Sis in law has not said congrats on birth of my baby? Am I being harsh ?

[2015mom]

My sister in law well husbands sister in law (husband's brothers wife) has still not said congratulations to me on the birth of my son!

Am I being harsh in expecting somebody to say congratulations by text/phone/card or person?

Everybody else family, friends people I don't even know have congratulated me and my hubby on the new addition.

LO is now 10 weeks and still nothing.

Everybody has come to visit my son expect her and her kids.

My mother in law called today to ask if we were coming over to her house and I said no (they live with the in laws) I said I am not coming over and nor is my LO because the other daughter in law have not congratulated us or even come over to see the new addition. Mother in law started making excuses for her and I said so her mouth and hands aren't working that she can't call me or text me. Mother in law didn't know what to say other than I know.

Mother in law covers up for her but then moans about her behind her back lol. Am i being harsh for punishing in laws of not seeing their grandson just because the daughter in law cannot be bothered with saying congrats. I refuse to go to their house and I told mother in law to come to our house so in laws said they will come tomorrow.

The other daughter in law has three boys herself and we have gone to see each of them within days of being born and helped them loads.

Oh well can't choose family can you lol

I have got the attitude that I will do as much for people as they do for me so I will not bother with her anymore.

[WomblingThree]

OP are you going to answer the most pertinent question in all this. Did your husband's brother congratulate you?

Seeing as he's the one who is actually related.

[WorraLiberty]

Then being as though she lives with your MIL, she's probably waiting for you to pop round with the baby

You do sound as though you really don't like her though, so perhaps the feeling is mutual.

[WomblingThree]

Oh right, crosspost. In that case, what the actual fuck is your problem? You had a baby. You didn't give birth to the messiah (did you?) so why are you keeping tally on who has been to see worship your child.

You sound like an incredibly self centred drama queen. But then you already know that.

[usernumbernine]

Well, if your husband's brother has been round there is no need at all on the face of god's fucking green earth for her to come round and/or congratulate you.

She's really fuck all to you except by marriage. She's not actually related to you by blood and I'm sure she's bloody glad given your behaviour

[bingbongnoise]

Why don't YOU contact the SIL '2015mom?' If it bothers you that much that she has not been in touch? I am really close to my husband's brother's wife, and we are like sisters ourselves. I love her to bits, and my niece too (hers and DH's brother's daughter.) Sounds like you don't even have a relationship at all, let alone a close one, so why are you bothered???

Or are you one of those people who has a baby, thinks no-one else has ever had one, and thinks the world revolves around them? I know 2 women atm who had their first baby in mid 2016, and they do nothing but gabble on and on and on about them. Every last post on facebook is about the baby, and they post 5-10 pics EVERY DAY on facebook of the baby. It doesn't look any different at 4pm, than it looked at midday FFS! These 2 women have 350 to 400 'friends' on facebook, and although the baby pics got 100-125 'likes' during the first month or so, the 'likes' have dwindled to less than half a dozen. And half of them are her mother, her nan, and herself!

So why the desperation for your SIL to get in touch? Especially as your posts about her are so spiteful and vitriolic. From what you have posted so far, it's hardly surprising that your SIL is giving you a (very) wide berth! And I agree with the other posters that she is not jealous. Why would she be?

Why are you so demeaning and spiteful about her? Saying she can't even look after her own kids hahaha and so on... ?

[stitchglitched]

You don't like her and slag off her parenting and lifestyle. Why would you expect her to make an effort with you? Your BIL is capable of bringing his kids round.

[January87]

YABU if the brother has come round to visit. Grow up.

[KateDaniels2]

So bil has been round...meaning your sil hasnt done anything wrong and you are just being nasty for the sake of it.

You are obviously reading the thread, but not going to reply properly?

[NeegansWife]

You sound as if you think you've got the 'trump card' by having a new baby and therefore she MUST pay homage to you and you won't see her until she does. I suspect she senses this and refuses to have you lord it over her.

[2015mom]

I wouldn't be happy with a text saying congrats from her... nothing at all from her

[usernumbernine]

I forgot all the hahaha and hahaa and lolz in my post

[ShatnersWig]

Did brother bring a card when he visited? Did it have her name in it?

[2015mom]

I would be happy with a text*

[Costacoffeeplease]

Wow, how unpleasant, I'm not surprised she hasn't come near you

[usernumbernine]

Why should she congratulate you? Her husband, your husband's brother did that already on behalf of the family. hahaha

She owes you no obligation to congratulate you separately and you sound incredibly needy expecting it. lol

[bingbongnoise]

I repeat, why don't YOU contact HER? Why should she run after you? Having a baby doesn't make you any more special than her. You are coming across as rather precious.

[FeedTheSharkAndItWIllBite]

1. You don't like her. And I'm pretty sure she knows it...
   
2. Her husband has been around.
   

She has done nothing wrong. Whilst congratulation is nice/polite. It isn't actually unspeakably rude to refrain froim doing so. Especially if you're only related through marriage and the LO's uncle has already congratulated.


Oh, and btw. You are the one putting MIL in an akward situation. I feel sorry for them.

[WorraLiberty]

Were you a pain in the arse all through the pregnancy OP?

Have a think before you answer.

[FeedTheSharkAndItWIllBite]

Honestly, I suspect she may (now...) refrain from congratulating you on purpose. Just to avoid having somebody that so obviously dislikes her around...

[rosawitch]

Of course she should congratulate you both people are right odd

[expatinscotland]

When mine were 10 weeks old, I sure as fuck didn't have to headspace to tabulate how many 'congratulations' I had had from people and certainly couldn't have given much above a fuck who hadn't, too sleep-deprived.

You sound awful. My 11-year-old is more mature.

[usernumbernine]

I wonder what happens if, for example, my friend has a baby and I go to see the baby and take a gift and say "Awh he's lovely" but don't actually say the C word. Is that taken as a slight?

[FrangiePangie]

OP you need to find something important to get your knickers in a twist about. Let it go.

[ShatnersWig]

usernumbernine What if you don't take your partner/husband with you? Will your friend get shirty because he hasn't made an effort personally himself? haha