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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

H has taken son away

243 replies

ElCorazin · 18/06/2017 23:09

My (d)h had taken my son away without my consent. As he (h) is working a night shift he has taken him to stay with a school friend. I called said school friend's mother and she refused to discuss with me.

My h is controlling and emotionally abuse even and uses DS to threaten me. I am unwell with depression and taking medication, my depression (made a whole lot worse by dreadful relationship and lack of support).

H says to me that I am 'unfit' to look after DS and he has now done this. The reason being I have been in bed and crying today and more or less begging him to show me some love & support, to no avail.

Surely this woman cannot hold my son against my wishes? God only knows what tale H spun her about my so called 'mental illness'... he also told me he called mental health services to 'get me help' earlier.

He does this in a threatening and menacing way, not out of any genuine care for me. He stands over me and shouts 2 in from my face YOU. NEED. HELP.

I'm scared and utterly desperate that he's taken my son away and humiliated he's involved a school family like this.

I have called the police & am waiting for them to contact me. I have never invoked and services before but feel he has crossed a red line now Sad

OP posts:
Bubblesagain · 19/06/2017 01:43

With the sleeping tablets she suggested half a sleeping pill to help her get to sleep not to neck a handful and overdose as your suggesting.
Two wrongs doesn't make a right.

whattodowiththepoo · 19/06/2017 01:43

Bleurghghghgh You really need to get a grip.

Orangebird69 · 19/06/2017 01:45

Bleurgh, wind your neck in. Your posts (and message) towards Norland are far worse than anything else on this thread.

WellThisIsShit · 19/06/2017 01:45

Good Lord, can people calm down, how is any of this helping the OP?

OP, would you consider leaving your husband?

If you are being emotionally abused, it's alot easier to cope, and to shake off any 'she's insane' narratives which are so effective at undermining an abused partner.

Abuse is insidious and the 'she's crazy poor me' stuff is very powerful when you're in its grip. You can't fight it as when you try it provides fodder for the abuser to use against you. And you can't just 'be ok' if you're so undermined and someone is really determined to destabilize you.

It's a self fulfilling prophesy. And you need to break this vicious circle.

Can you get some support or mental health help in the meantime? You need your strength and resilience to get out of an sbhsove relationship.

asprinklingofsugar · 19/06/2017 01:50

Wellthisisshit - OP said in a previous post that when she was talking to the police she reported him for financial and emotional abuse, and they're going to talk to him. Although I'm not too sure what exactly the outcome of that would be. Also, I agree with the rest of your statement.

Bleurghghghgh · 19/06/2017 01:54

Norland chose to post a PM I sent her early in this conversation. the P being important there. She has not helped the OP. She's been destructive and accused her of lying about her mental health on her own thread

And I need to get a grip? ok. Read the whole thread and then judge.

Bleurghghghgh · 19/06/2017 01:58

With the sleeping tablets she suggested half a sleeping pill to help her get to sleep not to neck a handful and overdose as your suggesting.

At what point did i suggest she overdose? I regularly neck a handful of meds to calm myself- thats what I was alluding to. I'm not telling someone on MN to top themselves - if you honestly think I was why on earth would I still be allowed on this forum?!

whattodowiththepoo · 19/06/2017 02:01

"why on earth would I still be allowed on this forum"
Maybe you shouldn't.

BoysofMelody · 19/06/2017 02:02

Some of you need to take a serious look at yourselves.

Says the woman who suggested someone else take an overdose of sleeping pills.

Bleurghghghgh · 19/06/2017 02:04

I didn't

Guepe · 19/06/2017 02:05

OP, if you work, do you have your own bank account that you get paid into? You really shouldn't have your wages going into an account you can't access.

Orangebird69 · 19/06/2017 02:06

So which brand of sleeping pills are perfectly harmless to take in 'handfuls' bleurghghghgh?

Bleurghghghgh · 19/06/2017 02:07

Yes this thread seriously unsettled me because

a) it reminded me of my mum and her sexually abusive ex (guess who got the brunt of that)
b)the same ex being physically abusive to my mum, and me, when I argued

I'm sorry for being horrible. I was caught out by this thread in a way I haven't been for years. I will go through and apologise to everyone separately. But in the mean time I'd request you just leave it. Please.

Guepe · 19/06/2017 02:07

Just ignore bleurghghghgh. It was a very unpleasant comment but clearly there's no remorse or apology forthcoming and it's a big derail.

Guepe · 19/06/2017 02:08

X-post. Let's all leave it now.

BoysofMelody · 19/06/2017 02:08

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Bleurghghghgh · 19/06/2017 02:10

I take 20mg citalopram x2, loprazolam 10mg x2, propranolol 30mg x1, and my pill. judge me :)

whattodowiththepoo · 19/06/2017 02:10

I'm sorry for being horrible.
It seems like you realise you went too far and have admitted it.
You might want to ask mumsnet to delete some of your posts, sorry this brought up so many bad memories. Flowers

Bleurghghghgh · 19/06/2017 02:11

That is a handful of tabs. At least in my hand. But Im sorry for saying that. I dont want to upset people.

Bleurghghghgh · 19/06/2017 02:13

Dw about it or the fact that I said previously I've tried suicide. nvm nvm nvm nvm nvm nvm

ToffeeCake1 · 19/06/2017 02:14

I get your worry and everything but I'm finding it very atrocious how this mother is being described! You've said she's kidnapped your son and I've seen her be called a demon?!? From what I've read she's doing the right thing! Wether you have a mental illness or not (which you've said you have) if a child's father dropped their child off at my house because they were working and felt that the child's mother was mentally unstable and couldn't look after the child then I'd definetly take him in!
Your husband has done a shit thing but From the looks of this the other mother only has your child's safety in mind

Atenco · 19/06/2017 02:14

Whao, Bleugh, what a horrible PM. That is one of the nastiest things I've seen in a long time.

I can understand, OP, why people misunderstood your post. But what is apparent, is that you really need to get away from your husband, for the sake of your mental health and your son.

Good luck tomorrow

MsHooliesCardigan · 19/06/2017 02:15

OP Sorry some people on here have been so horrible to you. Talking about diminished responsibility, asking if the OP has a drug or alcohol problem, saying she can't be bothered to go and get her son, her DH is having an affair and she is not fit to care for her child?!! Some of you are adding 2+2 and making 16. The OP has said repeatedly that she hasn't been in bed crying all day.
OP, I have depression like millions of other parents and it has never stopped me caring for my children.
However, I do agree that it's best to leave your DS where he is for tonight and look at the situation again in the morning. I hope you get some sleep tonight and wish you all the best Flowers

Bleurghghghgh · 19/06/2017 02:15

really? have you seen what she told the OP in earlier posts? because i dont think its worse than that

Bleurghghghgh · 19/06/2017 02:16

equslly ut doesnt matter. i lovrfd this forum but this is the end now. xbye xxx

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