Dating Thread 117 - summer loving!

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Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread.

Wise advice lettucesoup, friendships definitely need to be prioritised. Especially longterm friendships.

I've just arranged a pub date with a new iron, let's call him Mr Bike, for tomorrow evening. It's only just over a week since Mr Outdoors and I agreed to call it a day after 2 months of dating so I don't know whether it's a good idea or not as I am still feeling a bit sad. I don't know why Mr Outdoors has got under my skin as he wasn't my physical type at all; maybe it's because we messaged each other incessantly. Also because it was my first MB since splitting with my ex more than 2 years ago.

So I don't know whether I should postpone/cancel Mr Bike bearing in mind he may not still be available if I put him off for a few weeks. He does share quite a few of my interests (including being a keen cyclist which comes high up on my list) and he may take my mind off Mr Outdoors I guess.

What's an MB.

I've had an interesting weekend: ended up in hospital Saturday night/Sunday morning and was back in tonight but home now.

The Nurse offered to come in with me this evening: I think without even having the discussion we may have entered 'relationship' territory? I entered it weeks ago...

I think you should just see how it goes tomorrow justme

From what I can see lettuce you have to pay to send messages so pointless!

DoI MB = moose burgers = sex

Insightful? Useful? Be interested to know what you all think:

Just watched the seduction Video.
I am usually so blinking nervous on a first date that I struggle to get my words out in the right order. Not sure if this is for me, it was interesting to watch but a touch heavy for date one I think.

Lettuce - I agree. I get nervous too, but I have picked up these tips from this MN group:

You are the prize! (I repeat this like a mantra beforehand). You are sussing the other person out too - it isn't a one way street in terms of judging someone's performance. The video says a first date is like an audition. I don't agree with this.

Be yourself - the goal is to be with someone who loves you for being you (not some idealised version).

Your date is prob nervous too - focus on putting them at ease.

Have a few open-ended questions prepared in advance just in case the conversation dries up.

Hope this helps xx

I've not watched the video but I think 'seduction' or having some sort of game plan is a big mistake. It's better to just be yourself because that IS who you are going to be if you progress past numerous dates. Why waste your time and the other person's time being someone you're not?

DoI sorry to hear you've had to be in hosp. Hope you're feeling better xx

I can't be seeing a date as an "audition" either. Trying to remember tips on how to be "successful" would just add to any nerves.

For date one I'm sticking to coffee and a finite time period (an hour? Thoughts welcomed) with another commitment to have to go on to alone (easier at the weekend). My reasoning is a) if there's no spark there's a natural end that's not awkward b) if there is a spark it leaves you (both, hopefully) wanting more time/to book a second date.
That's all the pre-planning I'll be doing (apart from the outfit, but I'll be back to discuss that erelong, no doubt)

I agree Cover, I prefer day time dates and I like having a time limit. Course, your next appointment could be mysteriously cancelled if necessary ;)

I'm with you Cover I prefer a day time date if possible and always say an hour max - for exactly your reasons. The only thing is it did backfire on my last date as I felt comfortable enough to extend it and suddenly we were going for drinks in the pub - despite me saying at the start I only had about an hour - hmm! It's a difficult one however, I'm going to stick to that rule I think as I feel less pressure - an hour is nothing and if it isn't going well you'll be glad you said it!

Somehow, one coffee/tea is OK. One drink-drink seems wrong so you end up having two (buy one 'round' each) and then it's 2-3 hours and if they are boring you might have preferred to stay home with a scotch egg and watch Peak Practice (even if it is a bloody repeat).

First meets should be like buying a car. You both rock up and have a good look around each other and if you're happy, you go for a test drive which is sat together for a chat to test out the personality. If you're not happy, you walk away. Especially if they don't look like they do in the advert or the description has been embellished.

If you like the test, you do it again.

I'm kinda joking but kinda not too. That's basically what people do without the bottle to walk away if they don't fancy the person immediately.

