Anyway, yesterday.
Youngest got picked up and I went and sat in the kitchen and forced myself to drink a cup of tea and eat some toast. I wanted to be sick with every bite but I knew I needed the energy or I'd keel over. I'd been going through my speech all night long, I barely slept an hour I think.
I was sitting there thinking, on the other side of that door is the start of the rest of my life. Nothing will ever be the same after this. I need to just stand up and fucking do it.
I looked at all the messages I had taken to remind myself it was real and that it really was him who was doing this. That gave me the shove to get up and get it started. Because I knew how likely it was that he would react on the offensive I knew I had to be in a position of power the whole time. I decided to take the house phone that was easy to dial with me. He was still in bed so I would be standing over him when I started.
I strode into the bedroom and said
"Right, fucker, listen up. I know, I know everything."
he's in bed and smirks, clearly amused by this mad woman who has just barged in and he starts to say
"what do you know, I've no idea what you are on about."
"The prostitutes. I know about the prostitutes. It is up, it is over, the game is over. Now you are going to shut the fuck up, you are not going to say a fucking word, you are not going to move a fucking muscle, don't you dare get out of that fucking bed or I will call the police and say I am confronting my husband about his prostitution addiction and he is threatening to hurt me."
His face went through about 3,000 emotions at this point, but he still managed to look amused like she's not really got the proof I can still bullshit out of this confident look on his face. Hahahahaa. Not.
I waved the phone in my hand and repeated my point,
"move, I call the police, speak, I call the police, and they will come and arrest you. It is my turn to talk, and you will lie there and fucking listen until I say you can go. I do not want to hear any bullshit, any explanations, anything"
He nods and is like "ok, ok" and shakes his hands out in front of him and starts to look terrified. But he still sighs like he's going to say 'I was just looking'
I am livid and rushing now and so glad I have the power. So glad he can't speak or move. He is literally powerless.
I told him how I found his email open and the saw the bunting account and hes still doing the 'just looking' sigh but then I tell him how I took his phone when he was sleeping and how I know. I KNOW. And he melts into the bed and just dies emotionally. A few times he attempted to speak and I just cut him off and shouted, "I will ring the fucking police!" and he wanted the toilet and I told him to piss himself.
He has admitted full responsibility and he is completely full of remorse. He never blamed me, so unfortunately there was no bingo to be played. I wonder if it was the way I went in for the kill, literally didn't want to give him a millimetre to shirk or excuse himself. Who knows.
He got his stuff and went.