The Dating Thread 119 | Summer days, drifting away...

[pringlecat]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.

7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.

1. If it's not fun, stop.
2. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread.

I think I will call him Mr Fit, we chatted until midnight and he messaged me early this morning, he seems really down to earth and nice, not how I would expect a 25 year old to be, I still wonder if he is actually 25. He sent me a few photos of himself with not much on and there was a bit of sexting but not in a dirty kind of way (just loose talk).

I'm really not sure about Mr Surf and his 'Rest day', I'm sure his job is quite stressful but not in a physical kind of way, he likes to go kite surfing on his days off but there was no talk of that on Sunday. He doesn't really text much, is hardly ever on whatsapp (so not talking to other people as far as I'm aware). I liked him on our date but wasn't a huge connection until we kissed. I think he will end up fading away or I will, he doesn't seem to want to put much effort in and I can't be that bothered either.

I had a few other messages last night on POF, one from another younger man but he doesn't look like my type so I haven't replied.

Love - mr surf sounds dull

Lovemusic sadly if you don't see eachother very often at the start it has the tendency to fizzle and he runs the risk of someone else catching your eye (Mr Fit). I wouldn't be that impressed with his rest day either, would have been nice if he could spare a an hour or two to see you. Give Mr Fit a whirl. Has a date been mentioned yet?

I met a guy at the weekend at a festival as we were walking in. He was absolutely gorgeous, tall, good body, 44 but looked very young, and single. I thought this is promising. I got talking to him later on and he told me he is preparing to quit his job as a tree surgeon so he can go live in a converted truck and live off the land. He then asked me to come over and said he would cook me some roadkill which he eats regularly! And no he wasn't joking. Its a no from me! We are just too different! Oh well!

I have a few dates this week so will see if any of them are any good. I hope so otherwise im starting to feel like OLD is a lot of effort for not much reward!

pringlecat after your second dates hopefully one will be standing out from the other and it will be clearer. Don't feel bad for kissing both, its needs to be a fair contest after all and you are the prize!

earth Mr fit hasn't mentioned a date, he seems lovely but I think he maybe the 'pen pal' type. Mr Surf has been messaging this morning still trying to sort out seeing me this week even though we agreed to wait until next week, maybe he has seen that I have been on POF and whatsapp a lot and knows there's a risk I will date other people?

Your festival man sounds pretty cool but an acquired taste, I'm all for living off the land but not sure about eating roadkill unless I know it's fresh 😝

earthangel797 Roadkill? Wow, he does sound very alternative... I would have found him too different too!

Lots of messages from Mr PT. He's really sweet and clearly thinking about me often. I've been thinking and you know what, I don't need a man who is rich and clever. I need a man who takes care of me (not in a financial way) and reminds me to look after myself.

Mr PT didn't let me pay for anything (we had drinks then went out for food on the spur of the moment) and I feel like he's the sort of man who would randomly bring me a cup of tea and a cuddle.

I think I need to assess the Spaniard and Mr PT on how kind I think they would be. I have my shit together, so really, having a big heart is the trait that should be the most most valuable.

I am starting to dread seeing The Spaniard tomorrow which does not bode well for him. I feel like he's not the one I want a second date with.

Lovemusic shame Mr Fit is turning into a pen pal but its early days he may still suggest a meet up yet.

Festival man was so hot but I just didn't find it attractive that he won't have a job and will just be bumming about hunting roadkill! I'm happy to pay my way and all but I think he is just too caveman for me! He seemed very down on anyone who had a mortgage too!

pringlecat I totally agree, kindness counts for a lot. I've never been interested in someone with money its more the little things like being considerate and thoughtful. Mr PT sounds lovely. Although I do think you should still give the Spaniard a go. You might be feeling a bit different towards him because you saw Mr PT last and he is on your mind a bit more. Has the Spaniard been in much contact since your date?

Mr fit has been messaging me all day. Had another look at his profile and he's not 25, he's 24 (even younger, lol). I have always dated men older than me, usually in their 40's so talking to a 24 year old seems really odd, although he doesn't come across as being 24.

