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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Another Boring Prostitute/Husband one :(

675 replies

wotabastard · 30/05/2017 21:40

Opened H's gmail on his laptop totally innocuously to access mine and low and behold there was an email from u k pun tin a registration email from last Monday = (don't want to link back to that scum) As you can imagine, well, I'm shattered. Two dd's, married 2013, together over 10 years. Did some digging and managed to change his password so I could access his account but there is nothing to be seen, he's not participating in any threads at all.

I was hoping there would be a private messaging thing so I could get some cast iron proof of whatever he's engaging in, but nothing, or am I missing something? I came and did some digging here and read a few threads on the subject, saw someone advising to enter username and adultwork into google, another escort site, to find feedback, so I entered his username for the other site, and he has five positive feedback listed from 2013- April 2016 on there.
His account is not active on there though anymore, so I imagine he can easily bullshit that away, though one of the girls is literally a 10 minute from us, the others all in local cities.

I'm angry I don't have clear and irrefutable proof of communications etc. I want to be able to nail the bastard up to a fucking wall with the evidence when I confront him.

I have taken photos of everything I have found on my phone and will keep them safe until needed.

I logged out of the website I changed the password for and deleted all search history of my snooping. When he tries to log in I doubt he will suspect me, he's likely to brush it off as a glitch or attempted hack or something. He also doesn't know the password to my laptop or phone. Not out of me hiding anything, just well, WE TRUSTED EACH OTHER. What a joke.

We have been having tons of amazing sex recently too. Like, soul joining in love sex. What a dickhead.

Any advice? I'm going to get a full STI exam on Friday morning.

OP posts:
josuk · 01/06/2017 00:37

So sorry.
And unfortunately - when you mention the great sex you've been having recently with him - it may be because he was playing around.

Apparently, it happens. There is a great TED talk by a belgian psychotherapist about affairs.
And she says - people report renewed interest in life, senses become heightened, libido increases, etc.
Some people are addicted to that hi.

Sorry again. Good luck tomorrow.
I hope you got all your ducks in the order. MN is full of great advice on that.

janaus · 01/06/2017 02:49

My heart is broken for you.

Be prepared for.....

"It's what men do"

Blame game. "Why were you sneaking around checking. Privacy, etc

Been there done that.

Stay strong.

Tillymintsmama · 01/06/2017 03:01

Glad I'm single.

RhythmAndStealth · 01/06/2017 03:02

Take him to the fucking cleaners OP.

Flowers
saffronwblue · 01/06/2017 03:21

Good luck OP. He won't know what has hit him.

HeartsTrumpDiamonds · 01/06/2017 03:32

"It meant nothing" - so why did you do it?

"I'm so sorry" - no, you're only sorry you got caught.

Flowers OP and continued strength for tomorrow.

PollyCazaletWannabe · 01/06/2017 04:11

Good luck OP. What a cuntweasel he is.

SSYMONDS · 01/06/2017 04:18

I'm so sorry. I think you are incredibly strong and clear headed. Well done for protecting your kids from any drama. Good luck and stay safe

lozengeoflove · 01/06/2017 04:28

OP you are handling this with such class and strength. Wishing it goes as well as it can for you.

peonyinparadise · 01/06/2017 04:41

Sending you strength & sharp as fuck vibes, op.one of these too Biscuit

ChangingStates · 01/06/2017 05:39

Just read this thread, hope you got some sleep. Be tough as hell on him but make sure you take care of yourself too. Flowers

WateryTart · 01/06/2017 05:43

Hope you got some sleep, OP. Stay strong.

Estherdove · 01/06/2017 05:46

Good luck

crazykitten20 · 01/06/2017 06:00

No words strong enough to describe your husband.

You, on the other hand, are a star. A brave incredible woman. I am in awe. FlowersFlowers

Underthemoonlight · 01/06/2017 06:01

Good luck op

JustGettingStarted · 01/06/2017 06:17

How awful for you. I'm so sorry. Sad

choochooo · 01/06/2017 06:39

Sending you a hug OP. Good luck for today Flowers

Rescuepuppydaft2 · 01/06/2017 06:51

Sending prayers for strength for you OP. Please don't feel any shame, tell your parents, the only one who should be ashamed is your pathetic excuse for a husband! Stay strong and don't let him twist things to sound like they are your fault.

Mrsfloss · 01/06/2017 06:53

Stay strong OP

Been there with fetlife and eventually got rid but wasn't as calm and cool as you!FlowersCakeBrew

somewhereovertherain · 01/06/2017 06:54

Good luck.

Scrumptiousbears · 01/06/2017 06:57

Good luck today.

MartinaMartini · 01/06/2017 06:57

You're being amazingly strong. Good luck later Flowers

purplecoathanger · 01/06/2017 07:09

Just to say how sorry I am that your dick of a DH has treated you so badly. You just don't know what someone is really like, even when you're married to them. Flowers

ddssdd · 01/06/2017 07:20

Keep your strength and resolve Flowers

pimmsy · 01/06/2017 07:58

You're a strong woman OP! flowers]