Is anyone awake? I think I was just raped

[AskingForIt]

I'm in shock. I don't know what to do. My friends are sleeping

What happened?

That's a good idea, thank you

Oh OP of course it 'counts', he knew it wasn't what you wanted, he can't even claim he thought you did because you'd discussed it. Please call the police, it doesn't mean you have to go forward with a case against him if you decide later you don't want to but it's important you're taken care of and the police can make sure that happens. We're here to support you, you're not on your own

This is not your fault. I think most people have trusted people they perhaps shouldn't have, being trusting is not a failing

Thank you everyone, I'm so grateful to have someone to talk to

I said to him if I thought he was going to kill himself I would call the police but not report him

His talk about suicude is just a ploy to control you. You owe this rapist no sympathy whatsoever.

I don't want him to be the same as the others

Please be careful what you message, If it goes to court-then both of your messages can be used as evidence. The best thing to do is stop messaging him entirely and ignore anything he says-keep them all.
Have called someone yet? A friend?
I know this is contrite to say but you will get through this and remember you are not at fault in anyway.

My ex boyfriend was controlling, so controlling he started to have sex with me while I slept probably to remind me that he was always in control

I had a message from a friend. But she is probably trying to sleep as has to be up at 4

Just checked and I said that on the phone rather than in a message

I'm so sorry this has happened to you. It is not your fault this man made the decision to rape you. Not your fault.

This may make me sound really uninformed but I didn't know until very recently that there were clinics where physical evidence could be gathered and kept on file while you decided if you wanted to press charges or not. I thought you had to decide there and then if you wanted to make a formal accusation. Please consider going and doing this, a month from now you may have a clearer picture and a firmer resolve.

Not your fault.

Thank you. I've googled and there is one near me. I think I will call once I've regained the power of speech

If he kills himself then that's on him, not you and tbh he's just trying to manipulate you to keep himself safe. Get out, get to the police. You may feel it's too much because of your accusations towards your ex but he knows this also and it doesn't matter ... if it has happened then it has happened and you have a right to your personal safety and his prosecution. Go. Run. Now.
To any place of safety (women's shelter?) xxxx
All my love

He left before I could even kick him out and he has admitted it or as good as in messages to me

Just called and they are shut until Monday

That's really annoying but as much as it may disgust you, don't shower between now and Monday and save the clothes you are wearing in a plastic bag. You may decide not to press charges but just having a record of the evidence will give you breathing space to gather your thoughts.

I'm desperate to wash. I want to wash it all away

Can you phone your local police station and see if there are any other places open tomorrow?

Call the 101 tell them what has happened, as if they know of any centers opened near or around you. They will direct you to the right help and they have the expert knowledge to give you the correct level of support you now need.

Too ashamed of myself to call them again. Don't think they will believe me

Please phone them, they will believe you. Sadly I'm sure they see many cases where men take advantage of already vulnerable women.

What Scrumpernickel said. They will believe you

Have you got in touch with a RL friend yet?

Phones are all on silent