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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Sis in law has not said congrats on birth of my baby? Am I being harsh ?

176 replies

2015mom · 22/04/2017 11:22

My sister in law well husbands sister in law (husband's brothers wife) has still not said congratulations to me on the birth of my son!

Am I being harsh in expecting somebody to say congratulations by text/phone/card or person?

Everybody else family, friends people I don't even know have congratulated me and my hubby on the new addition.

LO is now 10 weeks and still nothing.

Everybody has come to visit my son expect her and her kids.

My mother in law called today to ask if we were coming over to her house and I said no (they live with the in laws) I said I am not coming over and nor is my LO because the other daughter in law have not congratulated us or even come over to see the new addition. Mother in law started making excuses for her and I said so her mouth and hands aren't working that she can't call me or text me. Mother in law didn't know what to say other than I know.

Mother in law covers up for her but then moans about her behind her back lol. Am i being harsh for punishing in laws of not seeing their grandson just because the daughter in law cannot be bothered with saying congrats. I refuse to go to their house and I told mother in law to come to our house so in laws said they will come tomorrow.

The other daughter in law has three boys herself and we have gone to see each of them within days of being born and helped them loads.

Oh well can't choose family can you lol

I have got the attitude that I will do as much for people as they do for me so I will not bother with her anymore.

OP posts:
MangosAndPapayas · 23/04/2017 23:57

Sounds a bit forced to me and what's that worth really?

My guess is she doesn't like you very much. A friend of mine when her brother had his first child said words to the effect of "well he's completely ruined his life now; he's bound to that witch for all eternity." And although she'd never have said that to her face and does the being civilised polite bit - she definitely would never have been rushing round to say congratulations because she's not a hypocrite.

2015mom · 24/04/2017 00:04

Yeah it was forced on her behalf but at least she said it. My husband appreciated the fact that I was honest with his mum which is the main thing because he was quite disappointed with his sis in law.

OP posts:
HecateAntaia · 24/04/2017 00:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DrunkenMissOrderly · 24/04/2017 00:13

God your poor mil.

noitsnotme · 24/04/2017 00:15

It your husband was disappointed in his sister, why didn't he discuss it with her instead of letting you put his mother in such a horrible position? I'd be disappointed in you, if I was him.

FritzDonovan · 24/04/2017 00:28

Well she is wrong and mother in law told her she was wrong
Jesus, poor woman. No, she wasn't wrong, she just does things differently to you, as do a number of pp. Apparently you're not mature enough to see this. Hope SIL hears about you slagging her off and demands an apology via MIL.
Oops, nearly forgot: hahahaha Hmm

Teabagtits · 24/04/2017 00:39

I know she's said it now but I don't understamd the /need/ for congrats. It's not like the baby could've stayed in your belly. It had to come out and that's no different really to the 7billion other births that have populated the planet... you didn't do anything that hasn't been done billions of times before.

MrsDustyBusty · 24/04/2017 06:05

Well she is wrong and mother in law told her she was wrong and she ended up coming over today to say congratulations and apologised.

You know that the fact that you bullied your mother in law into forcing her to do this doesn't make her wrong?

LordRothermereBlackshirtCunt · 24/04/2017 06:09

Congratulations on achieving your forced congratulations, even though you'd actually already had one from her husband. What a triumph for you. You sound like a complete child.

pallasathena · 24/04/2017 06:23

Grow up OP.
You are a mother now and need to start behaving like a mature adult.

KateDaniels2 · 24/04/2017 06:25

Assuming that actaully happened. I am going to bet that MIL begged her to do it so you would go round there. Lots of 'you know what she is like', 'please try and keep the peace'.

You got a forced congratulations and no one thinks she was in the wrong. Your in laws probably really appreciate what she did to keep the peace.

Its actually made you look worse and her look better. Within a few months or years, all your in laws will get fed up of your behaviour and people will stop bending over backwards to stop your strops.

Then we will have another thread about how sil has turned everyone against you. When its actually you.

PossumInAPearTree · 24/04/2017 06:35

Bloody hell. Have just realised BIL never said congrats to me when Dd was born and she's 16yo now. Hahaa, I'm going to refuse to ever see him again now. Hahaa.

ChevalierTialys · 24/04/2017 06:35

hahha she can't cope with her kids so needs the help. She can't afford her own place because she's always spending money on clothes and gadgets... not my fault hahaa

You may have had a point until you started beinb a bitch. She probably didn't speak to you voluntarily because she doesn't like being judged by you and doesn't want to give you any more ammunition for shit like this.

Namechangearoo · 24/04/2017 06:35

Ugh, grow up. I hope by the time your child is old enough to understand more complex behaviours you have matured enough to set a better example.

honeycheeerios · 24/04/2017 06:38

You sound so pathetic and over invested in this.

Ok she didn't congratulate you, really she should have, but she didn't.

Get over it.

Bananamanfan · 24/04/2017 06:43

I'm not sure i would have noticed if bil's wife hadn't said congratulations. Thinking about it, I can't remember that she did. It's a weird thing to be upset about.

Bluntness100 · 24/04/2017 06:55

This is like some sort of weird childlike sibling rivalry, where one tells on the other to mummy and mummy steps in and gives the one told on into trouble and makes them apologise.

Except it's grown adults and parents at that, with some "haha" and "lols" thrown in over unfunny stuff.

So yes op, you told on her and got her into trouble and you got your apology. Well done you for handling it so maturely.

FairNotFair · 24/04/2017 07:03

Do people really behave like this? Confused

JustMumNowNotMe · 24/04/2017 07:07

God your a nasty, judgey cow aren't you OP! I'm not surprised she wasn't fallingall over herself to visit you, you sound vile.

You need go grow the fuck up, your a parent now, not a child. Please stop acting like one.

TalkingofMichaelAngel0 · 24/04/2017 07:08

God op you sound truly awful... ANd about 16.

Bluntness100 · 24/04/2017 07:09

Do people really behave like this?

I suspect some jealousy behind the ops behaviour which has resulted in her acting like a petulant child.

LedaP · 24/04/2017 07:26

I think kate is right.

Sil has come out of this looking like the reasonable one.

hippyhippyshake · 24/04/2017 07:31

...at least she said it. Confused

Words fail me...

usernumbernine · 24/04/2017 07:34

If you have to make somononeapologise it's not worth the bother.

does it make you feel good to have had the apology? Even though you know she doesn't really mean it?

HashiAsLarry · 24/04/2017 07:42

Anyone else have a vision of sil in time posting about her overbearing bil's dw who the entire family pussyfoot around?

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