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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Dating Thread 117 - summer loving!

997 replies

InfoSec21 · 01/05/2017 00:26

Dating thread rules:

  1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
  2. Develop a thick skin.
  3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
  4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
  5. Trust your gut instinct.
  6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
  7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
  8. If it's not fun, stop.
  9. Loo update is mandatory.
10. No dating the thread.
OP posts:
DoIDontIhavethetalk · 09/05/2017 15:33

Nice to see more positive vibes again!

lettucesoup · 09/05/2017 15:43

Mumfun great stuff
Cover me Star
Missmove woo!
I am supposedly applying for a new job today.
Procrastination and dating by proxy is so much more interesting. Envy

InfoSec21 · 09/05/2017 16:41

I got no reply from WG. Didn't think I would.

Did manage to message one person today and they viewed but didn't reply.

Ah well.

OP posts:
DoIDontIhavethetalk · 09/05/2017 16:55

Nothing ventured and all that, Info

OutToGetYou · 09/05/2017 17:16

I tried to send a POF message today and got 'this user only accepts messages from premium members' - bet he doesn't know that, he wasn't a premium member himself!

minop · 09/05/2017 17:26

Worth a try info. I had a date with a guy I spoke with twice and never got dating for one reason or another. I'm glad he got in touch again as we had a great date and seeing him again Friday.
Nothing ventured nothing gained and at least your not thinking what if!

InfoSec21 · 09/05/2017 18:12

I've had that happen a couple of times with the only accepts messages from premium users. Annoying. Nothing special about someone who wastes money paying for PIG.

OP posts:
CoverMeLadsImGoingIn · 09/05/2017 18:39

Working on my swipe left generators (do we have a definitive list going somewhere?) : football badges, football shirts, those "wine-o" overlay things on Bumble, demands in the profile ("pictures less than 6 months old" Well of course they are. You knob), blurry photos (soft focus is allowed ahem), photos of the kids, photos of the pets, no words at all, bathroom selfies, bedroom selfies, animal masks (that was a special discovery today....) and pass agg rants at people who have dared to declare a height preference.

Pavonia · 09/05/2017 18:57

I'm thinking that when I have finished with OKCupid I may try Guardian Soulmates.

I have set up an account so that I can have a look but not set up a profile yet. The thing I'm wondering is how many of the profiles you see are actually active. Can you tell if someone else is a subscribing member? If they only have a free account can they reply if you message them?

Is anyone here a GSM expert who can give me the low down?

Pavonia · 09/05/2017 19:08

Something I'm noticing on GSM is that very often the men there only seem to want to meet women young than themselves. 15 years younger? absolutely fine, 1 year older? no way. It seems more prevalent there than elsewhere.

Bant · 09/05/2017 20:08

I think I should dig out the OLD site summary from several threads ago.

I've never joined GSM but I've heard it's only good in London or Manchester, otherwise there aren't very many people. And the women are generally horsey yoga types, and the men are entitled arses who think that because they pay for a subscription they damn well should have young women lining up for their attention. Because they're leftwing yet affluent, goddamnit, therefore are wonderful

That's just what I heard though.

Farontothemaddingcrowd · 09/05/2017 20:11

Yes I don't fancy GSM for that reason. Weirdly, I'm left wing but I tend to find myself attracted to people who are middle right.

Pavonia · 09/05/2017 20:15

Oh I don't know what to do! I am a liberal, lefty, educated, Guardian reading, vegetarian, north-Londoner so they ought to be my people, but I'm not sure.

CoverMeLadsImGoingIn · 09/05/2017 20:29

I was on it VERY half-arsedly for 3 months during a protracted breakup, so didn't really give it a proper go. Definitely my mind of dudes on face value, but not sure I'm really their kind of dudette. Unless they're late 50s/early 60sin which case, no.

Bumble is currently getting my vote.

Bant that site summary was brilliant. Just wish I'd seen it before I went to Nando's.....

Pavonia · 09/05/2017 20:40

Cover I suspect I might find the same. I can see a few familiar faces from OKCupid.

Bant · 09/05/2017 20:47

Ok, a summary of dating sites:

Firstly, choose your dating site carefully. Different ones are best for different goals and locations.

Pof is the biggest one, covering more areas, and also it's free. But there is a lot of crap in there. It's the McDonald's of dating.

There's OKC, for people with a certain taste (generally more polyamorous, fetishy types). Also free. This is nandos. Relatively cheap, but spicy.

Match is your gourmet burger bar. Large coverage but you've got to pay. Less likely to get an unexpected gherkin, but there are still some.

You have your niche sites, singlesdating, seacaptaindating. Catering to small markets, fewer profiles, but if there's traffic in the area where you are, you can be successful. This is little chef.

And tinder, which offers quick, simple satisfaction but tends to leave you with an unpleasant aftertaste, and possibly an STI. This is your late night burger caravan.

Bumble is the feminist version of tinder, where women have to message first. This is the kebab van outside the local WI hall.

Then there's elitesingles, guardian soulmates etc. Only good in large cities, costs money but promises to give you what you want. This is your farmers market deli. But it's very rarely open for business.

CoverMeLadsImGoingIn · 09/05/2017 20:48

Pav I think I've exhausted OKC of any possibles. Unless I drunkenly accidentally lie about my age again.....

Pavonia · 09/05/2017 20:52

Cover I may rewrite my profile on OKCupid, as I've got two more weeks as an A-lister, and then move on. I'm not currently seeing much interest but I'm planning on a big final push. We'll see!

I haven't dared go to POF yet.

justmeand2DC · 09/05/2017 21:06

Oi Bant I'm on GSM and I'm not horsey or into yoga! And actually although I have had lots of matches/chats on Bumble there hasn't been a single person I've wanted to meet whereas on GSM there are far fewer likes and messages but about half of them result in a date.

Have just returned from a date with an iron who was not at all affluent (works for the council). Am hoping to confirm a date with another iron who is a teacher. I would say that the majority of men who like/message me are around 5 years older but I am 51 and I would actually prefer men who are through their mid-life crisis after experiencing what my ex went through when he hit 50.

Pav I would recommend you try it

Bant · 09/05/2017 21:09

:) sorry justme.

This is just what people said on here. As I said I haven't tried it myself.

Pavonia · 09/05/2017 22:14

justme thanks. That sounds more encouraging. I probably will give it a try, it seems silly not to. So as to the free members on there, can you tell who is subscribed and can the free members reply to your messages? I'm just wondering if the site gives a false impression of the numbers of available men.

Biddylee · 09/05/2017 22:18

Bant I love the your summary of the dating sites.

I've dated a few blokes from OKC. I met the father of my child through OKC - we were together for 8 years.

OutToGetYou · 09/05/2017 22:19

My sister's best friend met her partner on GSM, he puts me right off! Sanctimonious little shit he is. But, course, he's left wing, so it's OK!

I too am left wing but only attracted to right wing twats blokes. Sigh.

Bant · 09/05/2017 22:26

Hmm. I'm centre-left, so maybe should go for centre-right women.

Telegraph dating dot com it is then.

InfoSec21 · 09/05/2017 22:27

Last two profile headlines I looked at:

'looking for a relationship wiv a non cheating guy's

'Life is to short'.

What an utter waste of bandwidth.

OP posts:
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