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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

From Russia With Love (earrings 2)

449 replies

MarilynMonsoon · 25/06/2017 23:54

Can't believe so many of you helped me that I need a new thread!?

No contact tonight, dread tomorrow's return to the flat though

OP posts:
StormTreader · 27/06/2017 14:19

I bet he deeply regrets his mistake in not hiding those earrings away!

WaahImTellingTheDorchester · 27/06/2017 14:30

Goodness. I posted on your first thread. Well done.

You have lovely friends, use them! And keep safe, though I suspect that from the clear message you've given him you will be ok and may have seen the back of him. I hope so.

A mistake... after everything he said to you. Really. That's a whole new definition of 'mistake' I've never even heard of, must buy myself a new dictionary Wink

Flowers to you!

ohfourfoxache · 27/06/2017 14:35

What a nasty, nasty sod Sad

You're doing so well. In a way thank fuck this has happened- you're away from him now and I suspect you'll be much happier without him

guinnessgirl · 27/06/2017 14:38

I've been following your threads from the beginning, OP, and I'm truly amazed at your strength and ability to rise above him. I'm not surprised that you're reeling - he's gone from being your apparently lovely cuddly DP to an utter shitweasel in the space of just a few days. It must be bewildering. Just be glad that you've seen him show his true colours now, while you can still cut and run relatively simply. You're worth ten of him and you now have a far brighter future ahead of you Flowers

Giraffey1 · 27/06/2017 14:40

He really has shown his true colours, hasn't he? Was he really thinking you'd welcome him back with open arms? What a massive idiot he is! I'm glad you have some good friends and neighbours around to support you. Stay strong, you will ge through this!

winglesspegasus · 27/06/2017 14:52

mm
just catching up/in another time zone.
you are amazing,funny and smart..keep on going.you are in control now.be yourself.
you have cheerleaders all over the world.
the stress will ease up and the hurt will go away.
and dont forget to dance
33 yr old dd has read whole thread.she and i were so worried about you.
you rock
dd says 33 will be a very good year.Grin

user1486915549 · 27/06/2017 14:56

At least his awful behaviour will give you the strength to know you have done the right thing on future days when you may be feeling a little down. He didn't come with any intention of clearing his stuff did he, he thought he was staying!!
You have good friends , take up their offers until you get your new flat sorted. Can you ask his mother to come and collect his stuff ?
Oh, by the way , you are my hero x

Bambamrubblesmum · 27/06/2017 15:01

How very dare you not be his plan B! Don't you know you were supposed to meekly welcome him back after he did the sad puppy dog act. You weren't suppose to actually make decisions for yourself!

What a dickhead. Not so much a fall from grace but a plummet. And a very public one at that.

There's no way you are 'barren' op. This is nature's way of making sure his genes don't contaminate the pool.

You have great things ahead of you. Now you can really find someone who genuinely cares for you and have precious babies with. Take heart from all those posters who battled their way through. It can be done Flowers

Ineedmorelemonpledge · 27/06/2017 15:05

My daughter calls people like your cunt a "liner". He is used to lining up his life before he jumps. Unfortunately for him you acted before he had all his ducks in a row and so all his plans have crumbled.

I was thinking this as I caught up with the threads @fourquenelles ...

I also thought he was still hedging his bets by trying to undermine your confidence OP and voicing his thoughts on your weaknesses when you found the earrings.

If he made you feel bad with the barren, boring comments then you might be feeling so low that he could come back to you, because you'd be desperate and he'd be your saviour. And you'd be grateful.

He forgot the feisty, abrasive you is still under there somewhere. Flowers

I would've just loved to have been a fly on the wall when he called on his exciting new plaything (hopefully with flowers) to watch the slow realisation that a relationship with him was about as attractive as a cup of cold sick.

Original poster
MarilynMonsoon · 27/06/2017 15:07

Have had a message, he is at his mums. I have not heard from her since I forwarded his messages, he is sorry about yesterday and is begging me to reconsider the tenancy, he doesn't know what got into him he thinks maybe he needs professional help.

I said he could get all the professional help he needed at the GUM clinic and hey, considering I will also be there since he's put my own health at risk, why don't we make it a fun day out?

I know I should t have replied and I fully expect to get abuse in return but it felt great I can't lie

OP posts:
winglesspegasus · 27/06/2017 15:15

block him now

Bambamrubblesmum · 27/06/2017 15:16

Jeez he's the gift that keeps on giving isn't he. He just can't accept that you don't see how privileged you are to have him in your life Hmm

I actually really liked your response Grin

NellieFiveBellies · 27/06/2017 15:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Monkeypuzzle32 · 27/06/2017 15:20

You have a great landlord-does he have other properties you might like?
Agree with blocking Henry the Oaf now, you got the better of him now let him fester in his own crap! Onwards & upwards Marilyn!

TheDogsMother · 27/06/2017 15:29

I've been watching this unfold and I have to say Marilyn, you are amazing ! You have been through some horrible shit with strength, humour, intelligence and dignity. He, on the other hand, is a complete cunt and I couldn't be happier that karma befell him totally. It must have been utterly mind blowing how your DP turned into a vile, cruel stranger. Of course its horrible right now but you will get through this, you can be yourself again and in time meet someone who properly appreciates you for the wonderful person that you are.

NoncommittalToSparkleMotion · 27/06/2017 15:35

What an absolute piece of shit he is. I'm so sorry you had to experience that, but glad your friends and neighbours were there to help you.

"I need professional help." Is that supposed to make you go running back? What an idiot.

Hissy · 27/06/2017 15:35

Your reply was a total 10/10!

Now block the prick.

Honestly, it'll drive the point home.

Kevinbaconsrealwife · 27/06/2017 15:35

Thinking of you at this horrible time Marilyn....6 months on from now you will not only realise you've dodged a bullet but also a full round from an AK 47.... I've met ( and been involved with) some Wankers in my time but your ex has left me speechless!!!! Have to say like other lovely vipers I'm delighted his world is imploding as we speak ....take care and be kind to yourself , you've been through a terrible experience xx

Flisspaps · 27/06/2017 15:43

You, OP, are a legend Grin

ThatsNotMyMarmot · 27/06/2017 15:45

Did he actually refer to your entire relationship as "the tenancy" ? If so there's the tell. He considers it nothing more than a roof over his head until he can meet his next conquest behind your back.

Mosseywossey · 27/06/2017 15:49

Your amazing! I have to say that reply made me laugh! It will certainly make him go pale.
Really hope he is being ripped one from his mother.😂😂😂

Fertleby · 27/06/2017 15:52

Might need help!
Bet that's his mum's idea, mum of my abusive partner tried to excuse his behaviour when she found out by saying he didn't mean it, and he needed help, would I support him while he got it. Er no. He only thought he needed help when he was forced to explain to dear mummy what a bad boy he had been, for months.
I stand in awe of you Marilyn, you are my goddess, I shall build a temple to you.

PinkCosmo · 27/06/2017 15:53

Wow. So he was angry and lost it because you gave notice on the tenancy?

He really thought he could have it all!

HIs mammy will be telling him what a great catch he is, don't worry about that!

MsAdorabelleDearheartVonLipwig · 27/06/2017 16:02

He doesn't need help, there's nothing actually wrong with him. He's just a cheating fucking arsehole that got caught out. Nothing special about that, happens all the time.

How are you getting on for alternative accommodation?

Easilyflattered · 27/06/2017 16:03

Well he's shown his true colours in front a lot of witnesses now. Doubt he'll be getting a reference from the landlord when he tries to get a new place.

I'm glad you had friends there to support you.

This will get better, it will likely get better sooner if you just don't have any further contact with him.