Mystery earrings

[MarilynMonsoon]

Not sure where else to get advice for this.

DP works away sometimes, we've not had trust issues before and I'm usually happy to wave him off. He was in a hotel for two night midweek this week and nothing out of the ordinary behaviour wise prior to that.

Was going through some of his packing to tidy up/sort laundry - not snooping I have to add, I've never felt he might be doing anything behind my back, but in his wash bag I found a pair of earrings that aren't mine. They are not a gift because I don't have pierced ears.

Since his return he's been affectionate and normal if a bit glued to his phone, but he does a lot of work on it so again not out of the ordinary.

I feel really confused, I've never had a reason not to trust him but I can't shake the sight of those earrings. Returned them to bag but took a pic on my phone. What do I do?

This is truely shocking and low. Your better off without him in your life.

Remember most men are good people and only the monority are lowlife !

I'm so angry for you, OP....I think he's about to find out exactly how challenging and feisty you really are.

And I bet colleague wasn't counting on having DC with him and will now run a mile.

Hope you aren't too hungover - loved the Anne Boleyn comment! Fuck him. Fucking piece of shit.

22 years ago at 17 I was that feisty challenging younger woman. My world fell to pieces the day he told me hed left her. Literally, to this day I can remember thinking 'oh fuck, I'm stuck with you now. Instantly he didn't seem sexy, just narried and not particularly hot in any way. All I'd wanted was a shag with an older bloke and someone to buy me stuff ( I was 17, don't judge lol). I ended up in a 14 year very very unhappy EA relationship with him which I finally got out of 8 years ago. I always felt his first wife was the winner and my unhappy abusive marriage was my payback for my hideous behaviour at 17. I'm sure at the time his wife felt just like you do now but hopefully one day you will look at this like the lucky escape it is. You rock, hope the head isn't too sore this morning.

The fertility is something he is using.

If you had a bad leg/hip he would have used that as an excuse.

If you worked 60 hours a week, he would have used that.

If you sat on your arse all day/night he would have used that.

Hes shifting the blame. Arsehole.

Let him get on with it

Hey OP, just checking in. Hope your feeling as good as can be this morning. Note I said as good as can be, because your not going to be feeling ok.
I too have been shit on in the past. I was engaged, with my fiancé for 4 and a half years, and he dumped me by text message, for another girl. Completely out of the blue. I never saw or heard from him again after that text message. To this day, 8 years later I've never had an explanation why.
Things will be tough at the moment, and only time will heal.
P.S he sounds a right bunny boiler, wanting a son with the office shag that he's only been shagging for past few months. She's going to run for the hills! I mean, who even thinks like that?
All the best for today.

DIS BITCH AINT ANNE FUCKING BOLEYN LOvE

OP, you're brilliant.

Fuck him, the fertility thing is not why he did this. He did it because he's a cuntweasel.

DIS BITCH AINT ANNE FUCKING BOLEYN LOvE

I am writing this in my journal for future reference.

He is losing the best thing that ever happened to him.

You are absolutely ace love.

I'd send but you'd probably bitch slap them out of my hand and I'd probably high five you for doing so.

What Tupperware said. This isn't about your fertility problems.

It's about HIM and his massive sense of entitlement.

This is NOT your fault.

Op - wow what an absolute bastard he his! You seem very strong well done for confronting him and making him leave! Hope you are ok xxx

Omfg, he is a piece of work.
His reaction last night is despicable.
These things are rarely black and white, but in this case ... well actually I am lost for words.
Take care, you must be in huge shock

Get rid. He will only do it again.
And he will do the same with whoever he eventually impregnates.

Op I hope you're feeling ok (hangover wise) this morning. Lots of water....

I'm sorry you're having to go through this. Stay strong.

We all wish him bad karma on your behalf. And you ain't boring! That Anne Boleyn comment made me laugh.

What an absolute piece of shit OP. The cheating is bad enough but to try to throw it back on you - wow. That is unbelievably low. Please DO NOT blame yourself, whatever happens. Believe me, you are much better off without this utter cock.

Checking in, feel beyond dreadful. Thanks all for being so nice my friend is still here and will be throughout the day in case he tries to come back for his stuff

I keep hitting little walls, like I want to be strong and decisive but I just keep standing still in the middle of the room

He's a complete knob!! He's trying to blame you to justify what he had done and can't handle the guilt.

DO NOT blame yourself for any of this, it's his weakness that has made this happen and absolutely nothing to do with you.

You are grieving and it will take a while to accept, you will go through a roller coaster of emotions and want to take him back at some point probably.... even if you did (strongly recommend you don't) it wouldn't work, you can never trust him again.

My advice (got the tee shirt with this subject) get finances in order asap, stay OFF the booze completely ....this just adds to the rollercoaster of highs and lows and messes with your head you need to stay in an even keel best you can. Get plenty of exercise and surround yourself with great friends and family.... you will get yourself on track bit by bit.
Remember you will go through the grieving process and you need to allow yourself to feel all the emotions In order to heal. Consider Counceling if taking to friends isn't enough.
Good luck with everything, big hug you will come out the other side stronger than before x

I really really recommend staying off the booze, friends will try to push this on you but it won't help you at all, it just result in more lows x

You are in shock honey, go for a walk if you can it will burn off some nervous energy, sorry if this advice sounds unconventional but it's the stuff that really helped me after wanker husband did this to me when our child was 6 months old and our 18 year relationship down the pan. Good luck honey

Really sorry to read what you're going through. Even if the fertility issue is genuinely a problem for him it doesn't justify cheating or even lying and telling you that he's OK with it.

You say he was cheated on by his previous partner? Are you certain it wasn't the other way round, he sounds quite a prolific liar!

While it must hurt like hell to have been betrayed like this it's as well that you found out now before you wasted any more of your life on the loser.

This is entirely on him.

He used what would hurt you most to blame you for his despicable behaviour to deflect from what he has done. He wants you to internalize it and blame yourself. Don't. This is entirely on him.

Bag his stuff up and text him once to tell him you're putting it outside. You have nothing to say to him. And make sure you have access to money so your bills get paid.

He's been the Dick here ! The fertility was just anger. Don't focus on that !

Sorry for posting last night when I was nineteen sheets to the wind it was all a bit much and needed somewhere to vent before my gf got here

She can't believe it, said he's literally the last person in the world she though would cheat, he took everyone in :(