Another Boring Prostitute/Husband one :(

[wotabastard]

Opened H's gmail on his laptop totally innocuously to access mine and low and behold there was an email from u k pun tin a registration email from last Monday = (don't want to link back to that scum) As you can imagine, well, I'm shattered. Two dd's, married 2013, together over 10 years. Did some digging and managed to change his password so I could access his account but there is nothing to be seen, he's not participating in any threads at all.

I was hoping there would be a private messaging thing so I could get some cast iron proof of whatever he's engaging in, but nothing, or am I missing something? I came and did some digging here and read a few threads on the subject, saw someone advising to enter username and adultwork into google, another escort site, to find feedback, so I entered his username for the other site, and he has five positive feedback listed from 2013- April 2016 on there.
His account is not active on there though anymore, so I imagine he can easily bullshit that away, though one of the girls is literally a 10 minute from us, the others all in local cities.

I'm angry I don't have clear and irrefutable proof of communications etc. I want to be able to nail the bastard up to a fucking wall with the evidence when I confront him.

I have taken photos of everything I have found on my phone and will keep them safe until needed.

I logged out of the website I changed the password for and deleted all search history of my snooping. When he tries to log in I doubt he will suspect me, he's likely to brush it off as a glitch or attempted hack or something. He also doesn't know the password to my laptop or phone. Not out of me hiding anything, just well, WE TRUSTED EACH OTHER. What a joke.

We have been having tons of amazing sex recently too. Like, soul joining in love sex. What a dickhead.

Any advice? I'm going to get a full STI exam on Friday morning.

Don't know how many (if any) men have read all this but as a man I hope my two daughters grow up to be like you.
Strong, empowered, decisive, tough.
I really hope things work out for you.

I asked my dh if men openly talk about sleeping with prostitutes, he said he knows at least 10 men who have openly discussed it.

I'm shocked.

You know, I used to recoil in horror reading this board and say to him I can't believe what goes on, I'm so glad I've got one of the good ones. I'm so lucky I have you!

Look after yourself, you've been so strong dealing with this, but I hope you've got plenty of rl support.
Such arrogance to think he could get away with this. Throwing away a lovely family, for what？

Nothing to add op but want to reiterate how amazing and strong you are.

Stay angry in your contact with him...don't put x's ! Don't let the balance of power shift to him.

no, that was instead of her name, not kisses. Ohmygod no.

Oh god Wot I do that too. Now I'm worried as iv seen so many of these lately, intelligent women that have stumbled onto something and realised their lovely guys are absolute pricks.

Maybe if it's seems to good to be true it is im off to do some snooping of my own I think.

I'm absolutely rocked the confrontation I'm actually in awe.

That's supposed to say "you rocked" no idea how I'm got there

Just to echo what the others have said, you are one strong amazing woman and should be so proud of how you're dealing with this and the example you're setting to your dd. Reading this is making me suspicious of men in relationships/marriages.......makes me wonder if it goes on way more than many of us realise. Sounds as though you had no reason to suspect him during your time together. It's unnerving. Loads of love and respect to you op.

You are fucking amazing.

Every time I think to tell a friend I can't. I feel like they will think it's my fault. WHICH I KNOW IS BOLLOCKS! but, I can't shake that irrational feeling.

After the confrontation I met my folks and little dd in a local cafe and while we were there I texted my mum 'It's prostitutes. Don't tell dad.' She's the only one. Her face was heartbroken.

I think the confrontation may be one of my proudest moments in life thus far. It was like something out of a Tarantino but with a phone instead of a gun.

I need to drink a glass of water and go to bed but I don't want to.

Everything can be done in your own time.

Baby steps from now on, you'll get there.

Well done for telling your mum. She may have looked heartbroken but for you not because not of you. At least one person IRL knows the truth and when you're ready you can talk to her about it properly. I'm not in the same situation as you but my own 'D'H's failings make me embarrassed to the point I don't want to talk about it because I feel the shame is mine and that people will think badly of me, so I empathise with you.

Get that water and Go to bed, get some rest especially if you are still booby feeding you need your energy.

There's a book called 'Parenting Apart' by Christina McGhee which I found very useful, would recommend it for the coming days.

OP, congratulations on handling this with courage and determination.

I completely remember the hands-shaking drama of capturing the evidence, and I felt for ages as if I was over-acting because I had only ever experienced the feeling when watching it on telly. I remember the heart leaping out of my chest and the visceral feeling of illness and impending doom.

Finding out was the worst day of your life so far. Every day since will be a little bit better than the 'worst day'. Because - logically - nothing can ever be so bad and shocking and shattering again, in terms of your relationship with him. Though life ahead may be tough and there are many terrible moments ahead, nothing will ever be as bad as that day. I promise you.

When you are ready counselling may help you. Also it's a good thing to write. Just write your thoughts and feelings in a book. Looking back you will see how far you have come. Amazing girl, stay strong.

Thank you everyone. You've got me through another day.

I'm in bed now. Busy day tomorrow. I really need to get together with this knob and decide how and when we are going to do things but I've no idea when. Big dd will be wondering what is going on, even though he's always worked random hours. There's only so many days he can come home late and start early before she's like 'where the fuck's ma dad?'
(she doesn't swear but you know what I mean)

Remember to keep channelling Tarantino when you are dealing with the money/maintenance negotiations. Use his shock and guilt to get as much as you can for yourself and your DC, before he starts getting defensive.

I think the word for you is badass .

Wot, what a woman you are! From one female to another, I'm so proud of you.

Thinking of you today Wot and hoping it goes well.

You're doing great

Another one sending you strength Wot. Youre doing amazing xxx

You're an inspiration to us all OP