The Dating Thread 118. Online and real life dating advice

[Bant]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread.

Divorcedating yes pub garden for me too! And maybe a walk afterwards (but I can see me getting hot and sweaty on that :-/ ) Definitely going to be a HOT date! :-D

I'm back from a hot date today with MrScifi, sadly just hot in the sweaty way. Last min he passed me a tupperware container with leftovers (we had snack/picnic) so now we should meet again. He was nice, but I didn't feel a spark. He has asked me out for a meal, but maybe I should just say a coffee and pass his tupperware back

I preferred Mr Cook. Mr Boats is still messaging and I have two more on pof. One more on What'sapp, but he's in forces accommodation and I suspect is looking for short-term fling in some photos he looks like a serial killer .

Just had a look on Tinder and was wondering why there's suddenly 1000's of fit single men near by, then I realised that I am close to a certain festival that starts tomorrow.

I still have no dates lined up. Mr deep thinker has been away for a few days but is home tomorrow, I have dropped a few hints that I am off work for 2 days but he hasn't suggested meeting, I prefer him to the other 2 I am talking too.

Nugget why would you engage in a bit of sexting with someone whose face you haven't even seen?

I'm not into sexting until I've had a few dates, just does nothing for me with a stranger esp with no pic

I've got a hot looking teacher whatsapping me...he trying to get suggestive but it won't work with me

Sexting that early on seems so desperate, a real turn off. I'm happy to have a few light jokes, or talk about intimacy but cock photos are just bizarre.

I surprised myself tonight as I set up a date for tomorrow (basically said time I was free to go for a drink before we even carried on small talk on moving across to What's app). This is MrSparks. It was driven by my practical drive to be organised as I want to have several initial meetings quickly and not get comitted too quickly to one person. It's the third date in as many days. I'm seeing Mr Cook (date 2) in the weekend and he's the one I like the most my judgment in dating so far has been rubbish so I am ignoring myself for now . I think I may have scared Mr Sparks as he hasn't been in contact the rest of the day 😂

How do you all manage to go on dates? Been back OLD for 2 weeks now. I've had a few interesting conversations but they all seem to fizzle out. Either the man stops responding or I lose interest and because some seem like total weirdos Wondering if it's a case of not finding someone I like, being too picky or if this is a common theme in OLD?

It's a common theme, laura

Think of it like a packed, noisy bar, where you're there on your own. You'll strike up a bunch of conversations with a bunch of different people. Often they're talking to other people at the same time. Most of the conversations will end up tailing off as you're just not interesting each other. Some may end up with you exchanging numbers to meet again. Some of them will end up with them flashing you their knobs because no one else can see and they won't get in trouble.

Then there's the added difficulty that you only have a photo, so you don't know if there's chemistry, or if the photo is even recent or real. And some of them are married.

Also, some of the bars charge for entry, and some have thousands of people who went there once, years ago, left a profile and haven't been back since.

But on the plus side, you can have the telly on and a nice glass of wine while you're chatting with them

Great surmise Bant unfortunately majority of time it's same old faces frequenting the bar with a few drunken dicks trying their luck

Just wondering how @divorcedating and @fieryfighter got on last night. I had a very hot third date and just felt very uncomfortable in the heat. But he seems really normal and nice and I'm spending the day with him today!

I forgot that I agreed to a date with Mr Surf tomorrow, I'm really anxious about this one, mainly because he's really good looking, I keep thit making of ways I could get out of going, apart from him being really hot he hasn't got much else going for him.

Have exchanged phone numbers with mr deep thinker I am hoping he will ask me out on a date hen I might ditch my date with mr Surf.

Couldn't sleep last night so logged onto POF to talk to mr deep thinker who was also awake and whilst online I got 5 messages (not sure why 3am is so busy?), only one was worthy of a reply but I haven't had time to reply yet, he wrote quite a long message highlighting what he is looking for (relationship, not a hook up) and make a few funny jokes, looks like he's in the army although his job title says 'I have one', there is a photo of him wearing army gear and he lives where there's a huge army base. I haven't had much luck with army and x army irons but he looks friendly. I don't know if I should message him as I'm already talking to 3 others?

fedupandnogin all going swimmingly here, I actually met him lunchtime Tues as well as yesterday evening! We found a cool corner of the pub next door to a breezy window so didn't sweat all my make up off! Having a drink this evening if I finish work in time then proper date Saturday which will be our fifth date so goodness knows what might happen as there are many sparks flying. I was super excited to find out he can ride and we're thinking of going out riding together soon.

