Dating Thread 117 - summer loving!

[InfoSec21]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread.

Charming man.

Onwards and upwards

What happened, cult? He told you it's what he does after he ghosted you? Or he warned you that that's what he's like while you were seeing each other?

Oh god I hate people who "warn you" at the beginning of a relationship.

They are the WORST.

bant

He told me at the start he does it when he's bored of people.

Spent all day yesterday telling me he wanted to see me again and he would make more effort and then blocks my number, which is always fun!

Lucky escape. Next!

Sounds psychopathic!

Next!!

PSychopathic and utterly exhausting behaviour - a bullet dodged!

Had a good result this morning. Was looking on PIG and saw someone new. Read her profile and it was mostly amazing. Like, loads of profile crossover and she was funny. Just seemed the same personality and style. I say mostly amazing because she lives 45 mins away and has no car. That's normally instant bin but had to overlook due to how spot on she sounded.

Dropped her a carefully written message and sat back. I thought right, there is so much crossover that if she doesn't message me back, it can only be down to looks. About 15 mins later came a nice reply. She can't really use her phone at work so will see what she sends later.

This one could be interesting. It's all BS of course at this point but it has potential signs.

Will call her Miss Chic.

Sounds promising info as long as she doesn't live in the middle of nowhere.

cult how rude and childish of him. At least he warned you of his knobish ways though.

Hi! Ok if I join you? I need help!! I'm completely new to OLD having been in a relationship for over 30 years. I've signed up to POF this morning and I'm getting loads of messages but some of them are from Scotland and the USA (I'm in South Wales)! Is there somewhere on the site that I've missed that I can set my ideal distance (eg 15-20 miles)?!!

I believe you can do that from your computer but not mobile device, aleto - users must have a photo, messages must be at least so many words long, senders must be in the UK - not sure about specific distances though

cult - as others have said, if someone tells you who they are, listen to them.

Sorry though, it's shitty behaviour

Definitely learned my lesson!
He won't be missed in all honesty, glad he's done it

aleto most of my messages were "sorry, you're too far away" which is mainly argued with! The last straw was someone being rude so now I don't bother replying if it's a "no". But, I use the mobile app and only get messages from ppl in the UK so you must be able to set that at least?

cult sounds charming

I don't get why so many ppl seem to be weirdos on OLD. I've seen a few guys I know in RL on Tinder, Bumble, Zoosk and POF and they're normal guys, but not my type unfortunately for the only 1 who isn't friends with my ex.

I have had a small surge of messages since changing my profile slightly but mainly from people I have spoken too of met before. Mr Boatman who I decided lived to far away and only seemed to be after one thing (though this time he says that's not what he's looking for and has invited me to his boat for a BBQ), Mr Machanic who I dated 2 years ago who I now know was married and had a pregnant wife when I was seeing him and a couple messages from new people but no one that I really like the look of. But I can't moan, at least I have some messages.

Love - Mr Mechanic: proof that leopards do not change their spots?

What a creep

I had a few new guys recently.

One is 5'7" - I know, I am sizeist, but they have to be at least a bit taller than me

One sent me a message that just said "cheeky", I did reply, so today he sent me a message that just said "morning", so two words. Pratt (

I've decided I can't be bothered anymore with dating sites or apps and am going back to basics meeting people through things I enjoy doing. I've just joined a gym too. Dating sites/apps just leave me feeling angry and they are just a waste of time. If this is how you meet future partners then sod it I can't be bothered. After watching First Dates I'm so glad I don't put myself through dating anymore. I'm only 34 but I just think dating in the 21st century is a waste of time. People today have unrealistic expectations and want the perfect partner which simply doesn't and never has existed. I'm open to romance but I'm not actively looking anyway.

Oh the last message I got from weirdo was "I love you" I mean seriously? What are these people on?

OK, after leaving the weekend clear to hopefully meet up with Mr Teacher I haven't heard from him. He asked on Wednesday night if I would like to chat on the phone and I said that I would prefer to meet up in person and he read my message but didn't reply and hasn't been online since.

After my date on Tuesday night with Mr Bike who I didn't really fancy from his photo and fancied even less in person I decided that I wouldn't go on any dates where I didn't find the guy at least a bit attractive in his photo. I really wanted a date tomorrow as DS2 is with his Dad and DS1 is revising for exams and wants me out of the house! I have loads of housework and DIY I want to do but have been forbidden from doing it.

I had thought I would go out with my walking group but their walk goes right by where previous iron Mr Outdoors lives and stops for lunch in his local cafe that we went to together - what are the chances of that in London! It would be super awkward to see him in his local park, he would think I was stalking him as I live right over the other side of London.

Mr Professor has just asked if I would like to meet up this weekend. I am pretty sure I don't fancy him but he sounds interesting so maybe I will see if he can meet up tomorrow to get me out of the house to make DS1 happy.

Ok I'm going for a coffee (possibly lunch if it goes well) tomorrow with the bloke I've been chatting to this week.

Despite the fact that he told me he deleted his profile.

I will be cautious though. I hadn't thought of it being a control thing until warnings on here, more just being a bit keen / soppy.

He's funny though and we have such a laugh on the phone.

I haven't been checking my messages either (haven't told him that though). It feels a bit weird. Juggling.

@justmeand2DC even if by the remotest chance you bumped into him wouldn't it be obvious that you were with a group of other people and not just skulking around in a trench coat wearing a false moustache? I think you should go on your walk!

Hi I haven't posted for a while, but keeping up with thread. It's good to read the positives and join in the for the ghosting and weirdness!

Still seeing Mr Bike (Justme - yes another cyclist!). we're now on date 8 I think. I'm trying to enjoy it, like and fancy him, but after going through getting excited and previous dating/relationships ending and now with work stress I'm feeling a bit meh about life in general.

I think I'm struggling with the way OLD works. It's crazy as I've used it since last summer, but the speed of it now seems odd. One minute you don't know someone next minute you see them regularly with lots of written background but no shared friends. Then 'boom' it can end and everything completely goes.

Thankfully this thread exists to help keep things in perspective!

Justme you could always take a trench coat and facial hair and pop them on if he comes into the cafe 😂 missing the original point

JustMe would you be willing to send a message to Mr Teacher suggesting a specific time to meet up?

Out regarding the gig, I often avoid telling people exactly where I'm going in advance. One guy effectively accused me of being paranoid but I think your story shows that I'm not.

Cult I think when people warn you about their behaviour in advance they are in a way seeking your permission to behave badly. You are right that you are better off without him.

Info fingers crossed. I think you are right to compromise on the car thing. Sometimes people have a good reason for not driving or it is temporary. If she is a great person it will be worth the extra effort.

Countryside good luck with the real life dating.

I'm exhausted and not in the mood for a date but I've put a new photo up. Now .

Out sack off the good one and go for cheeky.