The Dating Thread 118. Online and real life dating advice

[Bant]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread.

Thanks Pringle, although I remain strangely positive. I REFUSE to give up on this!
Ooh, I love a tall man. Go for it!

Pringle I think that's fine. I'm 5 ft 1 and I tend to view 6ft as my upper limit. If I set it lower I'd rule out too many people.

Have asked when he's free. No response and I know he's been online, but maybe he's been thinking about it and/or busy with work. Will hopefully get a response later. If not... next!

I'm about 5ft 1 and dated someone 6ft 4. It was fine sat/lying down but stood up felt odd! kiss sitting down!

Tonights date was good and arranging another at weekend. This is Mr Cook. Can't remember what I called one I'm seeing tomorrow, so he's now MrScifi. Mr Cook went for a snog at the end and I thought it was a peck so a bit embarrassing, but otherwise ok.

Good to have a couple of irons on the go, Lana. Saves getting over invested, at least in my experience.

Yeah I agree on that, if I'm taking to more than one I'm far more easy going when they don't reply for hours..,I've had 2 dates with two guys mr tall n mr darnsouth...

Mr tall - average looking, quite shy, makes me laugh, no kids but similar interests

Mr darnsouth - bit better looking but bores me a bit, has kids n is cooking me breakfast at his Thursday

If I DTD with one then I'll dump the other.

Also have another iron I quite like but just messaging at mo n he lives further away

Dieu, sorry things didn't work out but welcome back. I'm talking to someone who seems to work away a bit and always seems to be busy with work or his hobby, I, not that keen on meeting him although he looks really hot. I'm one of those people that kind of wants all or nothing and I don't think I could cope seeing someone that is away a lot.

Height, I dated someone who was 6'4, I am 5'2. I quite like tall men.

Hi. Dieu, sorry things didn't work out, onwards and upwards hey? Fwiw I think it's definitely better to end things if they're like that early on. Bugger settling I say!

Pringlecat I bloody love tall men, go for it, that's not ridiculous at all. Mr Texan is 11" taller than I and I'm 5'6" and i love it!

I am still doubtful about the height working out, but have arranged to meet Mr Meet Me on Saturday anyway. We seem to have a similar sense of humour and that's one of the most important things to me. I hope if nothing else we'll have a fun chat.

And I really need to get out there soon before I fixate on the younger man with the girlfriend.

Movingon1611 erm that's just weird I'm 33 and haven't had that.

Dieu I tried Zoosk for a while but you can only message ppl if one of you is a paid member and I spotted some old pictures of guys I know. So, some if the profiles were 3/4 years out of date!

Have exchanged some really long (but meaningful) messages with Mr Nice Guy. He is so lovely and we have a lot in common, but I don't think there would be any chemistry there. Still, it doesn't hurt to keep talking to multiple irons.

Fieryfighter "Bugger settling" should totally go in The Rules. Wow, Mr Texan is tall.

Pavonia The men on OKC in my area and age bracket are dire. And all seemingly sex obsessed, but I feel that OKC pushes people to come across that way.

LanaDReye Bold move. I've never tried messaging an old iron, but I will keep that technique in reserve! I love the confidence of this and will give it a go some day.

Dieu Never tried Zoosk. The only happy couple I know who met from OLD met on eHarmony. I've tried eHarmony and I'm not a fan.

Mr Cook and Mr Scifi both seem keen. I will have to judge Mr Scifi properly tomorrow when I see him. Trying to keep several going and also talking to a Mr Boats. He asks lots of questions, but not so clear on answering questions and both his DCs are very young (2 and 5). Mine often entertain themselves (8 and almost 12). I feel bad for being put off as I have DCs, but two younger DCs seems a challenge.

I have a date with Mr Local the guy I'm most keen on tonight (my first date in 6 years and on the hottest day of the year, small panic) and now another guy Mr Works Away who only seemed mildly interested has asked me out for next Wednesday. Eek I'm back in the game.

Small amount of mixed emotions as this makes my separation and impending divorce really really real (which it already was but when you're married you don't think you'll ever need to date again).

