Tell me there's an innocent explanation for this...

[backscratcher]

Talk me down please.

Been with dp almost 3 years. Lovely guy, good relationship, no doubts whatsoever about him. Both in our late 30s, live together, I have one child from previous relationship. We're happy.

Tomorrow is my sister's birthday. Small party/family meal has been planned - details confirmed about 2 weeks ago. I discussed with dp who said he couldn't make it as he had to work overtime tomorrow and wouldn't be finished until late. Was unsure at what time exactly, but would be late. Overtime isn't uncommon in his workplace, but he doesn't tend to pick it up. We don't need the overtime money. Not well off, but not struggling - managing ok. I thought nothing of it.

Tonight he's gone upstairs for a bath and left his phone on charge in the kitchen. Phone buzzed with a message. It's an iphone where part of the message shows up on the homescreen but it's password protected and I don't know the password. Message said "6:30 suits me. XXXXXX does great french martinis!! ;-) Are you coming straight..." It was from David. I don't know a David. I don't know that he is friends with a David.
I googled the XXXXX place and it's a pub/restaurant place about a 40 minute drive away.

This was about an hour and a half ago.
He's in bed now and I'm sitting here shaking.

Please talk me down. This is innocent, right?

:-(

I hope this is all just coincidence and really:

1. He'll be at work
2. David is a wrong number

Why not go to his workplace at 6.00 or whatever, if he is there great, have a bottle of champagne in your pocket and say i just wanted to tell you how much I love you.

God, this thread's mad. OP said herself it could be any night, not necessarily the party night and that she's just assuming.
Does anyone actually do stuff like my quote?! It's all very Ross from Friends if so.
Turning up to the workplace with a picnic basket - next you know it'll be a barbershop quartet.

Lady you may be reasonable and helpful but some other posters are treating it like a soap opera. And judging by other similar threads in the past it will quickly fill up tonight with people placemarking by asking the op what's going on just to enjoy the drama. Happens on every thread like this.

Op hope you are ok and managed to get some sleep.

Stranger things have happened OP, you can hang on to that, but it doesn't sound too promising. 🌺

Lady - I don't mean those who are posting actual words or advice/support, I'm talking about the ones putting . or * to 'mark' their place for later instalments. Just use the watch option, least that way if you want to keep up to date with someone's real life anxieties you can do it privately in your own (nosey) time.

Ring him at work at 4 o'clock with a "twisted ankle" or some such fakeable emergency that you need to let him know about urgently. If he's not at work then at least you know its tonight.
Sending you lots of hugs

OK - apologies, I didn't realise people did that. That isn't good.

Hope you got some sleep. I agree with not confronting him but getting yourself to the premier inn later.

I really wouldn't call the hotel. They likely won't give any information due to "data protection" and might even tip off "oh, mr cheatingbastard we had a message for you earlier". I'm really sorry you're facing this dilemma and at best that it's going to spoil your night with your family.

Sorry to say this but it does sound bad. I would either turn up myself, or have a friend do for me

Can I just point out that if "David" was a wrong number, why would it be saved under the name "David".

I hope you are OK OP, and I hope we are all wrong about this!

Op this is awful :(

What is your gut instinct saying? Hardly ever wrong.

It's not looking good I'm sure you will agree but you have to think this through properly as like pp have said if you confront him he will deny deny deny.

If he's up to no good then you deserve to find out and decide what to do

There is a chance that "David" of course sent a text to the wrong person. I had this from a friend once who texted me rather than her husband.....

That is the best scenario here

Just to play devils advocate though - my (straight!) DH enjoys drinking espresso martinis and has done when out with a solely male group of friends.

Agree that it's easy to send a text to the wrong person on an iPhone. I've done it numerous times 😳 It is a possibility.....

(DH enjoys drinking espresso martinis and has done when out with a solely male group of friends.

Mine too. In some restaurants and bars it'd be rude not to. The cocktails are part of the experience.

So might not be so strange. Unless it's a Toby Carvery, in which case...

OP I'm sorry your are going through this

There is no innocent explanation.

Your best tactic is to turn up at the restaurant/hotel. If you just question him he will come up with a load of lies and you will be doubting yourself.

Good point tuppence.Unless he knows someone Called David and David has sent the message to op's h by mistake I guess? That's the best case scenario.

I hope you managed to get some sleep op. I wouldn't have been able to not ask him straight away but I agree with pp that evidence is what you need to get the full picture.

Giant hug to you OP, sorry you're having to go through this.

I would probably take the turn up at the pub and see if they're there route, asking gives him a chance to lie.

Thinking of you

Hoping it's all innocent op, unfortunately your instincts are usually right.

I'd go to the hotel at 6.45pm if it were me. I'd look fucking gorgeous as well.

Very sorry, OP.

Doesn't look good.

I'm only going to add my voice to many on here - the only way you are going to get to know the truth of this is to be there by 6 tomorrow.

If he is up to no good, any form of trying to talk to him/check out whether he's working overtime/ask who David is etc. is going to be met with excuses. And he might actually be telling the truth -'Oh! I meant to tell you. David is a guy who used to work with us and he's moved back, a few of us are meeting for a drink a week Saturday at x to see him and his new boyfriend'. But - you aren't going to believe it even if he's telling the truth, because there will actually be a very high chance that he is lying. So you will be stuck, and if he's lying, he'll get a fright and cover his tracks very well - you'll never see another message come into that phone, for example.

You need to check it out and see for yourself. Because yes, this is too suspicious. That's a text from a woman, almost certainly. He doesn't know a David. There's no need for him to work overtime. Etc.

I'd tell your sister you may be slightly late, go there for 5.45 and check it out. If he's there and the worst is confirmed, at least you'll know and it won't be some horrible destructive few months trying deperately to get to the bottom of a mystery. And you can leave discreetly.

Is it your house?

Oh and sadly there isn't a 'not a type to cheat'.

Been on here seeing the proof of that for years unfortunately.

It's better to know. And the only way to know is to check it out first hand.

Hoping we're all wrong!!