OK so, following rather lack lustre coffee date, have just had a lovely phone call with a guy, want to meet next week. Trying very hard to not to get excited as had good phone calls with said coffee date!! But he sounded so nice! I hate this bit! Any advice!?

Fiery that is rubbish but remember don't take it personally and it's better that he shows his true colours now before you invest too much emotionally.

Good luck bant!

I am getting a bit jaded now with OLD after having 10 first dates since the start of May, 3 of which progressed to a second date and one of which I ended after 7 dates because there was no longterm potential. I have one more iron, Mr Bike, who I am seeing this weekend but I am not holding my breath. After that I think I might put OLD on the back burner for a bit as I feel I'm spending all my childfree weekends on it with little return.

Firey is there any chance he could be married or has gone back to a ex? I only ask because this happened to me and the guy was having a bad patch with his wife (was messaging me loads, we met a few times, then he vanished) then he vanished, turns out he went back to the wife, they later split and he tried to contact me again.
It really is shit but it happens a lot where people just change their minds and vanish, has happened to me several times in the 2 years I have been OLD.

No recent ex and definitely not married, we've been pretty public and he invited me to drop in whenever to his work. I would think that otherwise! I'm not gonna worry as clearly he's a tosser of the highest order.

Gonna see if i can get a date for this coming child free weekend. 😂😂

Fieryfighter That is so strange, what a weirdo! Would agree with Lovemusic33 too about there being another woman on the scene or him not being sure. Who knows! Obviously you are better off without him!

Fiery I'm sorry to hear this. I love your get up and go though it's very inspiring.

Thank you earthangel797 & LanaDReye You are both right, I shouldn't give up after one date! I probably posted in haste and slight drunkenness. We actually had good conversation most of the evening but no attraction whatsoever. I really do think attractiveness can develop over time but not in this case! That sounds mean but his photos look nothing him! But at least I got out there, met someone new and discovered some interesting things. It's true though, you don't know if you'll click with someone until you meet them in person. I am still messaging Mr Lives in Another Country and should stop.

LanaDReye So interesting to see your recap of dates. You have so much persistence! Hoping it works with the man you are currently seeing.

Lovemusic33 - Have been following the Mr Surf rest day thing. What the.... . Hopefully he'll make up for it when you see him?

Bant - Hope it goes well tonight!

Fiery there's odd behaviour then really odd wtf behaviour. He definitely was a bullet well dodged, imagine if he had dropped everything months along. It's great that you are strong enough to carry on.

Justme I think we both met a Mr Bike iron at the same time. I ended it with mine a few weeks ago and now seeing a new iron - you have seen yours for a while now?

Good luck Bant and Pringle on your dates.

Laura it's so hard when you've talked to someone for ages and finally get to meet them and they look nothing like their photo. I met a guy last year, he looked so fit on his profile pic, met him and he looked nothing like it. Ended up falling for his personality as he was nice. The pic he was using was actually five years old !! Be has it on his Facebook from 2012!!!

flowergirl5 Ah, did you end up seeing him for much longer? I know that feeling. I knew his main profile photo was 7 years old (why oh why?! ) so was expecting some change but he looked like a completely different person.