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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Mystery earrings

999 replies

MarilynMonsoon · 23/06/2017 13:33

Not sure where else to get advice for this.

DP works away sometimes, we've not had trust issues before and I'm usually happy to wave him off. He was in a hotel for two night midweek this week and nothing out of the ordinary behaviour wise prior to that.

Was going through some of his packing to tidy up/sort laundry - not snooping I have to add, I've never felt he might be doing anything behind my back, but in his wash bag I found a pair of earrings that aren't mine. They are not a gift because I don't have pierced ears.

Since his return he's been affectionate and normal if a bit glued to his phone, but he does a lot of work on it so again not out of the ordinary.

I feel really confused, I've never had a reason not to trust him but I can't shake the sight of those earrings. Returned them to bag but took a pic on my phone. What do I do?

OP posts:
MrsChopper · 24/06/2017 21:11

Oh do tell him to go fuck himself. What a nasty piece of shit. Honestly you are so much better off without him.

And Anne Boleynski will sharp seem dull when the excitement of the affair wears off. It won't last 2 minutes!

ComputerUserNotTrained · 24/06/2017 21:12

Be an unreasonable bitch and dump his shit at work. I dare you

noodleaddict · 24/06/2017 21:13

Well he's showing his true colours now. What a horrible piece of work. You had a lucky escape.

Gemini69 · 24/06/2017 21:15

He's sending these Vile Toxic messages ... to JUSTIFY his actions and behaviour... he will need to explain what has happened to everyone.. because he can't keep his dirty secret for long....

He MUST run you into the gutter to give him a pathetic excuse to have begun a sordid dirty affair with Russian Tramp...

you stay strong Lady... you have nothing to hide or excuse...

He on the other hand has a merry dance to come at Work... x

gottachangethename1 · 24/06/2017 21:15

You sound well rid op. Take things by the hour for now. It's good you have rl Support. BrewCake

CremeFresh · 24/06/2017 21:16

When I split with my ex he made derogatory remarks about my vagina. I told him that the piles hanging out of his arse were the same shape as his bald head Grin

Original poster
MarilynMonsoon · 24/06/2017 21:23

Omg creme you are my hero

OP posts:
MummysMaison · 24/06/2017 21:26

It's a shame you didn't have all the staff email addresses at his work. You could accidentally send a round robin email to them all that 'was meant just for him'.

Gemini69 · 24/06/2017 21:26

CremeFresh... literally spat out my tea [grins]

SussexMedley · 24/06/2017 21:27

Post his text to Facebook and tag him. Send it to his mother and to Anne Boleynski if you can. It says nothing about you and everything about him.

She's only five years younger than you ffs. 32! He's making out like you're one foot in the grave. 32! You're a sapling darling. And once he's gone you will flower.

Earlybird · 24/06/2017 21:29

Pretty fascinating that he is spending Saturday night sending you vile texts instead of spending time with The Russian.

CremeFresh · 24/06/2017 21:31

You will get over this , it's early days so you will be up and down . Try and go with it, if you feel like crying then allow yourself to sob your heart out , rant and rage when you want to , it's a process that easier as time passes.

Having limited or no contact makes it easier ( unless you need to comment on his piles of course) , getting dragged into slanging matches will only make you feel worse . X

happypoobum · 24/06/2017 21:32

I absolutely would send all his shit to his work.

Embarrass the fuck out of him. Address it to both of them or to XP, c/o Anna Boleynski (use her real name)

It will make you feel much better. Then send him a text saying you are blocking him and your solicitor will be in contact re the house in due course.

You don't have to use a solicitor, it will just give you breathing space to get over the shock and blocking him is the kindest thing you can do for yourself now. Flowers

hahahaIdontgetit · 24/06/2017 21:33

He's texting you because he's not with her.
Total loser, just dump his stuff, what the hell does he think he can do about it?
You are so much better off without him, I doubt his Russian bit really wants him.

rednyellongreen · 24/06/2017 21:35

Strong chance the shared house already contains her boyfriend I reckon

Yeah, it sounds like he's not the only one been spinning lies.
Karma.

magoria · 24/06/2017 21:36

It is interesting that rather than being out with someone he says is so much better than you he is spending his Saturday evening dissing you instead.

I think you have pissed on his chips a little Grin

Mustang27 · 24/06/2017 21:36

Lol Creme!!

Honestly Mumsnet makes me hate men there are so many threads like this, it's really depressing.

Marilyn don't listen to any of it, especially that you never noticed he was checking out because the fucker would have probably gone on for much longer had it not been for you finding the earrings and receipt. I hate that the cheater always blames the other person.

Anasnake · 24/06/2017 21:37

The Russian doesn't want him or she'd be with him right now. This was an ego shag for both of them. Now he's panicking and lashing out. Block and delete his number otherwise in a few days he'll be trying to crawl back when he realises his smutty affair is going nowhere and you're better than that.

NotMyPenguin · 24/06/2017 21:37

You've had a lucky escape (though I know it probably doesn't feel like it just yet). What a plonker! Spending money he didn't have on a girl who didn't want him -- says it all really. You were totally wasted on him and you will do much better!

mermaidsandunicorns · 24/06/2017 21:39

Oh sweetheart Flowers

He's a bellend
It will hurt mainly for the injustice of it all. He's pissed off that you've upset his nice little setup hence the nasty texts. I've had this happen and it hurts like hell. It's like they genuinely can't see anything wrong with what they've done!!

Stay strong and don't go down to his level it will piss him off more. I would chuck his stuff out tho Grin

rednyellongreen · 24/06/2017 21:39

Apparently I 'got too comfortable' and 'let myself go'

What century is this tosser in?

How old is he again?

InLovewithaGermanFilmStar · 24/06/2017 21:40

He has text this morning saying he is so sorry but he feels he has wasted important years with someone barren and has a chance at a fulfilled happy life now it's out in the open

What an utter utter waste of space FUCKER

You poor thing Flowers

doubleshotespresso · 24/06/2017 21:41

Marilyn I would send one bin bag per Uber to his workplace, all cash on delivery... 10 bags=10cabs

Or perhaps you could use the credit card details you have on your phone and do the same?

rednyellongreen · 24/06/2017 21:44

Can I ask what nationality he is?

I got too comfortable and let myself go

He has very rigid, old fashioned views with regards to women.
He sees women as second class citizens.
You are well rid of him.

You are well rid of him.

SymphonyofShadows · 24/06/2017 21:45

He'll be saying you didn't 'keep yourself nice' next. Utter cunt