Dh has died and the MN lifesavers are helping us to keep our heads above water

[JuanPotatoTwo]

New thread :). Thought I'd start this one like I ended the last one - Bertie crashed out after a busy day's mischief making.

Evening all
Juan - I do hope you managed to comfort DD .
Cake - hayfever! just a few days without something would be good for you all..
Had a nice day out , though nothing exciting to see at the auction , washing snuff dry on the line .when i got home . Lots of watering and some potting up in the greenhouse
Just about to sit and do some crotchet , maybe even sneak a bit of chocolate ....
Have a good evening everyone x

Evening all.

Well thats it for sports days for me Sun stayed out despite a quick shower at 8am. 2.5 hours sat on another flipping wooden bench!

Been a funny day weather wise had my washing in and out 3 times before I gave up due to rain showers/sunshine, then it rained a lot this pm.

Been watching 'The Real Full Monty' must get a copy of that film I really want to watch it now I cant hear Donna Summer's Hot Stuff without smiling and having a wiggle

Cake hayfever is rotten. DS1 had it pretty bad for a couple of years but not so much since last year after using a spray he was prescribed. DS2 has it too. I never had it until they started planting that oil seed rape around here.

Got my case almost packed. Going to Edinburgh on Sat to kit out ds1 with shorts and tees and maybe a few t shirts for me. Despite my lists I am sure I have forgotten things Have asked ds1 to find the usb phone chargers but I know damm well I am going to have to do it myself because if things dont jump up and bite him on the nose he cant find anything.

Selena thinking of you and DH hope its all sorted out now.
Juan hope your DD is ok safe in your capable hands this pm.

Just popping in to say goodnight
Sleep well everyone
Thoughts and Prayers x

Hello all, hope the night was peaceful for all.

DD still asleep, DS bad already but haven't given me permission to administer medicine yet . Mine is quite bad this morning too. Going to see if I can source some local honey - that's said to help desperate

She's up and her eyes are so puffy poor thing!

Have a good day in the sun everyone. DS off on school trip and then their school fair after!

I feel for those who are hay fever affected, I've only had it one year - when I was pregnant with ds2 - but John used to suffer from it. It's no fun.

It's been lovely weather here, no rain, warm and sunny.

Still not decided on holiday, but have been looking - find places I like, look at TripAdvisor, then despite overwhelming good reviews still get swayed by the bad ones. . Just need to bite the bullet.

Had a lovely evening on Monday with friend and family - although it is hard being around other couples and their casual touch and care for each other and missing that myself. I'm not a very tactile person, but John and I were constantly touching and I miss it dreadfully.
Then Tuesday evening a friend popped round with a lasagne for us and stayed for a bit of a chat.
Wednesday evening I went for a walk with another friend.

So bits of things to fill the time. It doesn't take away the loss but it does just give something else to focus on.

I messaged a school mum who I know vaguely a couple of days ago to see if she fancies coffee and she is free at the weekend so will hopefully see her when the bots are with their dad at the weekend.

I'm struggling - but nothing like I was last week - and I suspect I'll struggle for some time.

Willow hope the rest of the holiday planning goes well.

Selena thinking of you.

book my mum is coming over with plants today to fill where we cut back last week - when I read your updates it makes me think of mum.

Morning all
Cake - its horrid -I think the pollen count is very high all this week , so hope you can ride it out.
Chasing - I am very happy to be virtual MN 'mum' - I was often a pretend mum to some of DD's friends ( on a side note - she used to come home and ask about stuff for friends, or bring them to ask , as they couldn't ask their mum...not bad mums, but not able to talk to your mum is a bit sad). It sounds as if you are on a reasonably even keel, even though still struggling - you are doing all you can, which has to be a positive.
A lot fresher/cooler here today - just hung out a big load of whites , and its all flapping - its getting a 'lift' as my DM used to say :)
Off to the allotment shortly - actually helping with some necessary committee work first ( we have to sort out problems/check everyone is okay and keeping things under control) , then just making sure the slugs aren't making hay on my vegetables .
Then home ,ironing to do before I go off to friends for afternoon tea.
Have a good day all
Thoughts and Prayers x

Hey all

Yes count is VH as far as the forecast goes

I've come and cleaned the downstairs, done the washing and made a batch of banana muffins/loaf. Not bad for 11:15

Glad to hear you are ticking a long Squirrel, can't imagine not having a touch or a hug from the person you love most apart from the children of course

Hope the plants are doing OK book - sounds like another busy day for you!

