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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Another Boring Prostitute/Husband one :(

675 replies

wotabastard · 30/05/2017 21:40

Opened H's gmail on his laptop totally innocuously to access mine and low and behold there was an email from u k pun tin a registration email from last Monday = (don't want to link back to that scum) As you can imagine, well, I'm shattered. Two dd's, married 2013, together over 10 years. Did some digging and managed to change his password so I could access his account but there is nothing to be seen, he's not participating in any threads at all.

I was hoping there would be a private messaging thing so I could get some cast iron proof of whatever he's engaging in, but nothing, or am I missing something? I came and did some digging here and read a few threads on the subject, saw someone advising to enter username and adultwork into google, another escort site, to find feedback, so I entered his username for the other site, and he has five positive feedback listed from 2013- April 2016 on there.
His account is not active on there though anymore, so I imagine he can easily bullshit that away, though one of the girls is literally a 10 minute from us, the others all in local cities.

I'm angry I don't have clear and irrefutable proof of communications etc. I want to be able to nail the bastard up to a fucking wall with the evidence when I confront him.

I have taken photos of everything I have found on my phone and will keep them safe until needed.

I logged out of the website I changed the password for and deleted all search history of my snooping. When he tries to log in I doubt he will suspect me, he's likely to brush it off as a glitch or attempted hack or something. He also doesn't know the password to my laptop or phone. Not out of me hiding anything, just well, WE TRUSTED EACH OTHER. What a joke.

We have been having tons of amazing sex recently too. Like, soul joining in love sex. What a dickhead.

Any advice? I'm going to get a full STI exam on Friday morning.

OP posts:
LexieLulu · 01/06/2017 20:20

Well done OP! Flowers

Chocolatefudgecake100 · 01/06/2017 21:06

You seem so strong way stronger than id appear i know inside ull be dying i dont know what to say and wishing i could help in some way your amazing op you and ur kids deserve way more im
Glad u can see that x

wotabastard · 01/06/2017 21:23

I hit a wall of exhaustion and sadness so I'll get to bed and sleep. I'm so glad he's not here. Space at last. I will update tomorrow, but I walked away feeling strong and empowered. I completely and utterly devastated him and his convenient little set up.

Thank you so very much everyone with the kind words and flowers. It really means the world.

FlowersFlowersFlowersFlowersFlowersFlowersFlowersFlowersFlowersFlowers

OP posts:
GeekyWombat · 01/06/2017 21:25

Sleep well Wot. A new day tomorrow. You're doing so well and being so strong, just be a bit gentle on yourself too.

billabye · 01/06/2017 21:37

Good for you wot. You've been so brave. I admire you Flowers

LucieLucie · 01/06/2017 21:59

You're amazing, you've handled slime ball like a pro!
There'll be no thrill in seeking prostitutes now that he's a sad singleton Wink

sparechange · 01/06/2017 22:02

Well done,wot
And welcome to the start of the rest of your life Flowers

rainbowlou · 01/06/2017 22:07

I could weep for you wot...you're doing great xx

2littlemoos · 01/06/2017 22:14

You are quite simply fantastic! Sleep well OP Flowers

saffronwblue · 01/06/2017 22:14

You have done so well. What a hard day. Hope you get some sleep and can move towards the bright future.

PoorYorick · 01/06/2017 22:29

You are mighty, OP.

BewareOfDragons · 01/06/2017 22:30

He was devastated?!? The unmitigated gall of the bastard.

Well rid.

I'm glad you and your DCs are ok. Sleep well, OP. You've done yourself and your DCs proud standing up for yourself.

totorosfluffytummy · 01/06/2017 22:34

Well played!
Stay Strong Flowers

PiazzaDelPoppolo · 01/06/2017 23:06

Stay strong OP Flowers

HelenaDove · 01/06/2017 23:33

"There'll be no thrill in seeking prostitutes now that he's a sad singleton"

And he will have a lot less to spend on his little "hobby" after Child Support is paid.

kittybiscuits · 01/06/2017 23:54

You did a tremendous job. It's okay not to be okay. You've had an awful shock. Be kind and gentle with yourself.

altiara · 01/06/2017 23:57

You are amazing! Stay strong Flowers

RhythmAndStealth · 02/06/2017 01:00

Well done 👍

pimmsy · 02/06/2017 02:58

I hope you are sleeping well.
You are fierce. Bear

wotabastard · 02/06/2017 05:07

No idea what to do about the kids :(

OP posts:
StrawberryMummy90 · 02/06/2017 05:20

Are you ok wot?

wotabastard · 02/06/2017 05:25

Not really. I woke up an hour ago. I was disappointed he hadn't been begging my forgiveness all night.

I told him that he needs to tell the children that he made a terrible mistake that has hurt all of us and it means he can't stay here anymore. I just don't think I'm ready to deal with that yet. Eldest breaks up from school in 3 weeks. The poor thing.

OP posts:
wotabastard · 02/06/2017 05:28

I always felt a sense of pride that we were going to make it. That our children were growing up in a home where mum and dad had a fun close affectionate relationship.

Pride comes before a fall. No truer words spoken.

OP posts:
wotabastard · 02/06/2017 05:31

If he had logged out of his email none of this would have happened and he'd with someone this week.

That needs to be my mantra from now on. He's sorry because he got caught.

OP posts:
windthatbobbin · 02/06/2017 05:39

Just handholding. The next while will be really tough, but you know you're doing the right thing. Flowers