Tell me there's an innocent explanation for this...

[backscratcher]

Talk me down please.

Been with dp almost 3 years. Lovely guy, good relationship, no doubts whatsoever about him. Both in our late 30s, live together, I have one child from previous relationship. We're happy.

Tomorrow is my sister's birthday. Small party/family meal has been planned - details confirmed about 2 weeks ago. I discussed with dp who said he couldn't make it as he had to work overtime tomorrow and wouldn't be finished until late. Was unsure at what time exactly, but would be late. Overtime isn't uncommon in his workplace, but he doesn't tend to pick it up. We don't need the overtime money. Not well off, but not struggling - managing ok. I thought nothing of it.

Tonight he's gone upstairs for a bath and left his phone on charge in the kitchen. Phone buzzed with a message. It's an iphone where part of the message shows up on the homescreen but it's password protected and I don't know the password. Message said "6:30 suits me. XXXXXX does great french martinis!! ;-) Are you coming straight..." It was from David. I don't know a David. I don't know that he is friends with a David.
I googled the XXXXX place and it's a pub/restaurant place about a 40 minute drive away.

This was about an hour and a half ago.
He's in bed now and I'm sitting here shaking.

Please talk me down. This is innocent, right?

:-(

I wonder if "David" knows about you op?

It's irrelevant whether she does or does't. She wasn't the one in a relationshup with OP.

If she didn't know, she probably does now. Another reason I'd put money on him skulking back to OP with his tail between his legs soon enough.

Sorry to hear this. Try and enjoy your evening as much as you can.

I'm really sorry OP. I was hoping for a better outcome x

Don't get too pissed - you'll need your wits about you tomorrow.

Don't leave anymore messages. Do not drunk text. Leave your phone at home. Easier said than done I know, but the cunt has switched his phone off because he's expecting a barrage of phone calls and texts from you. Gives him ammo to paint you as unhinged (you know like they do the bastards!!!!).
He's gonna switch it back on at some point and just see one simple text telling him not to come home.

Imagine how deflated his fucking ego will be at that!!!

Don't answer if he rings or texts. Let the fucker shit himself.

Be prepared for him to tell you he really was out with a David, and that he didn't want to tell you, and the reason he lied was because he didn't want to upset you, as he didn't really want to go with you to your sisters...

If that's the case, and let's hope that it is, then he will be more than happy to let you read all the messages between him and David (and they won't have mysteriously disappeared or got deleted by accident). And he'll be happy to introduce you to David, intact he'll do whatever it takes to reassure you. If he's innocent and not playing away then he won't accuse you of snooping either - and let's face it you haven't at all.

I know you don't want to disrupt your Dsis's Bday, but I think in this case you may want to tell them, perhaps after the meal is over?

If you decide not to stay over with your Dsis, can you put the key in your locks at home so he can't get in when you're there? Tonight probably isn't the best night to deal with him in person if you think he'll ignore your message.

Wishing you the best of luck. Life can be a bitch sometimes, but remember that we can be bitches right back at life!!!

He likes my sister and family so can't see why he'd want to get out of it.

Be thankful for that. He gets on with your family.

But sometimes you just want to do your own thing..... Life is stressful enough as it is. It's essential to take time out for oneself.

BUT! He should have been honest with you. this says something about the dynamics of your relationship

Of course I have no time to RTFT.... as we're on page 26 already....
Sorry! LP here...

Try to enjoy your meal, have something really carby and something really sweet for dessert... maybe a big bit of brownie.

So sorry op

BirdBandit OP couldn't get on his phone and the number didn't flash up, she's already confirmed this many times

OP I'm so sorry to hear this, it says it all doesn't it that he's switched his phone off. But good for you for leaving that voice message, make sure you see it through!

I have no doubt he'll come back at some point playing the sob story and blaming you, wouldn't surprise me if he says he stayed at his parents house because he was so upset you'd accused him

You go and try to enjoy your night, easier said than done I know, but you're in the best place surrounded by your family and friends.

Don't feel you can't say anything tonight! I'm sure you're sister will be devastated and so angry for you and will want to be there for you!

Sending my love OP, you deserve so much better, tomorrow is a fresh new start! Xx

Iflyaway - don't post if you're not up to date.

I can't believe he hung up on you!

He's a total arse.

So sorry op , I hope you can lean on your sister.

Order yourself a cocktail too! A really festive one with those daft mini umbrellas in, it's impossible not to smile at a beverage with umbrellas in .

Are you for real Iflyaway? If you can't be arsed to read the full thread at least read a few of the replies above yours!

Enjoy your night the best you can OP

Well he's after admitting it now by turning his phone off...cheeky *!!! No more Dave. What a piece of shit!! I recommend the shirt with no arms!! And lock change. Leave him homeless!!

What a bastard. After what you've been through as well

Ghost him.

I wonder who David is.

Sugar, hard to admit that and be so searingly honest. Don't even know you but feel proud of you x

Why don't some posters like ifly read the whole thread?! head desk

Sorry op - know I've ranted a bit but I've been there and you won't believe the lies they are capable of spinning. My ex told the most astonishingly comprehensive lies.
Made me feel like I was going mad.
It's aĺl about self gratification, preserving the image. The lengths that they go to, to protect this are fucking unbelievable.

Don't let him do it. Sink a few and try and get that fucker out of your head.

Sorry I missed that, JUST trying to help.