Pictures - opinions on these texts please

[newnamechange84]

Just a small snapshot of what my 'd'p sends his 'friend'. Friend or more? Opinions please - this is a long running problem

Dear OP

You havent done anything wrong. He will blame you and blame you and blame you and if you want him back desperately enough you will end up saying sorry and begging him and you will get nothing in return. He is a weak, disrespectful low bastard. He should be begging your forgiveness - but he's not is he? Because he's dishonest and he will lie to you about being paranoid and lie to other people about your relationship. Thats the only thing you really can be sure of from his behaviour.

Hold strong. This is not a good man, this is a poisonous user who has sponged off you and made you ill with anxiety and depression. He doesnt have any regret, he has behaved horribly to you and he is blaming you for it. Never ever trust him again.

He's keen, although she's not keen at all. Sorry OP.

No I don't think she's keen either, probably just loves the attention.

Practice your icy disdain.

Hide from him what you are really feeling and ask no questions, he will only lie anyway. Return all his stuff because it means nothing to you, you don't need and and you don't care if he has it or doesn't. I wouldn't let on about the tablet, it will make it easier for his next victim to catch him out if he is not too careful.

Icy disdain.

I like it phunt.

How's it going, OP?
Hope you are Ok, must be hard.

I'm ok, I haven't really sat and cried yet and I'm hoping I won't. I do feel upset but when I look at everything he's done I know I made the best decision. He's not even bothered about talking to me, more about getting his stuff back. Let's just say he'll have a nice surprise in one of the bags he collected this morning thanks to my wicked friend 😜 I've not texted or said anything meaningful to him, I won't. He's threatened me with the police but I've train explaining that I cannot move his stuff out of my house in one day. There is too much and I don't want to see him. The stuff he picked up this morning was left out in the rain all night - his choice not to collect it straight away. He could have had everything but he chose flirtation over our families. My DD has been asking for him all day. That's the most heartbreaking thing about this. How do I explain to her that he's not coming home? That makes me cry, that I let someone into her life and he's let her down. I've been talking today to someone he used to be VERY close to. Won't say who just in case as don't want to incriminate the other person. BUT they have confirmed and experienced a lot of stuff that I've gone through. I feel a bit empty and I really need a hug but this is the best thing I can do for all of us. He would never change but at some point he's going to know that he's messed up.

OP here - adding to this as a lot has happened and I need help but the backstory will give info.

Met up with ex a month ago. Realised I still love him even though it'd been six weeks. I had been a bitch throughout the split and I had made it hard. He told me he still loved me and missed me and I, rightly or wrongly in other people's opinions, told him that I was sorry for everything. We saw each other a few times over that week and discussed getting back together but he told me in the end that he couldn't forgive me for what I'd done and that he couldn't move on from it which really cut me up. Just over two weeks ago I found out I was pregnant - we argued about stuff a lot and I was, tbh, pretty horrible to him at points but because I just felt broken by everything. Anyway, I booked a termination for yesterday, we have five kids already between us. He came on Tuesday night and I broke down on him several times as I still wasn't 100% about what I wanted to do. He did tell me he'd support me whatever but that a baby wasn't really the right decision for any of us. Yesterday was awful, we went to the clinic and then came home afterwards but it took a long time, until 9pm, for it to happen. (Sorry I know some people are very anti-abortion). We were both in bits and he said that it's the worst day of his life. He looked after me and dealt with my crying and upset and just held me all last night until he left for work this morning. I am absolutely broken though. Yesterday was truly one of the worse things I've ever had to do made even worse by the fact that I'm still in love with him. I feel on the edge of a breakdown and I can't stop crying. I feel so ill and I just wNt him back, I need him back. I stopped taking my anti depressants six weeks ago despite the gp upping them to 100mg. I gave him his iPad back this morning as I couldn't deal with the guilt from it and he is just so angry with me. I don't know what to do. I just need him he makes me feel complete. I'm just at a loss today.

Oh love I am so sorry that you are feeling so shit. Yesterday must have been hard but I do think from what you've said it was the right thing to do.

You have nothing to be sorry for - he is trying to manipulate you again. HE was the one who wrote those messages. If you were a bitch to him, well he deserved it. If you went through his iPad - not great but you had good reason. That is NOT what all this is about.

for you

Pack his bags and put them at the front door. What an arse hole!

Why did you stop taking ADs at the time when you probably needed them the most?

You need them more than you need him, believe me.

Thank you Thisisreality - I just can't get the whole thing out of my head and I'm just trying to think of ways to get him back even though I know it's not wise and it means he's got over me if I try that.

Don't know why I stopped my AD's but I probably need them again now.

Hi there, newnamechange84 I read through your whole post the other night. I have to agree with everyone else and say he dies not sound like a good person, you'd never trust him if you got back together... But I know how hard it is when you miss someone and want desperately to see the good in them, especially when they are being persuasive and trying to tell you what you want to hear most. Deep down you know it's not right with him. And you will feel soooo much better in time when you will see things more clearly. Like the other posters I think this is a time you definitely need you AD'S to keep you strong and not make a decision based on feeling low/lonely. I suggest no contact if possible. He sounds quite manipulative and knows what to say to you to get you to pity him/see him as a nice person. If you're feeling weak read through this whole thread again to remind yourself what he is like! He has obviously realised he has no one and nothing now... Of course he was better off with you so he's going to try everything to get you back! Not necessarily for genuine reasons though. Good luck and stay strong, keep us updated

Come on over to the 30 Days No Contact thread newname
There are lovely supportive people there, all going through the same shit. It's really (really) hard this NC but it's the only way.
I'm sorry you've had such a time of it.

So all I've heard since Friday morning is how ill he is and how he hasn't had anyone to support him, despite me constantly offering to talk. No doubt he's having a heart to heart with 'stace'. He promised me before the abortion that he would support me emotionally as I told him that although I didn't really want to go through with it that I knew I had to for everyone else. Now he's buggered off and I've not seen him since cause he's 'too ill to come and see me'. Since yesterday when I was honest with him and told him I felt like giving up he's blanked me and hasn't responded to my messages even though I can see he's read them on what's app. He always been constantly 'ill', it's a long term 'problem' or just in his fucking head. I wouldn't have gone through with it had I known I'd have been deserted by him at the end. I can't believe this is happening. I was doing so well before we met up again. Where do I find the other thread? Thanks for all your replies. I know you all speak sense, I just find this so difficult cause I can only remember the good times.

But while you were having those good times he was messaging stace behind your back trying to get into her knickers. You could never in a million years trust him and I think any kind of relationship with him would end in tears for you.

It's time to move on from him. It's going to be hard but keeping in touch isn't helping.