I always suggest a walk for a first meet. That way neither of us are forced to feel the need to sit and wait for the other to finish whatever.
I hate the idea of sitting across from one another. If it got awkward youre knackered.
On a walk you can talk about what you can see etc if it got stale. Or you can say ooh look at the time i need to be here soon.

True dat, I never sit across from anyone, it's too awkward and I like a side profile anyway, never keen on the straight on thing. I prefer my left profile so always try to sit on their right. When doing the gent thing though if out for a drink or coffee, she chooses her seat.

I think this is why the date with Lois Lane didn't go well. I was in her car and then on her left for coffee so she got my right profile all the time. It just didn't go to plan dahlings. 😂😂

I would really dislike a walk for a first date.

Your post reminded me Info of something else I hate in men's profiles - "if you don't look like your picture, you're buying the drinks until you do". Twats. Unoriginal twats cos I see it on about one in five.

Out That would be a definite no no for me!
I checked Mr Levi's profile again and he has a no no for me, which is why I hadn't messaged him before! Just the thing about "someone to spoil" but typical of my memory to forget that.

It seems to do anything but browse Zoosk you have to pay. I have spotted my ex's old best friend on there, who got married last summer, so either he's already cheating or it's really old. But he's been in that relationship for at least the past 4 years and has history so I wouldn't be surprised if he was cheating. More that it's so obvious.

Yeah it's okay to think anything you like but not to actually say it in your profile. Saying things like that is naff and very rude.

Check out ma special text combo moves!!!

Mine and The Nurse's first date was at a family type place - we brought our respective children with us: I know that may raise some eyebrows but it actually worked well. As far as the children were concerned we were two single parents looking to meet up and make new friends for the children (though our eldest's clocked that it was probably more than that)

We had loads to laugh about as the kids mucked about, I got to see what he was like with his children (I wanted to suss out whether he was a Disney parent or genuine - he won me over on that one) and there were no real awkward moments. It's not for everyone and it's a very alternative way to first meet someone but it certainly gave us plenty of opportunity to talk and interact.

Hope everyone's getting on ok.

Well my date number 3 went really well last night. He's been away for 2 weeks and I'd actually missed him (which is mad after meeting someone so soon)..anyway I had a fab eve at his..never laughed so much and rolled in the early hours of this morning! Seeing him tomorrow and can't wait! Let's hope this one has no hidden worries like the last 2!!

I've seen 2 more of ex's friends on Zoosk but think they're old pics which makes me wonder how current anyone is. You can reply for free to messages from a user with a premium subscription but again arguing about distance... I don't want to date someone an hours drive away! Actually, arguing with me is saying they basically think I'm too stupid to get it's "just" a drive away right, not going to bother replying anymore if it's a no, I am officially fed up!

I know that I have almost always sat opposite the man when I have met on a first date. I remember once sitting alongside someone in a pub on a sofa as the pub was packed; it was a good evening but I did not put it down to the seating arrangement. I know I like a eye-contact but had not realised how hard it is to sit opposite a stranger on a first date.
Everyday is a school day. I will in the future do the alongside sitting thingy! I too dislike one profile so I will now get extremely muddled trying to sit the "right way"
Dol I hope you are all right after your hospital stays.
Nipples I would not like a walk as a first date, someone suggested it and I said no way; it was strangely in a very rural location. Instead we met in a city coffee shop. There was no escape hatch in the WC sadly. I escaped an hour later.

Happy dating to those who have OLD action this week

Date 4 Mr Social yesterday. Most of the day and all night . As before easy funny and happy. He was talking a lot of the fun things we should do in the future( in a suggesting not controlling way) The more I know the more I like him. He is in good contact every day. Just looking forward to next while really - hope to see him at weekend.

small fanfare AR and I have "taken it to What's App"

That sounds great Mumfun

claps for you Cover

Glad to see that in the plural, All