Dating Thread 117 - summer loving!

[InfoSec21]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread.

Oh,Auntie there's NOTHING wrong with you, trust me.
I think OLD has allowed/given rise to a certain sort of "there could be better out there" mentality (in both sexes) as now there's so many people (theoretically) available at the next click. And if someone thinks that then clearly they're not right for you/me. You'll probably meet a fair few before the right one comes along; it really is a numbers game

OLD does give people (men and women) a sweet shop mentality. There are either always more photos to swipe, or screens and screens of people to judge, weigh up, contact or reject. It's incredibly unnatural.

And unlike an old fashioned conversation at a dinner or at a bar, there are multiple conversations going on at once, with both of you, which if you were able to see that in the real world would be a cacophony of flirting and rejection which would just make you want to go home and stick your head under the pillow.

And user, feel free to think what you think. But I gave her a month, she's a bad kisser and she's hunting online for the next best thing after me. If a woman here was talking about a man doing that, I'm sure she wouldn't be getting criticised by random posters..

elsa - if you like to have a joke, then have a joke. If the man isn't into that, then he's not right for you.

This isn't about trying to pretend you're someone you're not, it's about trying to find someone who likes you for you.

User What does giving someone a chance entail, though, really? If it's not feeling FUCK YEAH for whatever reason, then one's best moving on IMO. Wheneverthehell that is.

Bant have you told her yet?

And Biddy bless you. I actually hate London (I know I know, I'm not human ) but I do have friends there so am down very occasionally. PM me mid you guys arrange a meet and I'll see if it's doable.....

I'm Cambs/Herts too, so I could do a London thing.

Thanks Pavonia so is there any way to tell how many people are on Bumble? I am in London and have spent literally an hour swiping through people and matched with 2. So is there any way to know how far through I am? Could I swipe for the rest of the night and never finish? How are the people ordered on there, is it random as they don't seem to be listed in order of distance, age or anything that I can see?

No cover - it's intermittent messaging at the moment. She's on POF again.

I've just got to bite the bullet.

I like her, genuinely, but don't see anything more than mates. And she obviously feels something similar because otherwise she wouldn't be online hunting for someone else.

But I've got to do it. Bugger

justme change your settings to a small age range and/or distance. Then when you run out, increase them.

You'll only have had two matches because they've got to have swiped you, obviously. 2 people have been online in the last hour and have also swiped your profile. That's not bad.

Remember, you have to send the first message to these men, so think how many conversations you can handle at the same time.

Bant - do it. And move on. Life's too short.

Done.

Fuckit fuckit fuckit

Hello! Been lurking on this thread for a while now, having tried GSM and Tinder at different times for a couple of months. Got a date lined up for tomorrow morning - grabbing a quick coffee - and I have a couple more conversations on the go...but I'm feeling a growing sense of 'can I be arsed' with this whole caper. I'm a introvert and I find the whole cycle of messaging and dating quite draining. Do most people tackle OLD in fits and starts, or is it better to keep slogging away? I have been told on several occasions it's a numbers game and to treat it 'like a job/project'. Oof. Any tips for keeping motivated/enthusiastic? Thx

Bant not sure whether to hi-five or hand hold, so have both Hope it's not too grim, response wise.

Apple I'm an extrovert and me too! plus, welcome; this is a great place for sound advice, support and general ranting

I'm confused by Mr Normals texting techniques. I'm not sure if we are meeting on Sunday and if he's just not great at messaging, wants to wait until we meet to chat?

He hardly messages. I haven't chased at all and I wait for him to message me, I'm lucky to get one or 2 tesxts a day and they are pretty basic 'how was your day' type things. Apparently he's new to OLD. He's online a lot which is fine it just feels like he can't really be bothered.

Bant good luck x

Thank you Cover! You seem such a lovely crowd and so sane/decent - completely unlike the people who use OLD...

Bant - I hope you feel ok. She may not be right for you and a good call to end it, but it's the vague sense of deflation/anticlimax when something ends that is dispiriting.

Thanks Bant . I'm having 3 conversations at the moment, much more action than on GSM. But I liked the fact on GSM that people had similar political views and you could filter on the basis of the relationship they were after and also see their height and build in their profile and whether they smoke and drink. Not many put much of that in their profile and it seems to be very appearance based.
I don't know whether people are looking at the info in my profile - because I am a bit less than five foot tall I don't want to meet up with some really tall guy and nor would they with me probably. I guess i could ask them how tall they are and if they realise I'm not!

Yeah, I think the ratio of normal to frankly bizarre is 1:100000000000 (give or take a few 00s

Ageing Rocker and I are chatting up a storm. Don't care if it goes nowhere, I'm just enjoying a man who can actually string a sentence AND has a sense of humour.

Bant ouch. Offering handhold and flowers.

Okay. A break and then back to it when I can be arsed.

It's just. So.. much.. crap.

No replies to emails. Emails from frankly scary people. Lols. Boring people. Mad people. Angry people. Emails from ugly people. Emails from people who look ok but turn out to be racist and stupid. Emails to people who tell a joke about gay Irishmen on their second message. Emails from people who want to have a baby within the next six months. Emails from people who are obvious Russian scammers.

And that's before you even get to meeting them.

Fuck I hate online dating

Good move Bant.
Have you poured yourself a yet?

At least you're getting something!!

Oh I just got a 'hello how are you' from someone I won't be replying to. Better than nout I suppose.

Swap info

At times, the deserted inbox is better than the one you have to angst over whether to reply to.

(I have had )

this is why I hate OLD.
You have to be fucking perfect to get a look in these days.
I think a lot of people on OLD are looking for that ultimate human.....not sure if that exists but good luck looking.