Sounds like you both have busy days cake and book.

I've joined the WAY Facebook group (I'm not a Facebook user) and as a result have 'friended' a few other people I know. The name of someone I know of popped up on someone else's post today, and I recalled that a friend had said this lady's husband had died suddenly a few weeks before John. So, I messaged her and asked if she fancied meeting up and had a reply and hopefully will have a coffee in the next few weeks.
I am certainly making myself do things which I wouldn't normally. I've been happy in my own little world with John and that's gone now and I have to find other things to fill my time and space.

My mum came over this morning with some rudbecias, sunflowers and cosmos that she'd grown from seed and we did some planting in my front garden (still resolutely ignoring the back!).

Afternoon ladies.

My plans went awry again today as ds1 up from the early hours unwell. He ended up on the sofa downstairs as he was too hot upstairs. Said he had stomach pains but thankfully it came to nothing but he was gibbering rubbish when I woke him up this morning and again when he reawoke later. He does this when he isnt well, so weird. (no temp or anything like that either) Seems fine now so fingers crossed he is ok for tomorrows shopping trip. (he is bad enough when he is well, clothes shopping is not his 'thing'!)

Have done a few jobs instead, booked trims for kids before the hols, got some shopping, housework etc. Nothing exciting. Oh and finally found someone to come to see my washer next week, cant stand it any longer

Cake we have some bananas which are decidedly past their use by date, may make banana muffins with the kids later. Even my minded kid who doesnt like bananas likes them!

Squirrels I like those plants your mum brought round, very colourful.

Hope ds1 is feeling better soon Willow.

I hope all the invalids are recovering well. My DS and partner both have hayfever and say awful this year.

I wish I had your energy book

Good news on the DH front. After a long week of will it, won't it, sanity has at last prevailed and he is to have fully funded palliative care at a local nursing home, which is also geared up for hospice type care and has 'good' CQC across board. Room a bit dark but quite large and we can put what we want in it, even take the cats for visits. He is fading every day, but at least he will be out of the hospital ward chaos.

It's 2 miles away so I'll dig out my electric bike for suitable days. DH used to see to its charging, tyres, brakes etc etc. It's all the little things, isn't it, like the fridge drain thingy bunged which involved a total clean out at 10 pm last night!?! Then knocked over my full glass of kefir so Febreze being sprayed constantly.

I'm glad the care position has been sorted Selena, albeit sad that he is at the stage where it is necessary. Look after yourself x

Sorry for butting in but how lovely you can take the cats to visit your DH, Selena

That's wonderful news Selena pleased for you both.

Evening all
Just settled down, and about to pick up some crotchet and watch Gardeners World .
Cake - you've been busy , busy! Plants all okay , no munching detected , and a lovely chat with my friend over scones, jam and clotted cream :)
Willow - it seems everything is heaping on you at the moment, hope he is well enough for shopping..!
Chasing - going outside your comfort zone is hard, but if it gives you a network of support and friendship, it will reap its rewards .
Selena - I was so relieved to read your post - it may be a little dark, but the comfort of knowing he is in the right place for his comfort must ( I presume) take a lot of stress off your shoulders , and allow you to rest a little.
Have a nice evening all xx

Thanks ds1 is fine now. He has been briefed on tomorrow no lie in no "I'm coming" just move your ass" [smiile]

Went for nice walk with kids up the estate grounds climbing trees, skimming stones and picking elderflowers had a lovely time.

