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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Another Boring Prostitute/Husband one :(

675 replies

wotabastard · 30/05/2017 21:40

Opened H's gmail on his laptop totally innocuously to access mine and low and behold there was an email from u k pun tin a registration email from last Monday = (don't want to link back to that scum) As you can imagine, well, I'm shattered. Two dd's, married 2013, together over 10 years. Did some digging and managed to change his password so I could access his account but there is nothing to be seen, he's not participating in any threads at all.

I was hoping there would be a private messaging thing so I could get some cast iron proof of whatever he's engaging in, but nothing, or am I missing something? I came and did some digging here and read a few threads on the subject, saw someone advising to enter username and adultwork into google, another escort site, to find feedback, so I entered his username for the other site, and he has five positive feedback listed from 2013- April 2016 on there.
His account is not active on there though anymore, so I imagine he can easily bullshit that away, though one of the girls is literally a 10 minute from us, the others all in local cities.

I'm angry I don't have clear and irrefutable proof of communications etc. I want to be able to nail the bastard up to a fucking wall with the evidence when I confront him.

I have taken photos of everything I have found on my phone and will keep them safe until needed.

I logged out of the website I changed the password for and deleted all search history of my snooping. When he tries to log in I doubt he will suspect me, he's likely to brush it off as a glitch or attempted hack or something. He also doesn't know the password to my laptop or phone. Not out of me hiding anything, just well, WE TRUSTED EACH OTHER. What a joke.

We have been having tons of amazing sex recently too. Like, soul joining in love sex. What a dickhead.

Any advice? I'm going to get a full STI exam on Friday morning.

OP posts:
SandysMam · 01/06/2017 08:01

Good luck today OP, you are not alone, we are all thinking of you xx

Shayelle · 01/06/2017 08:04

Good luck lovely Flowers

Alwayshungryforcrisps · 01/06/2017 08:13

Good luck SadFlowers

Kittyhello21 · 01/06/2017 08:15

Good luck x

totorosfluffytummy · 01/06/2017 08:24

Hope you managed a good night's sleep. Good luck today! x

SillyMoomin · 01/06/2017 08:31

Good luck op Flowers

Elland · 01/06/2017 08:39

Good luck today OP! I wish you could take a picture of his face when you tell him you know. Flowers

bluediamonds · 01/06/2017 08:40

The way you are dealing with this is awesome!!

You're a very strong lady.

Thinking of you today. Flowers

AdoraBell · 01/06/2017 08:41

Good luck Thanks

user1481271611 · 01/06/2017 08:43

Good luck Flowers

Flowerdew2 · 01/06/2017 08:58

Sending you hugs and said a prayer for you Flowers

ICanEatWhat · 01/06/2017 09:05

Good luck today, keep your calm and don't let him try to excuse his actions Flowers

BeingATwatItsABingThing · 01/06/2017 09:14

OP, I'm so sorry this has happened to you.

Well done for standing up for yourself and for your children. What a slime ball. You're better off without him.

caffelatte100 · 01/06/2017 09:17

I don't understand why men jeopardise everything in this way. He'll be so sorry when confronted, but he should have thought of this before each and every time he was unfaithful. He will make excuses and even blame you.
Stay strong, it's horrible you have to go through this...

2littlemoos · 01/06/2017 09:19

Good luck OP! You got this!

Spottyarm · 01/06/2017 09:26

Before you confront him, have copies of everything you might need should it all go a bit bad, - ID, birth certs, passports, file it all away, or give them to a friend he doesn't know the address of.

TheMightyMing · 01/06/2017 09:32

Jesus That she should have to worry about him turning nasty makes my blood boil. He should be prostrate begging at her feet , the miserable worm.

Good luck OP - you are a strong and inspirational woman and you will get through this x

MooPointCowsOpinion · 01/06/2017 09:34

Give him hell. I feel like confronting my DH just for being male right now, I'm so cross on your behalf!

Hanban16 · 01/06/2017 09:57

Thinking of you today! Stay strong x

CarlottaJo · 01/06/2017 10:07

Thinking of you OP you are so brave

kittybiscuits · 01/06/2017 10:14

Sending you lots of love and strength Flowers

grosseconnasse · 01/06/2017 10:21

Good luck today OP Flowers

KatoPotato · 01/06/2017 10:23

Thinking of you OP Flowers

SeamusMacDubh · 01/06/2017 10:34

Flowers hope today goes better than you're anticipating. It's good to know you've got supportive parents to help you with your DC and the fall out of all this.

peaceout · 01/06/2017 10:45

I think men like this view visiting prostitutes as a hobby, a bit of well deserved indulgence....absolutely chilling to find out that your partner has been blithely living a double life.
Look after yourself op, this must be a huge shock and you'll need time to recover and rebuild