Dating Thread 117 - summer loving!

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Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread.

Well, North and Proper North then ;)

I am meant to be meeting someone tomorrow. I am slightly put off by him though. I added him on facebook a couple of weeks ago and i have noticed the last two weekends he posts bitchy stuff about his ex. It seems they both go to their local and it winds him up.
It seems to me that he is going there (alone) to see if she is there and who with etc. Because i cant see any other reason he would want to...if it all just winds him up!
I thought last week was a one off so left it, but he did it again this week. The following morning he always deletes them so this could have been going on for weeks for all i know.

Take the ex and him clearly still being affected away. Im still put off by the fact he doesnt seem to have control of himself whilst drunk...otherwise he would never post shit he feels he needs to take off the following day. Drunk people who lose control triggers my anxiety so i dont know if im overthinking or not...but either way, its not a good match is it?

Not a good match. Let him go!

Run away

Morning all!

Nipples it does seem a bit immature, yes. I've not got a lot of time for pass/agg FB posting. And if the ex isn't well and truly in the past, outwardly (and inwardly, actually) then I'd question the reasons for dating.....

Well exactly. Should i just block him and pretend he never existed or let him know?

Nipples I would just send him a short message saying that you've changed your mind about meeting and wish him luck. Block if he gets annoying.

If you've got an actual date planned it's only polite to let him know, I guess.

Talking of being polite, I realised what irks me most about OLD is the lack of manners. People are just so.......mannerless.

I really was born a couple of centuries too late

Cover I agree. The anonymity of the internet makes people behave in ways they wouldn't in real life.

I'm a bit nervous about my date tomorrow. He seemed OK to start with but I'm now wondering if he's a bit of player. In his messages he sounds really keen on me (possibly too much), but on the other hand he hasn't really asked that much about me. Also I can see that he is on OKCupid until late every night.

I will send him a message, thanks.
There was nothing set in stone. I didnt want to say for definite as i just wasnt sure.

Yes coverme, you are right. I am guilty of it in times like this.
There was one who was so full on and even though i had told him nicely i wasnt interested after meeting him he just kept going going. I still feel guilty to this day for blocking him, but had i of blocked him instead of telling him i wasnt interested, i think it would of went a lot better and easier for us both. He was too much 😥

Pavonia - i can see why youre thinking like that. I wouldnt think too much about him being on the dating site until late. I have got caught up in those question things on there. Never spoken to a soul but been on for quite a while just doing that ha (they entertained me).

Just keep your guard up and him being a possible player in mind when you meet him. He might turn out to be the opposite, fingers crossed

Nipples blocking someone after telling them nicely you're not interested isn't mannerless; it's politeness followed by self-preservation

Thanks Nipples. Mostly he sounds nice, he's only got one picture but he looks attractive, and he's local to me.

He made one comment last night that I thought was a bit forward.

Yes, it is possible to spend ages on the questions. I've got A-list at the moment so I can read everyone's answers too!

I'm glad it's a morning date, less pressure and no alcohol!

Good luck, Pav

I'm Manchester too Far - most definitely proper north!
Totally agree about morning dates seeming to be less pressure Pav I just think they feel more relaxed and not much time to start getting anxious about it.

Does anyone ever get old dates re contact? It's happened to me a few times, it's like they've looked again in the sweet shop and decided actually they preferred the first choice. Too late!

I'm Manchester as well

I'm just near Manchester

pavonia enjoy your date tomorrow (hopefully), keep alert for any red flags and try not to worry about why he's online til late. The swiping, messaging, checking out who's new is very addictive. But doesn't mean he's a player.

Ruby I've had a couple of old dates contact me again. No idea why. The latest was my worst date ever who deleted and blocked me before I'd even had a chance to say thanks but no thanks. I just ignore them.

Nipples just view it as, you wouldn't keep on if you were told politely "no thanks" so it wasn't nice of him to do that ergo he deserved to be blocked.

Cover Same here but it seems to be a common theme. DD broke her arm 2 months ago and some ppl didn't seem to care about knocking her cast I just take the view most ppl are idiots, which seems to work for me.

Good luck Pav

Guy from work did reply on Tinder, it's a bit odd as he went to the same primary and secondary schools and said he recognised me from that but didn't know I worked at the same place as him.

I'm Leeds

I'm in leeds too

I've got a last minute date tonight. We've been chatting for a couple of weeks. I've actually hidden my profile for a bit as I'm really busy and stressed in real life and in a way felt old was another demand.

But I gave him my number. So we'll see. Bit nervous actually

Sorry everyone I should have posted the link to Yoni man (Brian) or explained more. Ive been on the OLD threads for a few years now but under different names as I put far too much personal information on MN and fear I may be outed one day.

Yes, Brian offered his yoni massage services to a horrified Mumsnet collective and got his arse royally handed to him. Ive since found lots of men advertising this service up and down the country on various local news sites, craigslist, facebook etc. They call it aromatherapy message with the option for an 'O' ending. I was only looking for a massage.

Anyway, glad its not just me who's finding POF awful at the monent.

Polar - Im very jealous of your naval officer - they have such beautiful manners. Hope things go well.

I'm a Midlander but child-free so can travel to any meet-ups happening.

I also love a man with a Northern accent. North East especially.

Just de-lurking re the North/South divide: Stuart Maconie's 'Pies and Prejudice-in search of the North' is a cracking read. I think he settled on Crewe (pretty much where I am,and I'm definitely Nothern) as where the North begins,but I'm due a re-read. And if you like your music-and books-'Cider with Roadies' is equally fab.
Back to lurking

Abi I've got them both, love them! Still seen as a Northener by those in the Smoke and a Southern softie when I lived near Manchester