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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Mystery earrings

999 replies

MarilynMonsoon · 23/06/2017 13:33

Not sure where else to get advice for this.

DP works away sometimes, we've not had trust issues before and I'm usually happy to wave him off. He was in a hotel for two night midweek this week and nothing out of the ordinary behaviour wise prior to that.

Was going through some of his packing to tidy up/sort laundry - not snooping I have to add, I've never felt he might be doing anything behind my back, but in his wash bag I found a pair of earrings that aren't mine. They are not a gift because I don't have pierced ears.

Since his return he's been affectionate and normal if a bit glued to his phone, but he does a lot of work on it so again not out of the ordinary.

I feel really confused, I've never had a reason not to trust him but I can't shake the sight of those earrings. Returned them to bag but took a pic on my phone. What do I do?

OP posts:
ohfourfoxache · 24/06/2017 00:00

What an absolute cuntweasel Angry

I'm so, so sorry Thanks

GlitteryFluff · 24/06/2017 00:01

Oh I'm so sorry Flowers

mydietstartsmonday · 24/06/2017 00:13

Cunt

mydietstartsmonday · 24/06/2017 00:14

Sorry that's the best I can do. He is a first rate cunt. To throw that in your face - CUNT

PossibiliTea · 24/06/2017 00:20

What an absolute arsehole you deserve so much better Wine

WhingyNinja · 24/06/2017 00:24

Don't you EVER blame yourself OP.

Your post about him finding out how challenging you are in the morning was excellent, hold onto that anger and give it to him with both barrels.

How dare he blame this on your fertility, that's the lowest of the low.

I hope he realises this challenging colleague of his will no longer be interested now he's been found out, dumped and kicked out.

She will bolt when she finds out he just wants to knock her up! The fancy dinners won't be worth that useless piece of shit clinging onto her for emotional support anymore.

Stay strong WineBrewCake

debbs77 · 24/06/2017 00:27

You are so much better without him! So pleased you found out what he is like before you started adopting or anything.

I'd do that anyway. You don't need him. Just you and a beautiful child that you can mean the world to!

indigox · 24/06/2017 00:28

I couldn't believe he'd cheat, he was cheated on by his ex and said he could never put anyone else through that.

My ex said this ALL the time, whenever I doubted a story it was always "I'd never cheat, I know how it feels, I wouldn't do that to you" and of course, he was, with someone younger he works with. It's always the same. They're cunts, and we're better off without them.

tararabumdeay · 24/06/2017 00:55

My DH cheated from the day we met. He told me about the amazing sex he had with a very attractive woman compared to me. The script to belittle me.

We had a child. He left me in hospital for a week to go back to his friends.

He got a job, spent every night and every penny down the pub; abused me if I asked for anything.

Sat by his death bed twice.

Now he's here and nothing much has changed except my attitude.

Bluebelle38 · 24/06/2017 03:35

What a weasel. As others have said, he is not the man you knew. Remind yourself of how he came home from the trip and was normal and affectionate. This isn't about you. He is using the fertility as an excuse because he was caught.

He doesn't deserve you. Am so sorry you are hurting x

user1497997754 · 24/06/2017 05:51

Hope you managed to get some sleep......the property you live in is it rented or mortgaged and could you cover the outgoings on this property by yourself

WotcherHarry · 24/06/2017 06:01

Thinking of you, OP. X

LittleBooInABox · 24/06/2017 06:14

Take his stuff. Black bag it. Drop it at work Monday morning addressed to the OW. It'll give you satisfaction and let the whole office know.

Hugs OP

HotelEuphoria · 24/06/2017 06:44

This has really upset me. The poor OP. The conception is bollocks spouted out by a cornered rat. If this woman was going to give him a son and he cared about you he would have left you, not subjected you to this.

He has turned it around so deflect the blame. I am outraged.

I would also walk into that office Monday morning with his clothes and the earrings and everyone would know about their sordid affair.

JustMumNowNotMe · 24/06/2017 07:02

Why do they always try to blame their wife for their inability to keep their cock in their pants?!

I'm so sorry OP, well done for asking him to leave. You deserve so much better Flowers

tillytown · 24/06/2017 07:32

Flowers He is a pathetic, spineless, disgusting dickhead! How dare he try to blame you.

iwannapuppy · 24/06/2017 07:40

I doubt this other woman will stick around now she realises the thrill of an affair is over and she is going to be tied down with an older man who wants to get her pregnant! Hopefully your arsewipe husband will be left very sad and very alone, and the OW will have this happen back to her one day. Plus once the rest of their office finds out what they have done they will lose professional credibility and be looked down on by everyone. Stay strong OP xx

munchkinmaster · 24/06/2017 07:53

Yes, young challenging office girls likes a secret rendezvous. She will run a mile if he says baby to her. Jokes on him

Lovegaultier · 24/06/2017 08:00

Does this challenging interesting feisty young girl know he wants her to produce a son for him? Hopefully she will tell him where to go.

Be prepared for him to come crawling back to you with his tail between his legs at some stage (took my ex 9 months.)

Rioja123 · 24/06/2017 08:02

So sorry to hear that. Hope you have some good friends who can get you through.

GeekyWombat · 24/06/2017 08:06

Hi Marilyn just catching up on your thread this morning. I'm sorry your husband has turned out to be such a Grade A cheating twat. You deserve better.

I hope you got some sleep and your friend coming yesterday was helpful. Good luck for today.

On a side point, pissed, upset and reeling from shock and you still manage a crack about Anne Boleyn? You are my hero!

Monkeypuzzle32 · 24/06/2017 08:12

What a bastard, I hope fate has something in store for him for the fertility comment-that is the lowest thing I've heard for a long time! Go and see a solicitor as soon as you can, do all the evidence gathering the finances now whilst you've kicked him out.
What a hateful human for saying that!

Flisspaps · 24/06/2017 08:16

He's a fucking arsebadger.

You my love, are brilliant, and this is quite possibly the best line of the thread

DIS BITCH AINT ANNE FUCKING BOLEYN LOvE

I think he's about to be hit by a challenge he never expected - keep that line in your head throughout whatever comes next.

MistyMean · 24/06/2017 08:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

caringdenise009 · 24/06/2017 08:20

Marilyn, I'm so sorry he is putting you through this. Trying to conceive with you while simultaneously deceiving you. Nice.

You are undoubtedly in for a rough time in the next few months but I have no doubt that anyone who can come up with your comment about Anne Boleyn while very pissed and in emotional agony will be fine eventually. Hold onto your anger(and remember CatherineofAragon came out of things quite well considering what happened to the others in the parade).

Bastard not worthy of you.