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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Mystery earrings

999 replies

MarilynMonsoon · 23/06/2017 13:33

Not sure where else to get advice for this.

DP works away sometimes, we've not had trust issues before and I'm usually happy to wave him off. He was in a hotel for two night midweek this week and nothing out of the ordinary behaviour wise prior to that.

Was going through some of his packing to tidy up/sort laundry - not snooping I have to add, I've never felt he might be doing anything behind my back, but in his wash bag I found a pair of earrings that aren't mine. They are not a gift because I don't have pierced ears.

Since his return he's been affectionate and normal if a bit glued to his phone, but he does a lot of work on it so again not out of the ordinary.

I feel really confused, I've never had a reason not to trust him but I can't shake the sight of those earrings. Returned them to bag but took a pic on my phone. What do I do?

OP posts:
annielouise · 23/06/2017 23:14

What an utter bastard. You've cornered him so he's lashed out at you. Arse. You're better than him and deserve better than him.

He has no morals or integrity whatsoever. Just remember that. Not good dad material for anyone. So sorry.

MarilynMonsoon · 23/06/2017 23:15

He was so angry but when it was clear he was cornered he just collapsed, maybe I have been unfair I knew he always wants h
Kids but he said it was ok I couldn't have then

OP posts:
user1494187262 · 23/06/2017 23:16

You have us
Many of us have been there
None of us thought our DH would cheat
Many more will walk in our shoes

Imbeingunreasonable · 23/06/2017 23:18

You haven't been unfair op. You've been honest about your infertility. If he had any respect for you he would have said when you found out about it that his desire for kids is too great. Not string you along all the while looking for someone else to start a family with. Please don't make out that you've been unfair. You really haven't

user1486956786 · 23/06/2017 23:18

God it sickens me on threads like these how you read of someone's life changing in less than 12 hours. Is your friend with you now?

Imbeingunreasonable · 23/06/2017 23:19

You have us
Many of us have been there
None of us thought our DH would cheat
Many more will walk in our shoes

A sad thought isn't it?

DoloresAbernathy · 23/06/2017 23:21

Well what a fucking gutless arsehole.

For you op Flowers

Elledouble · 23/06/2017 23:21

Shit, I'm sorry, mate. What a prize cunt.

I know it doesn't feel like it now, but things will be ok again one day. When my ex husband left me for the OW I genuinely thought I would die from the pain. But things are much better now, and they will be for you too.

MarilynMonsoon · 23/06/2017 23:23

Apparently he believes she'll give him a son DIS BITCH AINT ANNE FUCKING BOLEYN LOvE

OP posts:
MarilynMonsoon · 23/06/2017 23:24

Friend here, thank you al for your support

OP posts:
MineKraftCheese · 23/06/2017 23:24

@MarilynMonsoon you're brilliant. What a total twat he is

MineKraftCheese · 23/06/2017 23:24

And a misogynistic one.

RippleEffects · 23/06/2017 23:27

I never believed people who said they didn't have a clue, until I didn't have a clue. Felt like a real fool. Oh I was plain and boring too, charming the excuses for such bad behaviour.

Tis shit.

Years on, I'm way better off but it takes time and working through the pain to rediscover yourself.

WineGin

blue2014 · 23/06/2017 23:31

He's lying - this is fuck all to do with fertility. Fuck all. He just can't keep it in his fuckin pants. Prick.

I hope she is as challenging as he thinks she is. I know those kind of relationships. They'll both end up very very unhappy. I promise you this.

Fucking prick.

You'll do better than him love ❤️- you will.

I can't wait for him to end up an miserable unhappy prick. Oh and let him impregnate her if he wants, then she can unhappy too. Because he's clearly a selfish twat, he will make a shit husband and a shit dad. You are well rid

Xxx

Imbeingunreasonable · 23/06/2017 23:36

I don't get how he's been seeing this woman for 4 months and decided he wants a baby with her. I mean seriously? 4 fucking months to decide someone's worthy of taking on a huge commitment with? The mind boggles.

OP make sure you give these two cretins your version of feisty and challenging

Zoflorabore · 23/06/2017 23:37

So bloody sorry op. Seems someone has an obsession with getting a son? What if he ever does have kids and has a daughter? Is he going to give her back?

What a total disgrace of a man to cheat and then use you as the excuse. There are many crappy excuses for cheating but that one takes the piss.

Be kind to yourself op, know your worth.
You deserve so much better than this creature.
I think you sound amazing, keep on being you and make his life hell.

Hope you gets lots of support and make sure you take some tablets before bed for your head xx

ImaLannister · 23/06/2017 23:37

It is completely unforgivable that he threw the 'unable to conceive' card at you on his way out. Like, as if that's even your fault? And to say it when he was leaving suggests he was blaming you for him cheating.
Fuck him and his fuckin sorry arse. Let him shag the office girl shag. Things won't be challenging for long. Honeymoon period soon ends.
Hope your ok and your friend can give you some comfort. Have your wine.

MrsChopper · 23/06/2017 23:40

What a fuckmuppet Flowers

valeriej43 · 23/06/2017 23:41

So sorry for what you are going through, i think the excuse he gave you was to make himself feel less guilty, so he has blamed the affair on your inability to conceive
I dont think for a minute he will have a baby with the girl from work,or even intends to, and if he does,i wonder if SHE knows
I hope you caneventually get over the lying scumbag, and find someone worthy of you

WhiskyIrnBru · 23/06/2017 23:42

Op, I've nothing to say that'll be of any help but stay strong. The bastard doesn't deserve to see you crumble Flowers what an utter shit. This isn't your fault it's his. So angry for you.

magoria · 23/06/2017 23:44

Well he will find out the hard way how independent and challenging she is when they have a baby, sleepless nights, shitty nappies and the normal every day relationship and all that comes with it.

Stupid, selfish nasty prick.

He would blame your having a child and not making time for him if you did. Or something else. Anything but his selfish needs.

In a way it is lucky you don't have a child to tie you to this sleaze bag.

skyzumarubble · 23/06/2017 23:48

What a cunt. I hope your friends can support you op FlowersWineWine

Allabitmuchisntit · 23/06/2017 23:54

What an absolute fucking twat.
He's the boring one - he's a fucking walking cliche.
Cunt.
Get your revenge by leaving him in your dust and being gloriously happy without him.
Did I mention he's a cunt? A boring, unoriginal, massive cunt.

user1486956786 · 23/06/2017 23:55

The fertility thing is nothing, I hope you know that. Please don't believe him for one second. He's just using that as his excuse/reason because you are so bloody great he has no reason other than he cannot keep it in his pants. He's just trying to turn it back on you and off himself. Glad your friend is with you now xx

IamAporcupine · 23/06/2017 23:58

what a shit
his cheating has fuck all to do with any fertility issues and he knows that
Flowers