Pictures - opinions on these texts please

[newnamechange84]

Just a small snapshot of what my 'd'p sends his 'friend'. Friend or more? Opinions please - this is a long running problem

And don't worry about Disney. You've not lost money, you've paid a ransom to get released.

I'd pay the full £2000 to go there WITHOUT him!!

He's probably acting like this witrh you coz he will feel a complete twat that everyone on Facebook has seen what he's done behind your back! So he's angry at you, that says it all really, rather than feeling guilty that he's hurt and betrayed you he's just feeling angry that he's been caught out. What a prat.

I'd guard against putting any more stuff on FB. Social media can give any Tom Dick or Harry an opinion and you need to stay clear-sighted and focussed. I'm really impressed at your resolve so far.

I think if you managed to weather the storm of him coming round, kicking off and then (hopefully) going away then you're through the initial worst part and should be proud of yourself.

Stay strong, keep your standards high and know that you don't deserve to waste your precious time with someone who doesn't want to be with you.

You really do need to look at what he does rather than listen to what he says. What he has done is dismiss his relationship with you in the most appalling of ways during a set of messages where it is clear that he is trying to get it on with 'Stace'. She is obviously not as interested in him as he is in her. It is evident from the messages and herein lies the rub. He now doesn't have his cosy set up at home but nor has he got her and he hates that doesn't he? He's done this to himself but if he has the slightest chance of getting your roof back over his head by God he's throwing everything to try and get that chance! His words are manipulation and nothing more. I suspect that has you thrown everything out, including his uniform and 'Stace' had been more keen on him than she is, you would never hear a dickybird from him.

He is texting the other woman because has a crush on her and downing you and your relationship is giving him something to whine about to get her attention. An excuse to text and garner sympathy from her. That's why.

You need to stop being such a mug and see it for what it is. Raise your standards and expectations. Don't settle for being anyone's Plan B ffs.

HAD you thrown everything out.

Hes been horrible to you, and about you behind your back. The fact you love him means it will hurt, but it doesnt mean you should stay

P.s Despite her flirting, she is not interested in him. He's wasting his time.

Can you not just give him his uniform?

Bit confused (yes I have RTFT) why can't he have his work clothes?

Obviously he's a knobber and disrespectful and untrustworthy but if he needs a uniform for work that doesn't sound unreasonable as a request?

Because he forfeited his right for the OP to make any kind of considerate allowance for him when he was active trying to insert his penis into a woman that isn't his DP.

Plus I don't think OP retained his uniform maliciously.

If you're bundling your betraying shit of a partners clothes into a bag to chuck out on the street, my guess is that you're not thinking straight.

You've done the right thing.

Give him all his stuff back, including the iPad.

Definitely do not put personal stuff on FB.

Take the higher ground, and ignore him (block his number).

Concentrate on planning your holiday to Disneyland without him.

Keep being a good example to you're daughter, OP. You wouldnt want her to settle for a man like this, and you shouldn't either.

Can you just hang his uniform on the front door. Text him to collect it and ignore all other messages.

*your FFS

Oh OP I hope you're ok this morning what a dick.

I just want to add to the chorus of posters saying that this is all about him, not you. He texts another woman because he likes the attention, the excitement of the 'chase'. He gaslights you so that he gets to carry on feeling superior, desired and in control.

Now you've broken his internal narrative where he plays the put-upon, unhappy partner of a difficult woman, someone who deserves the 'innocent' pastime of texting a 'friend'.

You only see what's really going on when reality hits his story. He deletes messages because he knows it's out of order, and lies to your face to make you doubt yourself when you get suspicious.

And now you've stood up and said 'no'. He'll be surprised - as if a character in a book turned around and started talking back to him. It fits into the narrative he's got going with 'Stace' beautifully, which is why he texted her, but as pp say she's not really interested in him.

He's going to do everything he can do to try and get back to the place he was before, and that means trying to manipulate your emotions to take him back. Please stay strong.

Whoa - essay, sorry OP. Hit a nerve but from what you've said I don't think I'm projecting too much!

For me, the point is that he is investing more in their friendship (although I believe if she wanted to take it further he would) and the text saying you're not his life partner and the one about his mum saying to come back home if needed means he's been unhappy but hasn't spoken to you about it because you're his meal ticket.

He's used you and not been mature enough to talk through his feelings so you've been clueless. Plus he's said he's deleted messages, what was worse than the ones he left that's he's needed to delete them?

Then when you ended things, first thing he does is to ask if you read his messages so it's not like he doesn't see he was wrong. He knows full well.

Never admit to seeing the messages. He'll know you have the iPad though if he's got find friends or find iPhone on it, which is likely.

He was telling her you had no future as he was laying the groundwork to get in her knickers and potentially set her up (if she were interested) as his next GF.

Hd was telling you, you are the one because, oh fuck his comfortable life is going down the tubes and where will he sleep, eat and shit.

He doesn't care for you. He cares for himself and what he needs.

OP: you have done the right thing because he won't answer, because he is shouting at you, and because of what he has texted to her. And if that was what he was texting, what on earth could he have been saying in RL!!!

Of course you wonder if you have done the right thing because it is hard to lose the picture of the life and future you thought you had. But you just can't have that future with this man. If you take him back he will continue to disrespect you and lie, and the only lesson learned is that he will cover his tracks better and lie better. And you will be constantly looking out for that.

Of course it will be sad for your Dd for a while. But she has you. And she needs a happy strong you, not a you that is being exploited, used and lied to.

Put his uniform outside for him, and for the love of God stop texting with him, Give him his stuff, block his number.

I'm sure you didn't but I do hope you managed to get some sleep last night.
You will probably want to salvage this and make it work.
But please give yourself some time and space without him in it.
Really think things through.
Then take it from there.
Try to eat something and if you can't then keep your sugar levels up and keep yourself hydrated.
Your DD is 3. She will get over it all pretty quickly.
Kids are very resilient at that age.

Thinking o you this morning OP. Hope your managing to find the strength. It's a glorious day here hope your getting the sunshine in your parts too. Always helps

I hope you're doing OK this morning OP.

Many of us have been where you are in one sense or another, it is hard and it will hurt and you will want to go back and try to go back to the way things were with him had but you really mustn't. He's a terrible, horrible selfish bastard. He is abusing you, gaslighting you, using you for money and mocking you to the girl he wants to shag. Think about these things when you wobble and want to take him back. This is the opposite of a loving relationship!

He doesn't give a shit about you. He tried to play the nice guy telling you 'you're the one' and when that didn't work he's resorted to bullying and threats. You and your DD deserve so much more than this. It isn't anyone's fault but his. He is not a good person at all and nothing you can do or will do will change that, or make him the person you want him to be. I guarantee that 6 months down the line you will think to yourself 'what in the holy fuck was I doing with that colossal prick?'

I promise you that if you take him back this time, as soon as he gets a better offer (in his eyes) he'll drop you faster than you can blink. Don't you think he should have driven round to speak to you in person when you dropped the text bombshell or even rang you? He gives that much of a shit that all he did was texted you (after "Stace").

Maintain your dignity (no more Facebook, it won't make you feel any better and nosy bastards revel in the drama) and don't engage with him. Just leave his stuff outside, give him back the iPad and cut him out of your life.