Sis in law has not said congrats on birth of my baby? Am I being harsh ?

[2015mom]

My sister in law well husbands sister in law (husband's brothers wife) has still not said congratulations to me on the birth of my son!

Am I being harsh in expecting somebody to say congratulations by text/phone/card or person?

Everybody else family, friends people I don't even know have congratulated me and my hubby on the new addition.

LO is now 10 weeks and still nothing.

Everybody has come to visit my son expect her and her kids.

My mother in law called today to ask if we were coming over to her house and I said no (they live with the in laws) I said I am not coming over and nor is my LO because the other daughter in law have not congratulated us or even come over to see the new addition. Mother in law started making excuses for her and I said so her mouth and hands aren't working that she can't call me or text me. Mother in law didn't know what to say other than I know.

Mother in law covers up for her but then moans about her behind her back lol. Am i being harsh for punishing in laws of not seeing their grandson just because the daughter in law cannot be bothered with saying congrats. I refuse to go to their house and I told mother in law to come to our house so in laws said they will come tomorrow.

The other daughter in law has three boys herself and we have gone to see each of them within days of being born and helped them loads.

Oh well can't choose family can you lol

I have got the attitude that I will do as much for people as they do for me so I will not bother with her anymore.

[Cricrichan]

What's it got to do with your MIL? It's really odd that your sil hasn't said anything but why should your mil suffer?

[Justmadeperfectflapjacks]

You are creating mil issues for yourself.
This will likely come back to smack you in the face. .

[usernumbernine]

She's not closely related hahaa

She's thinking thank fuck that's only my husband's brother's wife and I don't need to bother hahaha lol

You reap what you sew lol hahaa

[usernumbernine]

*sow haha

autocorrect lol

[FrangiePangie]

Grow up woman.

If this is your general MO I'm not surprised she's kept her distance, quite frankly. You sound needy, spiteful and immature.

[muckypup73]

It sounds really immature, reminds me of the time one of my parnters neices cracked up at his mum because she forgot to send her a birthday card, she was old and died not long after, the same neice was a nasty bitch at the mothers funeral too, god if I would have heard her I would have slapped the bitch silly!

[Chavelita]

But has your husband's brother offered his congratulations in some form? If so and presumably he has, or you'd be ranting about him too why are you seeking individual congratulations from both halves of the couple? If DH and I are sending cards or congratulatory texts, he does his family and I do mine on behalf of us both -- we don't double up.

[WorraLiberty]

Perhaps she really doesn't like you?

Either way, it's not your inlaws fault.

Oh and as others have said, why have you made this all about your SIL and not your BIL?

[2014newme]

Wtf!

Who gives a shit?

[Seeingadistance]

My first thoughts were, who cares?!

Reading on - you sound really unpleasant, no wonder she's not been in touch.

[coldcanary]

I would say she knows you don't like her and the feeling is mutual. You obviously hold her in utter contempt and she knows it so why should she put herself in the firing line? Her husband has done the congratulations for the family and I think as far as she's concerned it's done with.
Don't put your MIL in the middle of your bitchfight with your SIL, it's not her fault you're acting like a petulant child!

[NotALottaPot]

Tbh OP you come across as hard work just based on your posts on this thread so maybe work on yourself first.

[reallyanotherone]

Yep, grow up.

You sound like a 13 year old in the playground.

Grow up and worry about you and yours, not about others.

[ComputerUserNotTrained]

Jeez, I'm usually the first the defend ops here when they get a kicking, but I'm struggling this time.

[Crumbs1]

Whilst the baby has transformed your life completely, it won't have much impact on others lives and isn't their top priority. Acknowledgement is nice but not essential and certainly nothing to get your knickers in a twist about. I don't think any of my family even noticed when I'd had my sixth!

[KungFuPandaWorksOut16]

really that's insulting 13 year olds. I would of said a 5 year old, but I don't think a 5 year would act like that.

Sometimes people don't get excited about a baby. There world doesn't stop when one enters the family. It's how it is.

But I'm guessing there are deeper issues that led up too this.

[justanillusion]

I have a few family members not talking to me because i missed birthdays and didn't call over the last year. There was no benefit of the doubt given that maybe i had a lot going on in my life.

What stands out most to me is that you aren't hurt because you care a lot about your SIL and want her to share this time with you, and share your joy about your new child. You don't even seem to like her. Unless you have expressed yourself badly, i don't know why you are so upset.

A new child is a happy thing. Don't let your baby be a source of ill feeling with your in-laws.

[FeedTheSharkAndItWIllBite]

I said I am not coming over and nor is my LO because the other daughter in law have not congratulated us or even come over to see the new addition

That's very mature...

Has her husband congratulated you? Brought around their children to visit your new addition?


You sound pretty nasty. if you say these things behind her back, why would you expect her to come see you?!

And yes, you are creating issues with your MIL...

[ShoesHaveSouls]

My mother in law called today to ask if we were coming over to her house and I said no (they live with the in laws) I said I am not coming over and nor is my LO because the other daughter in law have not congratulated us or even come over to see the new addition.

That is incredibly unreasonable.

[HashiAsLarry]

I still haven't congratulated DHs SIL on the birth of their baby over a year ago. DH sent them a message on behalf of them all, and we sent a gift via ILs around the time of birth.

BIL congratulated neither DH or I on the birth of our DC both born before his, though SIL (his DW and the same SIL as above) did via DH.

I don't think anyone is affronted by the others, because some form of congrats was sent by one of us.

[Cackleberry4]

Oh buy, I don't think I have ever read a more self centred post!

Get over yourself and you may, just may, receive visitors.

[lazycrazyhazy]

I can understand you being hurt at the couple's lack of acknowledgement, especially as you've helped them a lot in the past. Not even a card seems very pointed. However I think punching your MIL is a bit OTT and you have lost the high moral ground there. Couldn't your DP have said to his bro (if I understand the relationship) "come on mate you need to show an interest" ...... no need for such a drama.

[WorraLiberty]

I'm wondering if the OP will actually come back and tell us whether her BIL has said congratulations.

[ItsOut]

This doesn't sound real.... or maybe it's a reverse?

[2015mom]

Yes the brother has come round