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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Another Boring Prostitute/Husband one :(

675 replies

wotabastard · 30/05/2017 21:40

Opened H's gmail on his laptop totally innocuously to access mine and low and behold there was an email from u k pun tin a registration email from last Monday = (don't want to link back to that scum) As you can imagine, well, I'm shattered. Two dd's, married 2013, together over 10 years. Did some digging and managed to change his password so I could access his account but there is nothing to be seen, he's not participating in any threads at all.

I was hoping there would be a private messaging thing so I could get some cast iron proof of whatever he's engaging in, but nothing, or am I missing something? I came and did some digging here and read a few threads on the subject, saw someone advising to enter username and adultwork into google, another escort site, to find feedback, so I entered his username for the other site, and he has five positive feedback listed from 2013- April 2016 on there.
His account is not active on there though anymore, so I imagine he can easily bullshit that away, though one of the girls is literally a 10 minute from us, the others all in local cities.

I'm angry I don't have clear and irrefutable proof of communications etc. I want to be able to nail the bastard up to a fucking wall with the evidence when I confront him.

I have taken photos of everything I have found on my phone and will keep them safe until needed.

I logged out of the website I changed the password for and deleted all search history of my snooping. When he tries to log in I doubt he will suspect me, he's likely to brush it off as a glitch or attempted hack or something. He also doesn't know the password to my laptop or phone. Not out of me hiding anything, just well, WE TRUSTED EACH OTHER. What a joke.

We have been having tons of amazing sex recently too. Like, soul joining in love sex. What a dickhead.

Any advice? I'm going to get a full STI exam on Friday morning.

OP posts:
AnniesShop · 31/05/2017 20:51

Wishing you strength Op. What a lying, scheming bastard he is.
When you're getting your ducks in a row, op, look at where you
want to be and what you and your DC need and work back from that
about how to get it.
And be pitiless, the cheating bastard has forfeited all rights to have
any say in your future.
Flowers

billabye · 31/05/2017 20:54

Oh OP I'm so sorry. What a massive cunt he is Flowers

socialengineering · 31/05/2017 21:17

She lives around the corner? Talk about shitting where you eat huh. What a bell end.

You are being so strategic, I'm very impressed.

Wine
Missb00 · 31/05/2017 22:02

Hope you're doing ok OP Flowers

wotabastard · 31/05/2017 22:08

Well, this nausea is really unpleasant.

Today has been a trial, tomorrow I'm informing him I know everything and I cannot continue in the marriage.

It's kind of been 'the last day' I've tried to make everything good for the kids, he took them for ice cream and spent lots of time with them. We ate a very good meal.

Crazy that Sunday night, Monday morning and night we were having fun, intimate sex with so much eye contact and passion and love like it was two thousand and bloody six. How does he do it?! Never again. Ever. My fanny itches at the thought. Can't wait for the fun times ahead at the clinic on Friday.

How callous, how evil, how much must he despise me to do the full act of a loving partner then rush off to do what he does.

I've no idea what is going to go down tomorrow.

OP posts:
RedastheRose · 31/05/2017 22:17

You've done really well OP. I think lots of people on here who have split up, however it happens, have done the make it a good last day thing. It's extremely brave of you to be able to do that for your DC's. Good luck for tomorrow.

wotabastard · 31/05/2017 22:18

Sorry, I heard him and didn't want him to see me on this.

I've no idea what is going to go down tomorrow.
I don't want an argument, I don't want an explanation, I don't want an apology. I have no time for any of that. I'm not interested in why. Cos he bloody well can, is why. Eh?

I'm so glad I don't drink. I can completely imagine drowning in a bottle if I did. No. I am sober and sharp and fuck him.

This is business and I am ending the contract.

OP posts:
Badgoushk · 31/05/2017 22:22

Good luck with your conversation tomorrow OP. I'm thinking of you.

Badgoushk · 31/05/2017 22:23

He won't know what's hit him!

AnniesShop · 31/05/2017 22:24

They get turned on by the deceit.
Wishing you a good nights sleep and strength op

UnicornSparkles1 · 31/05/2017 22:30

Oh my goodness, I'm sorry. Sending you strength for tomorrow x

ExplodingCarrots · 31/05/2017 22:32

So sorry this is happening to you op Flowers I'm intrigued as to what lame excuses he'll come up with to deny he's done anything. They all do even when confronted with undeniable evidence. Good luck tomorrow.

MissSmiley · 31/05/2017 22:34

Good luck for tomorrow.

HelenaDove · 31/05/2017 22:35

Your H is a Grade A cunt Op.

And you are one strong brave woman Thanks

Im in awe

wotabastard · 31/05/2017 22:35

Thank you @Badgoushk

Well I hope it's been worth it for him @AnniesShop because he's about to enjoy the real, live, sweaty consequences of his deceit, I hope it is thrilling.

He had a few appointments when I was pregnant and one the month she was born. I'm actually still breastfeeding now. What if he has infected her with something?

How he has betrayed the children is so much worse than his betrayal of me.

OP posts:
Whisky2014 · 31/05/2017 22:35

Stay strong! You will be well rid. How dare he treat you this way? Fucker.

MilesHuntsWig · 31/05/2017 22:36

Sorry you're going through this. Hope you find a way through it for you and your DC.

wotabastard · 31/05/2017 22:37

sorry x posted. Thank you everyone sending good vibes.

OP posts:
rainbowlou · 31/05/2017 22:38

I wish I'd had half the strength you have when I found out my h had betrayed me..I'm still here and it's torture-you are so strong and amazing, I'm in awe xx

honeylulu · 31/05/2017 22:39

Oh OP this is awful! You sound so strong though. I bet you are an amazing mum.

wotabastard · 31/05/2017 22:40

@ExplodingCarrots
I'm intrigued as to what lame excuses he'll come up with to deny he's done anything. They all do even when confronted with undeniable evidence.

oh I know it will be laughable. I will absolutely report back with what happens.

OP posts:
AdoraBell · 31/05/2017 22:43

More strength vibes from me wot, bloody well done on getting the proof.

wotabastard · 31/05/2017 22:43

@rainbowlou Flowers
thank you @honeylulu
thanks everyone I miss!

OP posts:
notapizzaeater · 31/05/2017 22:45

I'd be playing cheaters bingo and see how many of the excuses he can come up with .....

wotabastard · 31/05/2017 22:48

oh give me a list! I'm trying to buoy myself before I concede and go to bed.

OP posts: