Dating Thread 117 - summer loving!

[InfoSec21]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread.

Hello again, just checking in - been keeping up to date with all the goings on but have had major phone issues so couldn't post.
I ended things with Mr Pizza about a week ago and heard nothing from him. Started feeling really down about how close you can get with people you meet OLD but then as you have no social connections you just disconnect when it ends. Anyway, he texted and we are going to meet up next week as friends which is great as I really did like him and we got on so well - think I may have a new best friend!
Got a date tomorrow night with someone I will call Mr Thesp. Met through OK cupid - promising start but he has started hunning and babeing so I think we may have sorted a date too soon, but will see how it goes tomorrow.
My xmas fling (Mr Football) has also tried reconnecting! I tell you, they are like buses! I think if tomorrow's date doesn't work will try to have a bit of fun with Mr F. I just haven't been able to get him out of my head even though I know it's a non- starter, but may just need to get him out of my system!
Wish I could come along to one of the meet-up's, but the kids are with me the majority of the time so would be tricky. I hope that you all have a great time, but also carry on chatting through here as is so great to be able to gain all the knowledge from the experience of everyone on here and it seems to be a diamond bunch of people. Why are we all still single?!!

Turns out the guy I've been seeing for 8 months is still on Bumble. I thought we were boyf/ girlfriend but no idea now. Hmm... I wonder if anyone here has been on a date with him

dailydance that's bad. How did you find out? Is he definitely swiping?

I saw a profile just now (before my laptop decided I was running too many things so just shut itself down) that said "if you don't look like your photos kindly send me some genuine ones before we meet up so I know what you look like", does he really think people think they don't look like their photos? Or that the sort of person who put up fake or doctored photos is suddenly going to send him a different set?
Really odd.

Returning to infosec's buying a car analogy....

What would the equivalent of "Are there any advisories on the MOT" be? That's got to be bad behaviour in past relationships, surely.

I've oft thought the whole gamut of the passive aggressive "Only into people who aren't going to mess me around/ no players" etc is the direct equivalent of "No timewasters" in the classified ads, and just as futile.

(Yes, I've just bought a new car, and am still trying to sell the old one. The absolute definition of tedium ).

I found out by downloading the app again after I heard a match notification ping on his phone. I didn't say anything- he could always say it's a text notification 🙄. He may or may not be swiping

Pav I'm not sure, I looked at a few profiles for free before I joined and then the site blocked me looking at more and instead directed me to the signing up page. I looked at some more on another computer but the same thing happened. I'm not sure if it was due to cookies or the IP address or what, someone more tech-minded could probably circumvent it.

From what I remember the few people I managed to view the profiles of were all there after I joined and presumably subscribed members. I'm not sure whether you can contact people without joining.

I could do a search for you if you told me your criteria to give you an idea of numbers or if you know the names of any you fancy I can see if they're really there?

dailydance sorry to hear that.

justme but you can create an account and profile without subscribing can't you. I've signed up, i.e. created an account. I haven't created a profile yet or subscribed but I can do basic searches. I figure that some of the people I'm seeing don't have a paid membership and I'm not sure of the implications of that.

Pav, OK I didn't manage to do that, I had thought you could but ended up being taken to the payment page! But I was sure I wanted to join as a friend let me log on to search using her details. With your basic account can you contact people or just view?

justme just view, which is why I wondered how many of the people I'm looking at are in the same position. Do you have a good response rate to your messages or do you wait for people to message you?

I have just realised that the iron that I really want to meet, Mr Teacher, has been online to message me asking if I want to talk on the phone. He's offline now and probably in bed if he's a teacher! I hate talking to dates on the phone before meeting in person but maybe he's too busy to meet up in exam season.

Meanwhile Mr Bike who I met tonight is super-keen to meet up again but I'm not sure if there's any point as there's no chemistry on my side.

This one is for stubbornstains

Pav I never thought that when I message people and they view me and they don't reply it could be because they aren't signed up! Can you "like" people without joining? Then if they were signed up could they message you? And could you then message back?

When I first joined up I "liked" 4 people and 2 of them messaged me and I met up with one and dated him for 2 1/2 months. It finished a week ago and I still miss him although we have decided we will stay in text contact and I hope we can become good friends.

Since venturing back on GSM last week I have decided to initiate messaging myself if they seem compatible and messaged 8 men, 2 of whom messaged back wanting to meet up. I also have had 3 other men message me first wanting to meet up, one of whom may be compatible.

I need to read back, and I shall. But for now I'm tired.

Because I've been discussing music and art with AR . All. Sodding. Night.
Even if there's no spark I reckon he'll be a new friend, so hurrah for OLD

Haven't really checked OKC or Bumble for new irons, my bad.

Later, daters.

Hello. Can I join in please?
Nice to meet you all.
My kisstory: Tinder was great for making some quirky friends who I message occassionally.
Guardian Soulmates was a disaster. I had high expectations but a very small pool of low quality people in the end.
POF - on the site for about 3 weeks - quite embarrassed to be on there for some reason. Viewed a school dad profile out of curiosity and then immediately realised he would know! And he viewed me after. Awkward. Still see him daily. Still avoid eye contact. He wasn't my type and we didn't exchange messages Sonot too Awkward I guess.
Then had a bad day. Feeling lonely and lost. And I start exchanging messages with an nice guy. We've spoken on phone for too many hours (too quick too soon so hopefully Thread will keep me grounded???). I can't sleep. It's 2am. We are meeting on weekend. I want to be relaxed but I'm excited. He seems sincere. I never thought this would happen. It might not but I need a little joy in my FT working parent life so going to tentatively have hope....

Rebel that seems very promising!

Well, I've been feeling very rough today and The Nurse decided to come over this evening to see me. He stayed until gone 1am even though I was about the worst company possible seeing as I slept for a good portion of it. He got me drinks, found my paracetamol for me and held me. I didn't find out until he was leaving that he's on shift at 7am.

I think this man is a keeper - I'm just a little bit more smitten with him every time I see him.

Ahh. That sounds so sweet doidontihavethetalk . I hope that you feel better soon, it's nice to have someone caring for you like that.

I think I'll call mine NedFlanders.

DoI he sounds wonderful.

Rebel fingers crossed for you.

Cover that sounds better than any of my chats.

JustMe it is certainly possible to Like without being paid up. I guess they allow that as it encourages activity on the site. It sounds like you are doing well on it. When I have written my profile I will do some liking and let you know what happens.

I shouldn't laugh but the profiles you come across info are funny! And I thought us females had it bad ...

I've been talking to a new potential iron for the last few days. He seems nice, we get along well, have a few things in common and he's local to me - in fact, it transpires we socialise in the same areas (small world)

He is newly single and has 3 children - which is fine but I am a little concerned about the newly single bit as I dont want to be a rebound but we shall see ....

We have exchanged numbers and set up a coffee date - going to stick to my rule of an hour max, just need to finalise a day now.

I've been thinking a little about my last date (the one where I felt I had no spark) and I realise that attraction is a big deal for me, as shallow as that may sound. I was definitely forcing it with him - he was not my type at all, I just liked the idea of potentially starting something so now at least I know how important it is (that's so superficial of me isn't it)

Cover - All.Sodding.Night chats are such a great start. Here's hoping for a meeting IRL soon so you can report back on sparkage.

Ruby - that isn't shallow at all. Attraction has to be there or what's the point? If you don't feel anything but lukewarm friendly feelings evolution is telling you something. That probably makes me sound a bit kooky but my experiences make me think there's something to it.

You really are not shallow.

Pav so looking at the FAQ it seems that the difference between paying and free is that if you don't pay you have no way of contacting others. So I guess if I liked someone and they liked me back but didn't initiate messaging or reply to my message that could indicate that they would like to chat but haven't joined. That scenario hasn't happened but if it did I can't see any way of chatting as presumably it's forbidden to put contact details in your profile and I wouldn't want to anyhow.
So I guess GSM is hoping that with a free profile you will get lots of likes and decide to join. However lots of people proceed straight to messaging without an initial like and in that case presumably you wouldn't receive the message and they would think you're not interested

Eek had 2 texts already today from Mr Bike, last night's date; possibly foolish of me to give him my mobile number so that we could find each other in the pub. He wanted to meet this weekend so I said maybe the one after as I didn't want to say no directly to his face. However now he is suggesting all sorts of after-work meet ups this week or next since he doesn't want to wait that long to see me again!

Meanwhile Mr Teacher seems to be hardly ever online and has ignored all my requests for suitable dates and times to meet; he seems to want to chat on the phone first which I don't like as I don't think my voice is my best feature and I really like the sound of him.

Justme - 2 texts already without waiting for you reply to the first sounds on the pushy side. That would put me right off but I have issues with boundaries and saying 'no' so avoid those types.