Is anyone awake? I think I was just raped

[AskingForIt]

I'm in shock. I don't know what to do. My friends are sleeping

Just read this thread. Absolutely stunned at the behavior of the police. Wishing you strength today to point out what the law says.
We believe you.

Stay strong OP

Good luck today.

Stay strong, OP! We're all in your corner.

Sarf Essex, BTW.

Good luck OP

Another one in your corner today.

Thank you so much for all the support

Good luck OP thank you for pursuing this. At the very least it leaves a record that will help support any other future victims and they will thank you for thathe. I'm sorry the police officer was such a knob . Hope you get on better today

Good luck today lovely.

Another one saying that you can request a different officer.

(Slightly different) but I had police issue my abuser and rapist with a harassment order and when the officer came out to me he flicked through the pages and pages of messages from my abuser, found one I'd sent back and then told me "It's not even harassment, you replied to him"
"Once" I said. "To ask him to leave me alone and try and placate the sitauation". He told me it didn't matter. So the next time I called the police I gave them the officers name and requested that another officer attended. They did ask if I wanted to make a complaint against the officer but I didn't. They did, however, send someone else out to me who was so much better

Sometimes some officers are shit because some people are shit. But don't give up.

I'm Kent btw. x

I believe you OP
Good luck today

Thinking of you today op

Sending you positive thoughts today asking will be thinking of you

Looks like no one is interested. The person who was supposed to help me speak to the police has just come back to me and said that the case isn't continuing (which I know because they say he did nothing wrong). No offer of helping me talk to the police. Nothing about what the police have said. I give up. I'm just going to pretend it never happened because it's clearly not important

Who was this person, OP? Who do they work for?

And that is absolutely outrageous, I'm fuming on your behalf.

And when did it become a case? Fro what you said it sounded like the police didn't even bother to keep a record of what you'd said?

Independent sexual violence advisor. She helped me before. Rape crisis suggested she could help with the police.

The police logged everything as the uniformed officers did everything they needed to. It was the sexual offences team who then came and said he did nothing wrong. So it's been closed

Oh OP I'm so sorry I have no idea what to suggest next but hopefully someone will. I'm in Oxfordshire if you need anything. X

I'm so sorry for you op. This is what's wrong with society, I can't believe you would be considered to be exaggerating when he himself has admitted it.
I'm devastated for you, so so sorry. I hope you have some real life support and stay away from this man. You were so brave to speak to the police (I never could) and you shouldn't have been treated like this. Please don't minimise what happened to you because the police have, please don't second guess yourself. I hope you'll be okay soon. There are men out there who deserve you and aren't like this, it's not a case of 'men will be men'. I hope you're safe.

I would never speak to the police again, that's for sure

Wtf, that's awful OP. So sorry this has happened to you. I'm not sure what practical advice I can offer (I had a similar situation last year re: SARC/ISVA trying to tell me not to bother reporting a rape, but mine was historical so no evidence and I haven't given up the idea that one day I'll report it anyway).

I just wanted to know how angry I am on your behalf. How dare anybody tell you he's done nothing wrong? We're all here for you if you need a handhold or a vent and hopefully somebody with some advice will be along soon. Hang on in there. You're not alone and we all believe you.

Thank you

OP, I'm so so sorry they've responded like this.

Please remember though that even though they're not doing anything/accepting it was rape, it doesn't mean it wasn't rape.

The law isn't perfect (and these officers' conduct sounds far from it), but it's not the law that determines if you were raped. If that's how it worked, then someone like me wouldn't have been raped because i never reported them.

Take care of yourself the same way you would have if the police were getting involved. And whatever you do now, whether you take a break to gather strength, keep fighting or drop trying to report it, know that what he did to you was wrong. Very, very wrong. He may never face a jury, but that doesn't change the facts.

Thank you

I'm so sorry, This is a rubbish society we live in. You must be exhausted. I can only imagine what a whirlwind of thoughts you are experiencing right now.

I messaged my ISVA back but she hasn't replied. I spoke to a counsellor this morning who tried to find another ISVA in my area but there isn't one. So if she doesn't want to help me there isn't anything I can do. Other than try to take on the police myself, which I really can't face at the moment

Her response made it clear to my mind that I'm being fobbed off because it has happened before