Now what the hell to wear that doesn't leave me a sweaty mess but also isn't too skimpy as I'm super curvy so don't want to look too OTT. Also I feel sick already and the date isn't until 7:30pm!!!

Hi Divorce Dating. My third date tonight and also wondering what to wear for the same reasons. Good luck

fortunacookie that's tough, did he just think you having a 4 y/o wasn't a big factor or something?

AbernathysFringe thanks for your earlier theory about him being gay - I have been in a relationship with a gay man before in similar circs! I don't think this is the case here though.

DivorceDating what size are you? I got a good wrap dress from Uniqlo a couple of months ago that is my go to - it's the perfect mix of nice and not too dressy and works with the curves.

I am feeling very depleted this week about friend, I was happy with how things were but then things escalating then pulling back has just left me disappointed and confused. We have still been in touch, but much less initiated by him, although he did tell me today that he is busy and stressed and is working v long hours and struggling with it. He's still asking very forensic questions all the time (who were you with, I said I'd had a long conversation on the phone the previous evening, he wanted to know who with for example, what are you doing tonight/what did you do last night?) But then I suggested we get something to eat and he said he couldn't due to work and I just felt really daft.

An extra confusing factor is STBXH who may want me back, and friend is at pains to tell me (completely unprompted and often) about why he doesn't think I should do that. I got a long message today about how good it was that I'd left my previous relationship which is confusing as all of my other friends are more in the 'maybe you should give him another chance?' camp. I won't, but still ...

I don't know. Arg! Why is it never easy?

DivorceDating it will be OK! Sympathies though as I'm not flat chested and this weather doesn't help as everything cool is low cut. I had my first date last year in over 10 years and I was very nervous at first then was able to relax.

Hello @NameyMcChanged I'm a size 10 but 34E on top :( so things tend to look inappropriate/more sexual than I'd like on me (went out with friends a couple of weeks ago and random drunk man in the street starting shouting 'alright gorgeous, great tits' at me for example even though I just had a normal t shirt on 😭) and I need a sturdy bra so can't risk showing it as they are always ugly.

Might take a look for the dress you recommend though, thanks x

Hello @fedupandnogin hope it goes well! I was hoping for somewhere with air con but he's suggested an outside beer garden so I'm just hoping I'm not rocking the 'sweaty mess and lank hair' look....

Hello @Allthembuckets I'm terrified. My marriage was horribly abusive (police were involved when it ended) so although I'm feeling happy now and mostly back to my old self I'm still a little unsure of my own judgement and wary. Really looking forward to going out with someone kind and polite though.

Namey there's a reason he's an ex! I'm not sure about your friend, I would probably be lenient but I'm too much of a soft touch, so others probably have better advice.

DivorceDating Much the same here on size, very annoying in this weather.
I had a brain haemorrhage in 2013 So, although I appear "normal" my sense of balance and speech can be like I'm tipsy and I have a lack of dexterity in my right hand and both hands shake, more so if I'm stressed or trying not to shake! I haven't informed dates of this, so it can be a bit of a minefield. So I do understand; my judgement wasn't great before, now it's awful but my first date was great and he didn't know about DD so also had to insert that! It's nerve wracking at first but then you can relax.

Ah @Allthembuckets I need to work out how to mention the whole waiting for my divorce to be finalised thing as I haven't mentioned it yet. I figured see if we click first as I don't want to go into my history with every random I chat to online. Might be a deal breaker for him but if so he's not the one for me anyway!

I joined that tastebuds site just to see what it is like. The UI is pretty crappy in the browser, feels a bit like those cheap chatty MeetMe or Meetup kinda sites. I like the fact it's music based though so will give it a chance.

Messaging a guy from tinder for a few days. Arranging a date, doing a little harmless sexting, he's sends a dick pic Asked could he take and send a picture of his face... Gone silent. I fully consider myself to be ghosted. Moral of the story. Always get a test picture to ensure you know who you're talking to before the first meet

Didn't he have pics on Tinder?

Nugget possibly the moral is don't engage in sexting with a stranger on the internet?