From Russia With Love (earrings 2)

[MarilynMonsoon]

Can't believe so many of you helped me that I need a new thread!?

No contact tonight, dread tomorrow's return to the flat though

What a knob.

You're doing great OP

Just keep focused, stick with your plans for a fabulous life without him. He will be hoping you take pity on him, but he fucked his own life up. You have been absolutely blameless in his downfall. Just remember that.

Have blocked him now. Been to look at a new place and seeing another one tomorrow

"and is begging me to reconsider the tenancy"

Little does he know the landlord saw his tantrum and has said he doesnt want him back in.

Wow OP! You rock! Well done :)

I've read all your posts OP and I'm so sorry you've had to go through all this bullshit. I can't believe how he reacted and the things he's said to you, stay strong, you are way better with people like this out of your life!

Wow he's really showing you who he is now isn't he? Calling YOU a cunt? That's rich. I think you're awesome OP and if you're ever in West Sussex I would love to buy you a drink!

Loving your reply but blocking him was a good idea. Hope you find a nice place.

Wow op, I am delighted to see that you have recovered/ reclaimed all aspects of your wit and sense of humour that he spent four and a half years trying to destroy! Thank goodness he has spent the last few days showing you how much of a bullying, cheating, abusive, twisted narcissist he actually is!! Its hard to imagine, but had he not swiped Miss Russia's earrings like some kind of trophy, you would still be washing his skid marked pants and ironing his socks! All the while sleeping next to a ticking time bomb!

I hope that you can find somewhere lovely to stay, and that you never have to see your creep of an exh again!

Op, the word awesome was made for you! I'm certainly in awe of you, and I've not exactly has a quiet life.....
Your ex is something else tho isn't he? I really think he believed himself in with a chance. And yes, thinking you can have your cake and eat it, while pissing on your "loved one", yea, I think that calls for professional help.

I think script writing I'd your new life, you've nailed it with the one liners.

Good luck with the flat hunting.

It's all worked out so very inconveniently for HIM hasn't it. No concern for YOU at all.

Wipe him from your life as you would shit from your shoe. It surely hurts like hell that the man you love doesn't really exist - the road rage he has shown before shows his true self that was always there, but usually masked for his purposes.

You deserve so much better OP. Best wishes for your new improved life

You are doing brilliantly. I feel like if I was your mum I'd be super proud of you! Just when I thought he could stoop no lower he managed it.

I expect he wanted you to reconsider the tenancy because he's getting grief from his mum. Or he's broken her heart when she read those messages he wrote to you.

I'd be gutted if my son turned out to treat women as badly he has treated you.

But that's their problem. Lean on your friends and don't look back

He wanted challenging, he got a fucking she- warrior. Marry me, OP.

I just feel completely empty and numb, like I can't believe I spent years thinking he was a different person, how can anyone hide their true selves that well?

Some people are experts at it, OP, plus once we are comfortable we stop looking so hard. You say he did get road rage.

This thread has made me fucking terrified. I trust my DH with my life but clearly OP did with her partner too 😔

My dad is cruel and abusive and the signs were there. I didn't see them until I was 40 . He did something outrageously abusive for me to see. They only show you what they want you to see. It's not a fault to see the best in someone. It's not you.

It's totally devastating when you realise someone who you loved and thought loved you, turn out to be someone totally different.
It's a shock.
Something I discovered about my ExH and recent ExP.
It's an eye opener that's for sure.
Look after yourself and be kind to yourself.
Surround yourself and love and support and you'll get there.

Oh Marilyn, you get more awesome with every step and he gets more pathetic, you really are far too good for him. I think you can expect a bit of an emotional crash anytime now though, however much of a twunt he is your life has still been turned upside down by the events of the last few days and you wouldn't be human if that didn't affect you.

Being kind to yourself and surrounding yourself with as much support as possible is vital now, maybe the sofa rota would be a good idea til you've found a new place? Sometimes being out of your normal environment is better in situations like this, especially when your flat will understandably remind you of him, and it would mean you had people around you in case you need support.

You've been like superwoman through all this but no one here (and I'm sure your friends would say the same) expects you to keep that up all the time. You're allowed to be upset and to grieve the life (and the man) you thought you had and we (and your friends I'm sure) are here for you just as much in your weaker moments as when you're being strong and kick-ass.

Your future's bright though and I honestly think you'll look back one day in the not too distant future and be glad he showed you he really is so you could move on to better things.

Hmm, is he asking you to reconsider the tenancy because he wants to be back with you or because he wants you to carry on paying for him?

You're doing great. It will hurt but you will be fine.

He went from 0 to 100 real quick.
PP has is spot on as far as not referring to the relationship, but worrying about the tenancy

What did the police say? Did they not show up at your flat ?

Agree with PP - you were supposed to be so grateful he was willing to take you back, and can't quite believe you have pulled the rug out from under him so now he is stuck living on mummys sofa.

Head high - move on. Fantastic life waiting out there for you.

You are doing so well!

I totally understand about someone being not quite what you thought they were, its as if your mind has been playing tricks on you all these years or your judgement had totally vanished. What you have to remember OP is this is not about your poor judgement like a nice person and like many of us here , you rightly took him at face value.

Marilyn my exH fooled me completely. He changed the minute he got the wedding ring on my finger, and subjected me to 6 years of emotional and financial abuse, he's still trying to bully and control me but failing miserably 2 years after we split up.

I got it completely wrong too.