Dating Thread 117 - summer loving!

[InfoSec21]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread.

I got the impression that on Bumble many men would swipe right on a lot of women and then wait to see who matched and then frequently not reply. Like Tinder but the women have to put themselves out there by messaging first. I think a lot of men on Bumble are probably looking for something casual.

Info maybe try spreading the net wider regarding your type? Not everyone is willing to put it all out there on a profile. I'm quite reserved and therefore find writing about myself online quite excruciating and therefore my profile is quite brief and factual, but nevertheless I like to think that I have something about me, which you would find out if you got to know me. [That sounds a bit like I'm trying to date the thread! I'm not! I'm at the other end of the country from you I think]

Betty odd guy, who asks that? Sounds shallow and vain. Hope Mr Theatre turns out OK.

I have a new mutual like on OKC who looks rather good. I hope he messages as I'm not sure that I can find it within me to message first at the moment.

Thought I'd update..what there is to update anyway!
The man I met k is still away on holiday..had 2 dates before he left and got on so so well..I'm actually really missing him & he says he is me and just wants to come back! So the 2 weeks have dragged but he will soon be back and I'm starting to get nervous at what's looming..exciting but nerve wracking!
Good luck to all on here!

info I am the same, I'm on POF, tinder and bumble (and a few others), I get quite a few messages but I don't find these people interesting or atractive, I probably message one person a week at the most. I don't think I'm fussy but I do want someone who has similar interests to me and not someone who's too normal and boring. One man who messaged me last night just seemed too boring, I asked him to tell me a bit about himself and he said 'I work during the week, have weekends off and go out with my mates', I didn't bother writing back as I was hoping for a bit more.

Minop I accidentally super liked a couple people on Tinder the other day, one really wasn't my type, his profile picture was probably one of the worst I have seen (think Wayne from Wayne and waynetta), I just hoped we didn't match but of course the next day I had a message from him, I quickly unmatched.

Bumble is dead for me, hardly anyone near by and those that are on there are on tinder too.

I don't find the men are looking for something casual on bumble in my area. Certainly less so than tinder. I swiped right to everyone and then messaged those I liked.

Pav even factual and basic is good, it's better than just ask etc.

The people I don't like are the ones holding up a drink in every picture or the brigade that have a photo set that looks like screenshots from an episode of Benefit Scroungers or whatever.

Totes agree with LM, I'm past trying to create something out of nothing and forcing conversation out of a few words with someone.

Info Oh dear that does sound grim! Better to be single.

Faron maybe I will give Bumble another go in a while. Perhaps I was being too picky in my swiping.

Lana thanks I'll give it a shot. This is forcing me way out of my comfort zone. Which is how we grow apparently 🙄

All I've taken that approach. Tweaked it a bit. Unliked ManOfVeryFewWords on OKC as I have lots and like to use them. Bumble is really busy (ha!) and I can see how it gets addictive. And in the way of work. Might get the app off my phone and keep it to evenings only.

LoveMusic I totally hear you. I need interesting and interested. I know casting the net widely is a good idea but if the guy CBA to talk about his interests and what makes him unique then I CBA either.

When I started on OLD I was very particular about the men I was interested in. Unfortunately they weren't interested in me. So I decided to message some that didn't quite tick my boxes but seemed ok otherwise.
If their messages were boring then they were quickly dropped. But if they seemed interesting then I suggested a date. I enjoyed my first dates with all except one. There's only one I would've liked to see again but he wasn't interested. It was good practice and a good ego boost.
Mr Gym was one I had seen on POF but decided he was too young and not my type. Then we matched on tinder. And so far it's all good.
If it doesn't work out then I'll do the same again. I just like meeting people for coffee

Maybe I'll give Bumble another go too, see if there's more than four guys in my area lol. I did try one site I saw advertised on facebook, Mature Dating for over 40's.....god it was grim, like a line up from Jeremy
Kyle lol. I tried OKC but found guys just seemed to want a shag. I will see how it goes with Mr Theatre tomorrow and then I might just leave it a while and maybe try and meet someone the old fashioned way when I'm out and about, not that I go out much. I quite like the messaging aspect of these sites as it does provide some evening amusement but I'm not so keen to rush into actually going on a date, that's where I come unstuck.

