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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Another Boring Prostitute/Husband one :(

675 replies

wotabastard · 30/05/2017 21:40

Opened H's gmail on his laptop totally innocuously to access mine and low and behold there was an email from u k pun tin a registration email from last Monday = (don't want to link back to that scum) As you can imagine, well, I'm shattered. Two dd's, married 2013, together over 10 years. Did some digging and managed to change his password so I could access his account but there is nothing to be seen, he's not participating in any threads at all.

I was hoping there would be a private messaging thing so I could get some cast iron proof of whatever he's engaging in, but nothing, or am I missing something? I came and did some digging here and read a few threads on the subject, saw someone advising to enter username and adultwork into google, another escort site, to find feedback, so I entered his username for the other site, and he has five positive feedback listed from 2013- April 2016 on there.
His account is not active on there though anymore, so I imagine he can easily bullshit that away, though one of the girls is literally a 10 minute from us, the others all in local cities.

I'm angry I don't have clear and irrefutable proof of communications etc. I want to be able to nail the bastard up to a fucking wall with the evidence when I confront him.

I have taken photos of everything I have found on my phone and will keep them safe until needed.

I logged out of the website I changed the password for and deleted all search history of my snooping. When he tries to log in I doubt he will suspect me, he's likely to brush it off as a glitch or attempted hack or something. He also doesn't know the password to my laptop or phone. Not out of me hiding anything, just well, WE TRUSTED EACH OTHER. What a joke.

We have been having tons of amazing sex recently too. Like, soul joining in love sex. What a dickhead.

Any advice? I'm going to get a full STI exam on Friday morning.

OP posts:
UnicornSparkles1 · 01/06/2017 10:46

Thinking of you x

Joysmum · 01/06/2017 10:49

Personally, I think cold and calculated is better than showing anger and hurt. He broke your vows, you're not interested in anything other than ending the marriage as you didn't sign up for that sort of relationship.

Ranting feeds him and his feelings and much as it is about venting yours. There's outlet for your feelings elsewhere which doesn't feed him. He doesn't deserve that.

user1487175389 · 01/06/2017 10:50

Screenshot. Solicitor. Divorce. In that order.

Don't waste time forgiving him, listening to his sob story, believing his promises to change, it's your life and you'll never be truly happy with him in it.

Orlandointhewilderness · 01/06/2017 11:17

Oh OP. I am so sorry to see this thread. Be strong.

Pandamanda3 · 01/06/2017 11:21

Op im so so sorry your going through this what a complete bastard I hope he gets all that's coming to him.
Karma my dear!
you go girl get that shit right out of your life.
You deserve far far better thinking of you x

BewareOfDragons · 01/06/2017 12:14

So sorry, OP.

At least you know and can hang him with it. There's no denying it.

Good luck.

zurichgnome · 01/06/2017 13:25

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Degustibusnonestdisputandem · 01/06/2017 13:51

Wot, please take post down about his first post on u k p - it's very easy to find and someone on there could give the bastard the heads up.

pigyoinkoinks · 01/06/2017 14:25

I hope you're ok OP FlowersFlowersFlowers

wotabastard · 01/06/2017 16:50

It's done, he's gone. I'm ok, kids are ok, so busy just now will update tonight. Thanks for the support. Really appreciate it.

OP posts:
wotabastard · 01/06/2017 16:51

Brew Flowers

OP posts:
number1wang · 01/06/2017 16:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

RedDahlia · 01/06/2017 16:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CrispPacket · 01/06/2017 17:01

I'm torn between feeling absolutely heartbroken for you and in absolute awe of you. You are fabulous. Stay strong you wonderful woman.

scottishtreehugger · 01/06/2017 17:01

Mumsnet can be awesome sometimes. Well done OP.

daisychainagain · 01/06/2017 17:01

Uchh just read the entire thread. I'm so sorry you are going through this. You are amazing though. Stay strong.

PoorYorick · 01/06/2017 17:02

I'm sorry for all your pain OP, but damn I am in awe of you.

OverlyYappy · 01/06/2017 17:04

Good luck with today Flowers

watchingitallagain · 01/06/2017 17:06

Hope you're ok. Xx

throwawaythekey · 01/06/2017 17:07

What a legend OP! long road ahead but you've been so strong already. It's going to get better for you and the kids.

ExplodingCarrots · 01/06/2017 17:18
Flowers
HollyJollyDillydolly · 01/06/2017 17:20

So sorry he's making you go through this, he's a disgrace.

FuzzyPillow · 01/06/2017 17:30

Flowers you did the right thing. Well done!!

HelenaDove · 01/06/2017 17:38

Get ready for the begging texts from him and when that doesnt work he will try another tack.

Well done OP Thanks

BeingATwatItsABingThing · 01/06/2017 17:38

Well done OP! Flowers