Mystery earrings

[MarilynMonsoon]

Not sure where else to get advice for this.

DP works away sometimes, we've not had trust issues before and I'm usually happy to wave him off. He was in a hotel for two night midweek this week and nothing out of the ordinary behaviour wise prior to that.

Was going through some of his packing to tidy up/sort laundry - not snooping I have to add, I've never felt he might be doing anything behind my back, but in his wash bag I found a pair of earrings that aren't mine. They are not a gift because I don't have pierced ears.

Since his return he's been affectionate and normal if a bit glued to his phone, but he does a lot of work on it so again not out of the ordinary.

I feel really confused, I've never had a reason not to trust him but I can't shake the sight of those earrings. Returned them to bag but took a pic on my phone. What do I do?

Sorry I've read the whole thread and have nothing useful to say. The whole barren thing is the lowest of the fucking low. There's no shame in boxed wine this weekend.

The 'barren-ness' is nothing to do with anything. It is a total red herring.

The man has been led by his cock as many men are.

You have done nothing wrong. Nothing.

Silence is your best reaction atm imo. For as long as you can manage it.

He is punching way above his weight with the Russian -- give it a few months and she'll dump him.

Be ready to tell him to fuck off when he comes whining.

What an absolute bell end. I'm so glad you don't have to divorce him, or have to have any civil contact with him because you had children with him.

It does sound like he has perhaps pinned greater expectations on Anna Boleynski Thomasova than she wants to live upto.

His mate, the collector of stuff, sounds like a reasonable bloke. He probably didn't expect his weekend to pan out like this either, and if he has a missus I expect she'll be demanding your DP removes himself from the sofa forthwith. I would if my husband brought some philandering mate home. Your DP might well find his mates soon distance themselves too.

But most of all, stay strong.

She'll have dumped him by the end of next week, if she hasn't already.

Russian you say? I bet her visa's up for renewal and that's why she's happy to play the lover to your DH. And before anyone accuses me of anything, I know of more than one person who has been swept off their feet by a Russian (both men and women) who were just after visa's.

We all know of exceptions, but in the large majority of cases, young attractive women are usually with older men for two reasons and two reasons only.
Money or
Security.

The visa thing would come under Security.

I'd Be telling him that you won't be granting him a divorce for five years and see how quickly she buggers off into the sunset when there isn't a marriage on the cards

Yes. Maintain your dignity, but at the same time don't go out of your way to make things easy for them

OP - just want to say it sounds like you are doing wonderfully,

The comments made to you about you're infertility just show you the type of man he is. I know it doesn't seem like it but if those are his true colours then you are well rid of him,

They're not married (thankfully).

I have gone on Etsy and bought some jewellery, Bestie says she's a mumnset convert after reading this thread! I can't afford the rent on my own but I've never really liked this flat will take the hit and downsize

Yep he's in cloud cuckoo land if he thinks they are so in love and she is so in to him, when she hasn't even let him move in with her.

Nothing useful to add op. What a knobber. Be strong. X

I think it's weird that he has to go and stay with his mate as quickly as tonight. You'd think they would at least have shacked up over the weekend if it's all as lovey-dovey as he claims.

I bet she has plans for tonight and she doesn't want some old guy from work cramping her style.

I think he's going to get a rude awakening very soon.

I've never known anyone in a flat share who can't have overnight visitors for a night or two. There is something dodgy there probably she's got cold feet

I meant to say- even in shared houses it's common for a friend or boyfriend to be there at the weekend, at least it was in my day.

Ooh x-post whine

I lived in shared houses (in ye olden days) where boyfriends and girlfriends were irritatingly ever present.

Wow. He could be whining way sooner than my predicted 'few months'. My heart bleeds for him 😉

Living in London I've lived in houseshares a-plenty and the gf/bfs are always there, especially at weekends.

She's fucked him off already. He's raging cos he looks like a mug and he'll be aiming all of his ire at you, OP.

He's a mug. Mug, mug, mug, mug, MUG.

Strong chance the shared house already contains her boyfriend I reckon.

For various reasons, I've never lived in a flat share. I always envied my friends who did though - always enjoyed staying over at theirs. I have happy memories of kitchen silliness and general jolly japes.

SchnitzelVonKrumm
With the very low tum

Sorry, as you were

Ha. Anna Boleynskaya.

Don't think about her, OP. Sounds like she's horrified that he is now available. I'll bet he's given her the old "I just had to be with you" rather than "Marilyn has booted my arse out the door". And she is less then impressed with this. Clearly they never had the setting up home together conversation in their relationship.

One thing about this friend of his. This friend may not be telling you the truth - he may have known for ages and is too ashamed to say anything. So just be careful in confiding anything to him.

Op you are doing amazing and this time next year will be a transformation to how you feel right now I am sure. I am grinning wickedly at the thought of him being dumped by the Russian so bloody fast. Muhahahaha!

He was splashing the cash on her so was probably happy to enjoy the fling, doesn't mean she wants him long term!

decide what you want to do with regards to moving and let him stew.