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Original poster

H has taken son away

243 replies

ElCorazin · 18/06/2017 23:09

My (d)h had taken my son away without my consent. As he (h) is working a night shift he has taken him to stay with a school friend. I called said school friend's mother and she refused to discuss with me.

My h is controlling and emotionally abuse even and uses DS to threaten me. I am unwell with depression and taking medication, my depression (made a whole lot worse by dreadful relationship and lack of support).

H says to me that I am 'unfit' to look after DS and he has now done this. The reason being I have been in bed and crying today and more or less begging him to show me some love & support, to no avail.

Surely this woman cannot hold my son against my wishes? God only knows what tale H spun her about my so called 'mental illness'... he also told me he called mental health services to 'get me help' earlier.

He does this in a threatening and menacing way, not out of any genuine care for me. He stands over me and shouts 2 in from my face YOU. NEED. HELP.

I'm scared and utterly desperate that he's taken my son away and humiliated he's involved a school family like this.

I have called the police & am waiting for them to contact me. I have never invoked and services before but feel he has crossed a red line now Sad

OP posts:
LovingLola · 18/06/2017 23:33

But if he is there with his father's consent why would the police get involved?

MVLipwig · 18/06/2017 23:33

It'll be incredibly disruptive and scary for the police to get him now, not to mention what'll get back to his school friends when the friend he's staying with tells them. He's safe where he is, just get him in the morning

Original poster
ElCorazin · 18/06/2017 23:35

Guava, I understand what you say- but I am furious with this woman for effectively kidnapping my son. It's not on. And I have no intention of going and in all likelihood causing a scene and upsetting DS. I would rather the police dealt with it.

OP posts:
Original poster
ElCorazin · 18/06/2017 23:35

Lola, this woman has no parental responsibility and I have not agreed to DS being with her!

OP posts:
Ginorchoc · 18/06/2017 23:37

The Police will likely note this with social services, hopefully you can then get some support. Do you have a family support worker already? The relationship sounds broken down, hopefully you have good support from parents, friends. Def worth a call to woman's aid who can offer support to you also.

Whosthemummynow · 18/06/2017 23:37

Yes because the police would be far less scary and disruptive....

Are you thinking clearly right now.
Your son isn't in danger.
He is asleep.
You can sort this tomorrow. With far less disruption and trauma to your son

LovingLola · 18/06/2017 23:38

Lola, this woman has no parental responsibility and I have not agreed to DS being with her!
But your husband has agreed.

Original poster
ElCorazin · 18/06/2017 23:38

Who's the mummy- I really really hope you never find yourself in this situation. It would be interesting to hear your revised thoughts if you were.

OP posts:
Original poster
ElCorazin · 18/06/2017 23:39

Lola- so?

I have as much say as my h does.
H is at work.
I am at home.
My son is with a stranger.
I want my son with me.

OP posts:
FeckinCrutches · 18/06/2017 23:41

So, just to clarify,
You have been in bed all day crying
Your ex came to pick up you son because of this
He took your son, but due to childcare issues had to leave him with a friend because he had to work

FusionChefGeoff · 18/06/2017 23:41

It would scare the shit out of a 10 year old to be woken up, in a house that's not your home, by the police, at midnight and driven home.

He'd immediately think HE'D done something wrong and it would probably terrify him about staying over anywhere at anytime and cause long term issues.

If you were going to involve the police, it needed to be earlier. Right now, its inappropriate.

Please wait until the morning.

Whosthemummynow · 18/06/2017 23:41

I daresay my view wouldn't change. As my thoughts would be in line with what would be best for my son in this moment.

In this moment he is asleep and safe.
Deal with it in the morning

Original poster
ElCorazin · 18/06/2017 23:41

Er, where is the bit about him being an ex?

We are a married couple.

OP posts:
KeepServingTheDrinks · 18/06/2017 23:41

this woman has no parental responsibility and I have not agreed to DS being with her!

But your DH DOES have parental responsibility, and he HAS agreed to your DS being with her.

I don't see what good it does your son at all to be calling the police at this time on a Sunday night. In fact, nowhere in your OP do I see the interests of your DS at all. Does he like the friend? Is he happy? Does he feel safe? What your DS might want or need isn't mentioned.

I truly hope you get the help and support you want and need, and I wish you all the best.

I hope your DS is ok.

FeckinCrutches · 18/06/2017 23:42

And now you're sending the police to get your son from the lady who is lookin after him?

ArchieStar · 18/06/2017 23:42

If you want him back then for fucks sake go and get him!!! Don't wait for the police to do something because at this time of night they won't, at most they'll go round there, see that he is asleep, safe and well and leave him and request your DH bring him home tomorrow morning or after school.

If that was my DC then I would literally be round there banging the door down to get them back. But that's just me.

Ginorchoc · 18/06/2017 23:42

To be fair, whosthemummy is seeing it from your sons point of view and least disruptive this time of night. If you've called the Police already though they'll need to act. They may ask your husband to leave work or at least contact him.

Whosthemummynow · 18/06/2017 23:42

With a stranger. Really??
Did DH just find her off the street

ArchieStar · 18/06/2017 23:43

I'm on @Whosthemummynow side. Kid will be traumatised if police turn up and demand he goes home now

Original poster
ElCorazin · 18/06/2017 23:43

I have my son's best interests st heart. No one asked him. He was carted off to a friend (not even in his class and doesn't know v well) with a parent clearly gullible enough to believe (doubtless) my husband's lies.

I'll see what the police advise. This woman has no right to keep my son away from me.

OP posts:
FeckinCrutches · 18/06/2017 23:44

She isn't kidnapping your son, your husband left him on her care.

tillytown · 18/06/2017 23:44

OP, maybe ask to have this moved over to relationships?

FlossyMooToo · 18/06/2017 23:45

Wrongly or rightly your husband has felt your son his safer at his friends house.
You have stated yourself you have been in bed crying today. Thats not great for your son to be around.

I would not blame the women as I would imagine if your husband has told her you are not caring for your child she probably thinks she us doing the right thing.

See what tge police say and then take it from there. Maybe you beed to get yourself some support to help you deal with whats going on.

Whosthemummynow · 18/06/2017 23:45

I doubt right now you are thinking clearly, because it's clear you really are not thinking about your son.

What illness kept your son with his grandparents this weekend?

Original poster
ElCorazin · 18/06/2017 23:45

Shit- so it's fine for h to do this to me then?

OP posts: