Dating Thread 117 - summer loving!

[InfoSec21]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread.

I don't mind 2 texts as the second is just sort of a continuation of the first: Would you like to do X on such and such a night so we can see each other sooner? Second text: or we could do Y on another night?

But I find it soooo hard to let someone down. Painful as it is, I would prefer to be the one who is let down as Mr Outdoors did it to me. Although maybe I have the same problem as Mr Bike, if it's not done totally bluntly I carry on hoping that they may change their mind. Mr Outdoors has said that he doesn't think he's as keen as me but that he misses our text chats and so we are still texting as much as ever. So in his mind we are probably platonic friends now but I am still hoping he will want more again at some point.

JustMe The situation with Mr Bike is why people shouldn't ask about a second date whilst on a first date. You need to tell him that after thinking about it you don't want to meet up again.

Is Mr Teacher far from you geographically? Neither person gets to dictate terms, but if you really don't want to speak on the phone first just tell him that you are not doing that but can meet for a coffee (after all if anything is going to happen you need to meet eventually). If he won't do that then it may be that he is someone who is used to dictating terms and getting his own way, alternatively perhaps there is some other reason why he is reluctant to meet in person.

Mr Navy Officer is not too good at whatsapping me in between dates. It's annoying. He does message me everyday and then I message back, see he's been online then he sometimes messages back hours later.

Am I just overthinking?

We haven't sorted out a day for next date yet but he's normally quite spontaneous.

Polar He might just be busy, or it might be a sign that he's less into you than you are into him. Would you be better off just doing regular texting rather than WhatsApp?

Spontaneity is fine, but it does rather rely on the other person being available according to their whim. If it suits you go along with it, but on the other hand if you are trying to plan your life around kids, friends etc as well as him you might want to let him know that you want to plan ahead. Do you always wait for him to suggest a date? Maybe take the initiative?

@Bant I love that site summary. Another useful list!

I have been chatting to a bloke for a few days now... didn't think I was going to be able to meet him for a while but a mate cancelled on me so I'm now going for coffee / lunch at the weekend.

He has told me he's deleted his OLD profile already.

And we have had some quite intense conversations / texts.

Now I'm bricking it that there won't be a spark in real life... or that there will be too much of a spark!

I have established beyond a doubt that this one does not have a problem with pre-marital sex though

@justmeand2DC this is a pretty grim time of year for teachers! Most of the ones I know are on their knees in the run up until half term!

Corydora perhaps I've become horribly cynical with all this, but someone telling you that they have deleted their OLD when they haven't even met you yet makes me suspicious.

@Pavonia do you think it's weird?

I think it's the aspect of OLD I struggle with the most though.

If I met someone in any other context and I was remotely interested in them, I wouldn't be looking around elsewhere whilst I worked out whether this was going anywhere.

I do see it's not the norm though.

Cory - it's extremely premature for someone to do that when they've only talked online. It could be a red flag of someone who is prone to being possessive and/or controlling.

Having been in more than one abusive relationship this would make me very wary

Corydora not weird necessarily. I would consider the possibility that he may be trying to convince you that he is committed when he may not be. The thing is you haven't met yet. It may be that he is great and honest but be careful when you meet (as always).

I may be over sensitive at the moment as I think that the guy I met last weekend was a manipulator and a liar.

Yey gods:

"THERE HAS TO BE A GOOD REASON TO TAKE IT OFF THE SHELF ;-)

I FIND THIS SITE VERY BORING... CANT BELIEVE HOW PISS POOR IT IS.. SADLY NOBODY HERE EVEN HALF INTERESTS ME.. SEEMS SINGLEDOM IS THE FUTURE

ONLY THE VERY VERY BUSTY SHOULD APPLY

NORMAL AND GENUINE... SEEKING SAME...JUST TAKING A PEEK TO SEE WHAT IS AVAILABLE.. IF YOU LIKE.. JUST MSG.. EASY EH ;-)MEET ME ADDS WILL BE IGNORED... A MSG WORKS FAR BETTER... BLAH BLAH BLAH... I DONT CARE FOR MONEY.. SO OVER RATED

VERY BUSTY IS A MUST ;-)

YOU NEED TO KNOCK LOUD,COS IM ALWAYS PLAYING MUSIC

I WILL OPEN MY HEART AND SHOW YOU INSIDE,MY LOVE HAS NO PRIDE,I FEEL WITH YOU,I HAVE GOT NOTHING TO HIDE,SO OPEN YOUR EYES AND LOOK INSIDE

THIS SITE IS A WASTE OF TIME... NOBODY EVER TALKS

PLASTIC IS FANTASTIC"

Also has a photo of an enhanced pair of breasts as one of his pics, which says on it 'Get implants'. Is it rude to reply 'get a penis extension'?

dailydance just seen your post. Hope you're ok.
I know that horrible feeling when you think you're being lied to but don't know how to prove it.
You need to confront him and then go with your gut instinct. OLD is addictive. He may just like the swiping & the satisfaction of getting a match. But you need to find out what's going on.

outto that's fantastic! I wonder if he gets any messages.
I think your reply is great.

We've talked on the phone a few times as well but I appreciate the heads up - I must try and be sensible!

And if not then Implant Man sounds like a GREAT backup plan

....and little fishes, Out!

Only the very very busty should apply just made me laugh a lot.

I really hope people like that are not the majority users!!!

Daily - is it possible his profile is still up simply because he's forgotten to remove it? I never removed mine when I met my ex husband nor my ex partner - I just never bothered visiting the sites again

pav yes he is pushy - he's just texted again to ask me what direction I see our relationship going in!

Corydora yes I've messaged Mr Teacher to say that I would prefer to meet up in person but I know his schedule must be busy as he's a secondary teacher and it's exam season! But he lives in the north London borough my DC go to school in and teaches in South London so probably travels through my borough daily!

I've come across quite a few similarly themed profiles on POF, Info 😖

Better pop on down to John Lewis to pick out your dinnerware now, Just 😜

I think it's good of guys to tell us upfront what total knobs they are :) They could do it in fewer words though!

Lol DoI. And now I have MrProf wanting to meet up over the weekend however I want to keep my calendar free for Mr Teacher. I am hoping Mr Teacher may be the one to take my mind off Mr Outdoors - who has texted me three times today despite telling me it wasn't working because I was keener than him!

Just - I'd be knocking Mr Outdoirs in the head too. You want more than he's wanting to give: translation, he's still looking but keeping you in the fire just in case he needs a leg over and nothing better has come along.

Now, I may be being unfair but if he genuinely wanted to be your friend and knows that you want more he'd be backing off for a while...

Just Me you are certainly in demand! I need some of whatever you've got!

Just sorry if I've missed a post, but did you reply between the 2nd and 3rd texts? If not: that's creepy.