Anyway, super excited for Saturday, trying to contain myself somewhat!
(Can't help wondering if he's 'in proportion' given he's so tall 😂😂)

That's what I thought with my mr tall too fieryfighter

Lovemusic I too have a few irons on go including a fit one which I'm dreading him asking to meet...he's intelligent as a teacher but suspect he doesn't want anything serious

I feel bad cos I've ghosted one that I meant to be seeing today for second date...he just bores me really and he a fitness fanatic which although I'm careful n do moderate exercise I'm no gym bunny! I didn't have guts to tell him so just blocked

Tell me I'm mean !

LOL @Fieryfighter Glad all has been going well. I'm looking forward to a full day today which will be the fourth date....

Hello @fedupandnogin and everyone. Ok I did it! I went on the date. I was terrified and walked in and out of the entrance for the bar about 5 times (had to keep walking up and down the street as I felt sick with fear) but I finally made it in.

So Mr Local is the same height as me (not sure about this sorry to be shallow) and not as good looking as his photos suggest but still really cute. He didn't seem to have made much effort clothes wise. His clothes looked really scruffy (trainers needed throwing away and really awful mustardy coloured sweatshirt/jumper thing). Maybe he's just a super casual bloke though.

Chat was lovely and he's really clever and interesting and funny. I'm definitely going to go out with him again. My dating history (including the abusive ex husband) is horrendous so maybe me choosing really smartly dressed blokes hasn't worked so far and I need to be more relaxed about it.

Oh and he's obsessed with car boot sales.....

I've just exchanged numbers with Me Works Away this morning at his request so we can communicate on WhatsApp instead and that date is next Wednesday so I'll see how that goes.

How did you all get on last night win chats and dates?

So pleased for all of you having great dates!

And good for you DD! I can promise you that subsequent dates will never be quite as nerve-racking as the first!

Any one suggest good sites for no strings / friendship etc. Newly single male who Is not looking for anything serious. Fun and friendly is what I think I'm looking for. Thanks

Well @fedupandnogin and @Fieryfighter sounds positive for you both!

Would anyone happen to know the current pricing for Match? Last time I looked, it seemed a bit gimmicky. No flat fee, but pricing depended on the no. of messages sent, or something like that. Don't think they list prices unless you sign up, so would be helpful to find this out from someone already on there.
Still torn between POF and Match, having already used them both (POF most recently). Looking at my current bank balance, the freebie site may win!
user I'd look at either Tinder or POF. No point in using a paid site, if you're not looking to invest in a proper relationship, if you know what I mean. Certainly on POF, you get the option to state what you're looking for (friendship/ casual dating, etc). I've never used Tinder, but would imagine it's the same. Good luck.

Ok, talk me down people! Not heard anything from Me Texan today, every morning without fail he's messaged me to say good morning and I've heard nothing today and my what's app has only one grey tick so not got to his phone.

I KNOW his phone battery is prob dead or something so please stop me worrying stupidly!!! All the talk of ghosting is weirding me out lol

Aww FF, there is nothing in the dating world that's worse than contact fail anxiety! Sympathies. Have you tried texting him to say hi? Hope he gets in touch soon but honestly, even the most reliable folks sometimes slip up with this kind of thing. Keep us posted!

Fieryfighter It would be much worse if he had seen your message but not replied. Try to keep your mind busy with other things. You are supposed to be seeing him this evening yes? If you are able to meet him this evening then wait until late afternoon and text him to work out plans. (maybe text instead of WhatsApp in case its an app problem?)

Resist the temptation to react to the perceived lack of communication, proceed as if all is normal and you will be seeing him later. Don't let yourself get caught up in speculation.

Hi all. I don't know if anyone remembers me from ages ago. I was dating wildcard who seemed lovely, but we ended up meeting every couple of weeks for sex really and although he texted in between, he wasn't making plans. I wasn't developing feelings for him. Then I went to my friend's wedding and met someone who I am completely falling for and he for me. We are really really happy. I can't believe it.

Bant & fortunacookie That made me laugh. Great analogy although the bar sounds like a complete dive!