Pringle I agree about kindness and finding someone who looks after you, it's not about money and often I find people with money are quite selfish.

Well I spoke too soon...third date is being planned

Earthangel your post on festival made me laugh. I can't imagine hunting for and eating roadkill, it's not a selling point for me and I imagine to most people!

Pringle if Mr PT is a lovely person to be with, and can afford to join in with regular days out, then all sounds good. I wouldn't want to pay for an ex's debts or lifestyle but a lower income would be ok. Still see the Spaniard to keep options open! .

LM have you discussed places that you both currently like to go for a drink?
If he catches your attention that much, why not ask him if he would like to meet?

Mr Cook is arranging day off work to see me soon so we have more time. I'm very impressed!

Jonsnow 3rd date is good going. I think how date 3 goes is really telling for me it either ends then or goes on for many weeks .

Lana, yes I think the same. I was talking to my friends this weekend about the distance situation but apparently picked the wrong set as one was in a Midlands - Newcastle relationship (now married), one currently London - Midlands and another who's sibling had the same distance as this situation so they could not give me unbiased answers
Still thoughts in the back of my mind about it but I've never really wanted to stay in one place forever so who knows!

At least you know the big issue from the start to consider what to do about it move .

Back from first OLD date (this time round). He looked nothing like his pics & seemed much older than he is or claims to be!

I do fancy someone in 'real life' so that is a bonus but don't think he feels the same. Sigh...

I think I am nearly done with OLD after one date. Maybe my standards are too high but for all the time I've spent talking to people I haven't come across anyone who is attractive and vaguely interesting. I'd rather stay in watching tele and eating cake.

Dear oh dear, have been out a couple of times with a local chap I met on POF (although we have a mutual friend, we've since discovered). There's been kissing and I think we'll be dtd before too long, although I'm still not convinced there's really a spark there until we're actually kissing, then it's all rather pleasant.

Anyway, I had a couple of messages on POF so I logged in yesterday to have a read. One guys lives in the same town as me, so we're going to meet up when I walk the dog tonight (time-limited, in case we don't get on!). He's a bit of a text pest though and has been WhatsApping me constantly since last night (he is off work all this week, so perhaps he's just bored...). The other message was from a fireman (or so he says) in London, so a good 90+ miles away, who sent me a voice note then rang up and basically talked dirty to me for half an hour! I was going to hang up, delete and block, but then conversation went back to "normal" chat and he was actually quite nice (and had a lovely voice). Think I'll stick with Mr Mutual Friend, who seems pretty decent compared to some!

So I rearranged a few things so I can meet up with Mr Surf on Thursday, he then sent me a message saying 'he can't wait to see me, kiss me and hold me' (a bit keen?). Anyway will see how date 2 goes, not getting too excited about it, he is quite fit and I would happily DTD with him but not sure if he's relationship material, will see how it goes. He's going to phone me later to arrange something.

I had a night out last night for the first time for ages ( just a girly night) and I'm feeling a bit fragile this morning, I rarely go out. My ex sat with the dc's, I was late back and he wasn't happy, just proves that dating is going to be tricky as he's not willing to help me out once and a while.

Laura don't give up after one dull date, if nothing else it's an opportunity to chat to new people. I find behaviours can change attractiveness so try not to judge on initial looks. I ignore hair /baldness/ height as long as few inches taller than me I'm v short / tattoos/build /hobbies. I read profiles and send quick messages to ones I like or list the name so if they message me I write back. Until you meet you don't know how you will 'click' or want to get away .

Monkey your RL opportunity sounds like it's worth pursuing over the sex pest "fireman".

Out of interest I have just re-counted and I have had 13 dates over 11 months. Ranging to 1 date to 2 months. Pattern for me:
1 mth nice but moved far away
3 single awful want to wipe from memory dates
5 single nice but no spark dates
2 x 2mth spark but issues with addiction
1 x 1 mth highly controlling (Mr Angry)

Now seeing someone with a 'spark', whom seems fun and normal, but it's been less than a fortnight so I'm waiting to see the skeletons fall out the closet reality. Maybe 1/13 will be ok if not I'm staying on this thread forever .

