Mystery earrings

[MarilynMonsoon]

Not sure where else to get advice for this.

DP works away sometimes, we've not had trust issues before and I'm usually happy to wave him off. He was in a hotel for two night midweek this week and nothing out of the ordinary behaviour wise prior to that.

Was going through some of his packing to tidy up/sort laundry - not snooping I have to add, I've never felt he might be doing anything behind my back, but in his wash bag I found a pair of earrings that aren't mine. They are not a gift because I don't have pierced ears.

Since his return he's been affectionate and normal if a bit glued to his phone, but he does a lot of work on it so again not out of the ordinary.

I feel really confused, I've never had a reason not to trust him but I can't shake the sight of those earrings. Returned them to bag but took a pic on my phone. What do I do?

Can you be out? Or have some company with you? I'm so sorry to read this thread. He sounds absolutely horrible. Not sure I'd want to put myself in the firing line of any more unpleasantness to be honest...

X-post

What an absolutely arsehole, attempting to justify his cheating because you haven't been able to get pregnant yet! I'm willing to bet that fact had nothing at all to do with his decision to stick his knob in this silly woman, but he feels needs to mitigate his fuckwittery.

Refuse to do any "House talks" unless theyre in writing so you can use them as evidence later if you need to.

As much as you want more details, don't ask and don't seek them out. You'll simply use the information to torture yourself. You also want to remain dignified in this situation.

At this point, as others have said, you simply need time to be angry, grieve, and figure out the way forward. You'd only need to talk to him if he was desperately sorry and seeking forgiveness/reconciliation - which he clearly is not.

I'm sorry you're going through this. It is awful to be so completely deceived and betrayed. But the 'good' part is that your finances are not deeply mixed and you don't have a family to consider. It should make the break less complicated and final with no ongoing issues to keep you in each other's lives. It will give you a clean slate to start a new life for yourself when you feel ready.

Ah OP the absolute wankerbastard. Think you have dodged a bullet. If you had had dcs he would have used the you are tired/fat/more interested in the baby bollocks.

I hope she is in other relationships as well and has been using him for his credit card. See how keen she is when he starts spending within his means or his means reaches its limit.

I will give it 3 months before he is grovelling to come back.

I know it's not easy to see now lass, but you've had a bloody lucky escape. If he can be like this now and talk such insulting shit then you're well rid.

Onwards. Leave the shit for brains in the gutter and you go shine lass.

Do you have an iPhone? If so you can block his number. Don't allow this cruel fucking moron to continue trying to soothe his guilt by telling you you're to blame. You could never be to blame for this. What a truly awful cunt.

You don't have to meet him to talk through the house etc. That would be incredibly painful. You could set up an email account just for this and then sorting out your property etc when it's done can be shut down on email and kept separate to your normal email address.

Please please please throw some of his stuff in the bin. He deserves nothing less. I'm speechless at his behaviour.

I would reply with "thank god we didn't have a kid. They'd have to deal with all this too".

He wants his cock ripped off and to be slapped around the face with it what a pig he is

what ItsNachoCheese said...

Be interesting to see how long the OW puts up with him. She's had 4/6 months of being wined and dined in posh hotels with champagne. Now he's turned up with his suitcases wanting her to have his babies

Bet that's not what she signed up for when she started shagging him

How awful, Op. Remember, it's how manipulators operate to blame their victim for what they did. That's what he is trying to do with you. It's his fault 100%.

It's quite telling that the cheating twat is staying with his friend and hasn't moved in with Miss Moscow

"He's wining and dining her with a credit card."
"His credit will run out eventually."
Shockers

^^ yup yup. With bells on.

she'll move onto someone who doesn't need a credit card...

I wonder if the affair is known at his work, and if so, if it could make things tricky for the both of them with colleagues/boss.

Lets hope so Earlybird

He's texted asking me not to drop his stuff off at work early, I don't know if that means everyone there knows or no one does

As a previous poster said, he's just a low calibre man. I also was married to one (who did the same), and when the scales fell it did make me feel I was a bad judge of character. Please don't feel that way at all; you trusted because you're a decent person and assumed he was also.

You can't see it now but I PROMISE you'll be looking back thankful you were young enough to start over with someone not weak-
but a kind, strong person.

I'd drop his stuff off at her door and offer her good luck with the baby making. Since she wants him that bad...

He's texted asking me not to drop his stuff off at work early

Did you say you were going to drop his stuff off at work early?

He won't be able to stay with a friend for ever. If she was madly in love with him she would have taken him immediately in.,He will not be able to afford champagne dinners indefinitely. He has revealed his true self to you. You are so much better than him.

What did the waxwork do? And I think you should have your own 'guess the weight of the fur baby' competition, I'd enter. You sound like a right laugh. I would imagine it's not going to take him long to realise he is missing something very special.

Sorry alternative I was replying to earlybird but don't know how to do the name thing