Runnny I'm the opposite. I hate the first meetings so I keep those to a minimum. Which probably doesn't help my cause I know!!

I hated Match and POF . I met a good guy off a small parents dating site couple of years ago which was ok but expensive.

Then went on OKC and find it best. I filled in some questions. I hide anyone over 30% enemy and look at guys 80% and above. I have a profile that is quite direct that Im not right wing etc and that Im sporty. Ive had some good dates in last 4 months. Several guys I liked. A couple of second dates. Im in a city so that helps.

But it is @_*&^ing tough. You just got to be patient. Friends told me to just treat it as enjoying going for a coffee and a chat and keep it in perspective. And I try to.

I also do some socialising through Meetup and you can meet some interesting folk there. Have met a couple of guys I dated through that. But my aim is to enjoy myself and meet interesting people through it and not date- dating just a side result. Have met some new friends through Meetup that have widened my social life a lot. And that helps

I think its good to do everything if you can -OLD, be brave and do some new social things , and also ask your friends and contacts if they know anyone. Friends like to help. Ive set a couple of friends up on a date - didnt work out but they were happy for the date.

And so ends my lecture

V good lecture, tough, Mum

I've caved and used my lunch hour to send (short but profile referring, question ended) messages to 6 of the 8 Bumble blokes I've matched with so far. I'm exhausted; if none of them reply I shall be vexed. Vexed and irked.

I do like the app though and the quality of men seems much improved (in terms of personalities not just looks that appeal to me) so I'm hopeful. And rueing the OKC subscription. Ask me in 24 hours though.....

Though!!!! FFS

Mumfun good advice, I have joined some meet up groups but not around to going. That can be my thing for May.

CoverMe I will be interested to hear about your Bumble responses.

My new mutual like on OKC replied to me and sounds fine, it remains to be seen whether he continues to message.

Messaging some new people had certainly taken my mind of my second date guy. In all honesty we probably aren't well suited but I found him quite attractive and felt like I didn't have any alternatives.

Pavonia a response!!! A 1/6 strike rate!!! Yes, in answer to my message that ended with a Q I got "Hello Coverme". Literally, that's it. I feel like replying "look mate, you're going to have to do better than that" but what's the point?

Who was talking about fake accounts on OKC? It did occur to me, you join, they get 5 or 6 pretty decent and normal looking"blokes" liking you and you think "wow, this makes a change from random scuzzy old pervs" and sign up? If that's the case then I've been had
Hey ho, the other 5 fuckers have got 29 hours to reply, so we'll see.....

CoverMe that is a pathetic response. The others might respond later this evening during "peak hours". Stay cheerful, who knows, you might find a gem.

Oh yeah, I'm just extracted big jaxomum comedic value. Only way to not fall on my sword, really

By the way, Info I thought "no dating the thread" meant don't spend more time on here than actively trying to date?
In which case you're fair game .

"Extracting maximum" that was meant to read punts phone out of the window

No it does mean don't date anyone on the thread. As it has happened I think and the results weren't great. Also this needs to be a forum for support and dating the thread could leave people vulnerable I think.

4th date with Mr Naval Officer this weekend, I'm staying at his quarters on the base for the weekend. He loves Bounty Bars so I'm going to make a chocolate coconut cake and take a nice bottle of wine...hope this goes well!

Gosh this thread moves fast!

So The Nurse cane off night shift and travelled to another city with me to collect a new car with me - I'm taking that as a good sign.

I'm wavering on whether or not to tell him how I feel this weekend - it's only been a couple of months but earlier this week I'd told him I'd wished he hadn't had to leave and he messaged me back saying he felt the same and if he had his way he'd never need to leave, ever. So that's boosted my resolve somewhat. I don't know - I guess I'm afraid of scaring him off.

That sounds like a lovely idea polarbear.
Have fun!
I've started writing again. I'm halfway through a book about online dating. I have a LOT of stories to add in.

Good luck, Polar