LM can your ex have DCs at his?

After a positive 4 irons last week...it has quickly dropped to 1 (the RL one)... OLD is just dire for me atm so I've come off've everything. It's partly me, I'm just not engaged enough to keep up conversations that don't immediately flow.

Lovemusic my ex is the same- won't help in any way if it means I get to do something I want to do- even wanted to charge me to borrow his sat nav yesterday to take the kids out!!

I find myself with no irons.
Haven't heard from Mr Big Shoes since he text to check I got home ok on Friday- no loss as such as there really was no spark and there were multiple red flags before meeting.

Mr Courier has dropped off the face of the Earth! He messaged me Saturday morning, we exchanged a few messages and then he just stopped replying.
I messaged once Saturday evening, he read it and didn't reply. I've sent none since and neither has he, don't know why he's disappeared- nothing in the messages he sent suggested he was about to.
''Tis a shame as he is hot and I really wanted to meet him!

Need to find someone else now 😂

Hi everyone

Lovemusic33 my ex would be exactly the same. I try and let him know as little as possible about my plans so he doesn't suspect me of having fun when he has the DC.

I had a coffee date with a new "iron" on Sunday, who is absolutely gorgeous. Call him "Mr Muddy" as he has a mud-related hobby. We can't meet up again until a week on Saturday and I hope he doesn't lose interest in the meantime.

I also have a coffee date next Sunday as well, with someone else who seems nice, works as a programmer "Mr IT". We haven't chatted much yet but he has a great profile and seems to have just my sense of humour.

There are a few others that are in the background. And I had a spontaneous encounter on Friday with a very on-off FB so that has perked me up in the meantime!

I'm getting ready to go on a lunch date which is technically a 2nd date as we did breakfast 4 months ago but he was too busy for dating at the time and I was off on holiday so naturally fizzled out. He text out of the blue last week asking to take me out again. After the disaster of mr addict I was taking a break but I liked this guy so why not! I don't have high hopes but I think that's just my mood at the moment. He's a nice guy so might give me the jolt I need, if that's a literal jolt then happy days

Seeing the Spaniard later. I haven't done my hair, my clothes are nice but not the most flattering and I might not bother with contacts. Can you tell I'm not excited?

Scarp my previous post, the man never showed up!!! 😂 Honest feel like you can't make this crap up!
He text saying running late by 15 minutes, we were joking about been Roy this morning (I'd never heard of it but it means keen apparently) I joked you can't be accused of been a Roy, he text back 'your a roy'. Last I heard. I phoned him 30 minutes after the time he was suppose to turn up to be told because I didn't answer his text he thought I had cancelled! It wasn't even a text that needed an answer! Then tells me I'm negative and he doesn't want to date someone like me 😂 Why after 4 month get back in touch to mess with me?
I told him my opinion that I think he likes the chase and thought he had me so dropped me again. Also told him where to go in not so many nice words
Please tell me there's some normal people out there! I feel battered and bruised so I'm bowing out for the month of July I've decided! I'l still be following you all, good luck Xx

Oh and this morning I have had 2 photos, one from Mr Fit (full body shot but covering up his bits) and a top half shot from Mr Surf who has a lovely hairy chest.

Monkey I would stick to Mr mutual friends, it's good that you have friends in common (you can always be nosey and find out things about him). I would love to meet someone that has mutual friends, not quite as scary as dating a complete stranger.

My ex can't have them at his as he's just moved into a friends b&b so only has a room, though he stays at his girlfriends a couple nights a week, apparently he was in trouble with her for being late last night and she went to bed and locked him out , I don't really have any other childcare, I need childcare for the summer holidays but ex won't agree to any days (I need to work a couple days a week), he only has them for 5 hours a week.

If things go ok with Mr Surf I don't know how I'm going to see him during the summer holidays unless I introduce him to the kids which I don't really want to do.