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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

From Russia With Love (earrings 2)

449 replies

MarilynMonsoon · 25/06/2017 23:54

Can't believe so many of you helped me that I need a new thread!?

No contact tonight, dread tomorrow's return to the flat though

OP posts:
ImaLannister · 30/06/2017 21:32

Hey, congrats on the flat! Onwards & upwards. Hope your treating yourself to a glass of vino this weekend. It's well deserved Wine

Original poster
MarilynMonsoon · 30/06/2017 22:00

My bestie is over here tonight and we have cracked open a bottle of champagne Grin

OP posts:
MmeGuillotine · 30/06/2017 22:12

Congratulations! You are totally awesome and as a historian, I applaud your pertinent reference to Ms Boleyn. I'll be chuckling about that FOREVER.

Bluebellforest1 · 30/06/2017 22:23

Have followed both threads, well done you! Wine Flowers xx

FastAbsorbingCake · 30/06/2017 22:30

WineWineWine

anchor9 · 30/06/2017 22:48

he sounds pathetic. well done OP. onwards and upwards Flowers

dragonsandfairies · 30/06/2017 22:54
Wine
Yoksha · 30/06/2017 23:00

Wine you are awesome OP

Ginkypig · 30/06/2017 23:48

You enjoy those bubbles, have a toast to your new better most fabulous new life!

nigelsbigface · 30/06/2017 23:55

Chin chin op x

drivereight · 01/07/2017 03:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CosmoClock · 01/07/2017 09:18

Enjoy your new place! The speed your life has changed at must have given you whiplash. You have processed it all very quickly. Wine

happypoobum · 01/07/2017 09:24

Congratulations - you will feel so much better in your new place - a lovely fresh start for you. Flowers

WhatwouldOliviaPopedo · 01/07/2017 09:51

I've read both of your threads and just wanted to add my voice to the many - you've handled this horrible situation so brilliantly and I only wish I could be half as strong as you're being! Also, have you ever thought of a career as a comedy writer?! Even in the midst of all the upset your posts have been so funny. 😁 Your ex is an idiot for not appreciating what a hilarious and spirited woman you are.

MrsMozart · 01/07/2017 10:04

Happy new life lass WineGrinFlowers

Doublemint · 01/07/2017 12:14

WineSmilehope the next two weeks whizzes by!

Bambamrubblesmum · 01/07/2017 12:30

I would expect him to ramp up the drama a bit in the next two weeks. Once you're in your new flat he knows he's completely lost you he's a bit dense if he hasn't worked that out already

I would think a desperate phonecall from his mum that he might do something drastic or turning up on the doorstep with flowers. Not sure but plan for the worst and hope for the best.

Great news about your flat! Flowers

FizzyGreenWater · 01/07/2017 12:34

Congratulations OP!

Believe me, your silence on FB says more than any comment ever could :)

And it has the added advantage of showing him - again, more than any comment ever could - that you have simply moved on. Deleted him from you life!

All the best in your new flat Flowers

YessicaHaircut · 01/07/2017 15:23

🍾🥂🙌 Well done OP!

CosmoClock · 01/07/2017 15:55

True, the only thing I ever did that got through to my abusive x was when I stopped communicating. For years I'd tried to reason with him. He was devastated when I stopped defending myself. For years I'd tried to reason with him. Waste of time.

Geepee71 · 01/07/2017 17:46

Woooooooo brilliant news about the flat, throw yourself into getting ready for this new, scary and exciting time. Once you've enjoyed the champagne with your bestie! Rooting for you all the way.

Original poster
MarilynMonsoon · 01/07/2017 19:33

He appeared today, looking like absolute shite, crying and begging me to let him come back because 'the weekend is so empty' Hmm I have to admit I was not very nice and asked why it wasn't being filled by Anna Boleynski, he didn't even get angry he was just in bits. Unshaven and smelled too, I don't know if he's been going into work.

He's sorry for everything, he's made a terrible mistake, etc etc - I didn't let him get very far, I said his conduct after he was found out had proved beyond any doubt that he was not the person I thought he was and I didn't want to get to know this version of him any better. He cried more. He's left with the understanding that he can have the flat after I move out in a week to sort himself out.

Was all very ice maideny when he was here but now I'm just shocked by his appearance and surprisingly tearful actually :(

OP posts:
MrsBertBibby · 01/07/2017 19:36

He'll smarten up once he knows it won't work.

Manipulative shameless wanker.

TheLegendOfBeans · 01/07/2017 19:37

You feel sad because you're a kind human being; capable of compassion and concern for someone you love(d).

He has been the architect of his own downfall. His distressing state is his making and no-one else's.

So yes, you would need to have a heart of stone not to let his pitiful state touch you, but don't dwell on feeling sad for him for too long x

AlcoholandIrony · 01/07/2017 19:39

Think he's burned his bridges and needs to put his big boy pants on now.

But from your point OP, it can be heartbreaking. It's heartbreaking that you don't know who he is anymore. It's heartbreaking because he's taking this so hard. But. You are not responsible for him. He is not your problem. He is HIS problem. And to use a cliche - he's made his bed so he needs to lie in it now. Alone.