Selena glad you got everything sorted out and your dh is in a nice place to get proper care. Although it is sad it is necessary. Hope he has a restful night after all the stress of moving.

Keep your fingers crossed that this batch of cordial isnt a disaster 😀😀

Morning all. Nothing like a 5am wake up call on a Saturday morning!

Bad night and lots of sniffing going on already. Never thought I'd wish for rain

book that sounds like a good day. We watched GW too and then I went to bed!

Selena I'm so sorry that you and DH are going through this, but I really hope that being out of hospital is helpful.

Squirrel I'm glad you're making a network of people.

Good luck for shopping today Willow and hope the elderflowers behave this time.

Morning all
was so busy trying to finish another square, forgot to come back and say goodnight!
ah Cake - that is so tough - hope you can have an easy day.
Willow - I'm sure the elderflower will be fine - fingers crossed
Well, today - a quick trip around the garden to look and check all is okay, then on this glorious day I am in the little horticultural shop until lunch - doubt it will be busy, but you never know. Nothing planned for this afternoon.
Have a good day all
Thoughts and Prayers x

Hope the shopping trip went well Willow.

Uggh at the early wake up call cake, will you get the chance for a nap?

I've taken ds2 to a birthday party and ds1 was meant to be meeting friends at the local carnival, but is annoyed that he is going to his dad's later and would have to cut carnival time short, and hence isn't going to the carnival - case of cutting off nose to spite face. I've tried talking to him about it and making suggestions, but he is insisting everything is okay (which it clearly isn't). Not sure what to do. I said last week when he mentioned it that he needed to sort with his dad about when he was collecting him - but he won't address things with his dad and is adamant that I'm not to. So hard, and no one for me to sound off to about it makes it harder.

No other plans for today, it's just lovely weather here so will probably potter in the garden a bit - might head over to the garden centre and get some bedding to fill some holes, but need to wait a bit as the carnival procession will be in progress atm and ids just get stuck in it.

Argh, DD is similar Squirrel

DH forbade me to nap after I did on Thursday and I said - don't ever let me nap again. shot myself in the foot

I'm so rock and roll that I will probably just go to bed at 9 (again).

Well eventually he came down and then got really upset and cried and wouldn't me do anything and eventually I gave him a lift to the next village. So he's got 90 minutes instead of the 4 hours he'd have had if he'd gone in the first place when "it just won't be long enough mum". Arggh. It's building to a blow-up but when I suggested I talk to his dad he got really upset.

Oh no Reminds me of the tantrum DD had because I wouldn't tell her how to spell "conclusion" and I was soooo mean so she spent half an hour tantrumming (I'd only asked her to sit at the table instead of her floor and to talk me through the experiment she'd done at her dad's so I could help her formulate said conclusion)

Hope you have some peace and quiet now. I'm waiting for DS to go to sleep and food delivery so I can indulge in crusty bread with real butter, fat coke and a chocolate bar before falling into bed. should be going for a jog

Well it was part tantrum and part growing up and wanting to order his own life, but not feeling he had the scope to do so and not wanting to hurt his dad, but not wanting to talk to him about things either.
To be honest it's been building, he didn't go on Mayday after another local fair.
I really feel for him - but I just don't know what to do, we don't live together, this is the hand he has been dealt - yes there are shit bits but in general he has a pretty good life, parents and grandparents who love and care for him, relative financial security. But he is growing up and wants to start making his own way, and has more restrains on his time than of his parents were together.
I should think he'll be fine tonight and tomorrow but it will no doubt surface again and again

Well those bunny ears ???? were meant to be

Yes I feel for DD too, constantly splitting her time.

I've eaten and watchd a bit if comedy. Cooling down a bit now, thank goodness as DS was so sweaty and restless earlier.

Full day planned for tomorrow and FIL coming to stay the night so extra bod in the house on a Monday morning as we all rush around for work and school.

Sleep well and extra hugs for tomorrow for all with it being fathers day
X