Mystery earrings

[MarilynMonsoon]

Not sure where else to get advice for this.

DP works away sometimes, we've not had trust issues before and I'm usually happy to wave him off. He was in a hotel for two night midweek this week and nothing out of the ordinary behaviour wise prior to that.

Was going through some of his packing to tidy up/sort laundry - not snooping I have to add, I've never felt he might be doing anything behind my back, but in his wash bag I found a pair of earrings that aren't mine. They are not a gift because I don't have pierced ears.

Since his return he's been affectionate and normal if a bit glued to his phone, but he does a lot of work on it so again not out of the ordinary.

I feel really confused, I've never had a reason not to trust him but I can't shake the sight of those earrings. Returned them to bag but took a pic on my phone. What do I do?

I bet the Russian wants a UK passport more than she wants a baby.

In fact she's so pretty from what I remember .....

She's pretty; YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL. Pretty fades; beauty's forever. Trust me. I know the territory; I've been around ......

Karma will catch up with them, sooner than expected and bite them in the f**king arse. By which time, you'll be so past caring that you won't give a shit.

Stay strong. Lots of great things to come for you.

S xxx

What a bastard. You will look back at this and breathe a sigh of relief. In the mean time ...sending lots of love and strength X

If she wanted a UK passport she would have invited him to live with her. I bet she doesn't want him at all. It's one thing to enjoy secretive dinners, attention and the thrill of someone else's partner, it's quite another when the dickhead decides he wants you to have his babies and be his cheated on partner.

If she's (and I'm not assuming she is) mercenary enough to target a man for a better life and the guarantee not to have to return home then being as beautiful as the op describes, well educated, decent job... She's not going to settle for a poor man who needs to get a secret credit card to pay for dinners. She'll find someone who can afford her because she'll have the attributes to get a man who can.

OP, he's just left his life for this woman yet she hasn't even given him the option of staying with her. Instead he's having to stay with a friend.

Surely if they were that in love and planning a future he would've gone straight to hers

I hope you're not dropping his stuff off anywhere . He will have to make arrangements to pick it up.

The minute he dipped his cock in another woman is the minute you stop doing anything for him.

He's totally gutless. Threatening you with harassment if you go near the OW. How utterly heartless. None of us know what is truly going on with the Ow. Perhaps she knows more than you think.

Time to focus on you! Keep your friends close at what is a obviously a very difficult time.

It must be so hard trying to reconcile with the fact this is not the man you knew and love/d. He didn't deserve you and his cruelty now only highlights that. Stay strong xxx

Am I the only one who'd drop his stuff off early, at work?

Sparkling that jumped out at me too. If she hasn't offered him a place to stay , having his babies looks slightly doubtful.

"He won't be able to stay with a friend for ever. If she was madly in love with him she would have taken him immediately in.,He will not be able to afford champagne dinners indefinitely. He has revealed his true self to you. You are so much better than him."

Yup, this - how come hes not staying with her? Theres a world of difference between "exciting luxury dinners" and "I've come to live with you! I expect my dinner at 7, and heres my dirty pants for you to wash".

Perhaps she is also in an existing relationship...

Thinking of you Marilyn, tough times!

It's a crime. How could a beautiful Labrador NOT win ? .

OP, you'll be fine. It hurts, and it will for a while, but you've done nothing wrong.

Presumably he won't have much cash to flash around soon. I wonder if Olga will stick around, particularly as he is distinctly average.

His mate has been round to get some of this things, awkward and painful convo left me confused. He says DP is staying with him for the foreseeable but he didn't seem that happy about it, he said he'd never mentioned wanting kids to him before.

He says DP is raging bc From Russia With Love lives in a shared house and he can't move in with her, that I am being 'totally unreasonable' chucking him out with nowhere to go. I must admit I texted him after saying I wasn't unreasonable, I assumed he'd move in with his fancy piece but no reply.

Friend gave me a big hug and said none of our friends could understand why he'd done this to me, they all seem to think it's some midlife crisis. I said he,d left with the parting shot of my being infertile and he looked really embarrassed.

I also told him about the double life nature of it, his new credit card and everything, he just seemed dounbfounded, said 'this isn't the bloke I know'

Interesting that the Russian has already moved him onto his mates house.

Pp are quite correct, this is NOT what she signed up for and I suspect she is 100% freaking out as to how she can back out of this asap.

Meanwhile you can sit back and watch him squirm with your head held high, as you have behaved like an absolute stone-cold stormtrooper throughout. Revenge is indeed a dish best served cold.

Seriously stop texting him. Block his number and leave him to it. Nothing drives a man mad more than silence. Every time you text him you feed his ego, feed his drama, position yourself as an object of his derision and give your power away.

The guy has just thrown you away for a woman who doesn't want him. Let him learn that in silence... Then leave him to regret.

You are right Hilda but a nasty part of me couldn't help the dig that he's not shacked up with her already in baby-making bliss

He will come unstuck very quickly . I doubt his mate is willing to host twat and Russian . Twat can't stay at Russian's gaff , which only leaves hotels (or the back seat of his car) .

What a bastard, his parting shot was beyond craven, it was outright cruel.
People like him reap what they sow.

Please, please, please don't fall for the almost inevitable sob story he'll come to you with when he realises quite how massively he's fucked himself over.

It's already coming apart at the seams.
I'd help by putting the rest of his stuff in an unsealed box (unsealed, in case security need to check it out) & dropping it off at his works early monday morning.
I'd add a few 'extra' items, too...