Sis in law has not said congrats on birth of my baby? Am I being harsh ?

[2015mom]

My sister in law well husbands sister in law (husband's brothers wife) has still not said congratulations to me on the birth of my son!

Am I being harsh in expecting somebody to say congratulations by text/phone/card or person?

Everybody else family, friends people I don't even know have congratulated me and my hubby on the new addition.

LO is now 10 weeks and still nothing.

Everybody has come to visit my son expect her and her kids.

My mother in law called today to ask if we were coming over to her house and I said no (they live with the in laws) I said I am not coming over and nor is my LO because the other daughter in law have not congratulated us or even come over to see the new addition. Mother in law started making excuses for her and I said so her mouth and hands aren't working that she can't call me or text me. Mother in law didn't know what to say other than I know.

Mother in law covers up for her but then moans about her behind her back lol. Am i being harsh for punishing in laws of not seeing their grandson just because the daughter in law cannot be bothered with saying congrats. I refuse to go to their house and I told mother in law to come to our house so in laws said they will come tomorrow.

The other daughter in law has three boys herself and we have gone to see each of them within days of being born and helped them loads.

Oh well can't choose family can you lol

I have got the attitude that I will do as much for people as they do for me so I will not bother with her anymore.

[bingbongnoise]

I repeat, why don't YOU contact HER? Why should she run after you? Having a baby doesn't make you any more special than her. You are coming across as rather precious.

[babyturtles]

Is it hard working having a 10wk old when you're such a child, OP?

[bingbongnoise]

Op seems to be avoiding answering the questions she doesn't like hahahahaha.

[WomblingThree]

usernumbernine you should probably organise a procession, complete with a band, elephants, dancers, and a camel train bearing multiple gifts. Haahhhaahaha

[NotStoppedAllDay]

Ugh this is surely a wind up

Nobody can be this entitled!

[usernumbernine]

Wombling I'm the elephant (so fat! hahaha), the next door neighbours kids can do a great line in a band (grade 1 violin and recorder) the wee girl across the street does ballet but I can't do the camel lol

I'm such a failure hahaa

[BearsDontDigOnDancing]

But if the brother (her husband) has been round, then surely a "representative" of that family has said congratulations. When it comes to DH's family I leave him to sort out cards and congratulations from us both, the same way I do it for my family. So it might just be me who rings or txts or sends a card etc, but I say congratulations from my family.

Although, not surprised she has not visited you personally, your contempt for her, is obvious, even to your shared MIL, that she has to live with. Although if the MIL moans about her behind her back, then I am feeling sorry more and more for the SIL.

And why is it SHE cant cope with her kids, and SHE cannot afford her own place, she is married yes? To your husbands brother? To you MILs son, yet it seems like she gets the blame for it all from you and the MIL.

[BillyButtfuck]

[RainbowsAndUnicorn]

Wow, you sound very hard work. I can see why she leaves her husband to his own family.

I don't get the obsession with pregnancy and birth etc, it's like congratulating somebody had sex without protection.

[hoddtastic]

i feel sorry h haaa haaa for your husband, your MiL and your kid.

This is going to bite you on the arse at some point (ha haaa) and if i was MiL i'd be furious that you had done this, and wouldn't be going out of my way to help you er ha haaa hhhhaaa at any time, you've caused a massive pointless rift because you're a bit precious and are acting like something off Jezza

[DebiNewberry]

Op I haven't rtft but enough to see you've taken a hammering. In case you are still reading - people/family will not live up to your internalised rules of behaviour. You will at some point have disappointed somebody on the way that you are disappointed with your sil. Nobody other than you and your dh cares about your baby in the way you do. You have to take what people are prepared to give and rise above the rest. Just don't notice it. It's just noise and unnecessary drama.

[usernumbernine]

hahaha

"Massive congratulations, you shagged"

Lol

[justanillusion]

There is a great deal of irony in the mean "joke" messages mocking the OP as immature.

Having thought a little more, my mother and one of my SILs are like this. They feel like the tiniest slight is a huge pointed personal message. Honestly, it can be a neighbour giving them "dirty looks". It can't be a happy way to live. Sometimes they feel hurt but it comes out as anger.

But maybe she has slighted you. Good post from floraeasy about how to handle.

[usernumbernine]

In all seriousness, I thought on MN the done thing was, to avoid wifework, that the husband did his side of the family gifts/presents/etc and the wife did her side of the family? And each was on behalf of the family?

[WomblingThree]

usernumbernine it's ok Hun, you obviously didn't realise the importance of the occasion. hahahahaahaa

[bingbongnoise]

@Debi-newberry

If you had read it all, you'd see how nasty and vitriolic the OP was about her SIL, laughing and mocking at how she can't cope with kids,saying she is jealous, etc. (About halfway down page 1.) Not a pleasant person at all, and is refusing to answer most questions, like.

WHY DOES SHE NOT CONTACT HER SIL? WHY DOES SHE HAVE TO CONTACT HER?

OP is coming across as precious, spiteful, and childish.

[WomblingThree]

Nope, not irony, just having a laugh. When someone makes a twat of themselves in public, people will laugh at them. Hence the enduring success of You've Been Framed and similar things.

[WorraLiberty]

Actually a quick AS (yes, I did one so shoot me), shows that the OP seems quite needy to towards her DH's family and it appears they can't do anything right anyway.

I'm going with my original feeling, that the OP's SIL just really doesn't like her much.

However, that should not mean the MIL should get dragged into the middle of it.

[Lemonnaise]

Do you and the SIL get on? Have you had things happen in the past that caused her to not speak to you?

It sounds as if you're in competition with her for MILs attention. It's not fair on your MIL.

Maybe she should have sent a text but she probably knows you're jealous of her and she can't be bothered with the aggro.

[IshipTomHardysohard]

I could kinda see your point, but then you put loads of 'hahaha'. Jesus you sound petty as fuck. Grow up

[Ellisandra]

Someone else already called it: Jezza.

My guess is that your child has a stupid made up unique spelling name (just a hunch) and your SIL hasn't perfected her straight face yet.

[Mulberry72]

You obviously don't like your SIL, so why are you arsed if she's been round or not?

Your child isn't the centre of everyone's universe, you know that don't you?

[Thinkingofausername1]

Perhaps she is giving you a bit of time to adjust and then is going to make a visit. Some people are not good with phones/Facebook and would rather see you. On the other hand people can just be a bit selfish and in their own issues these days

[corythatwas]

You are a mother now, OP, which means there is somebody else in your life whose needs trump yours.

You are there to keep your ds well and happy and facilitate his emotional and social wellbeing. This means giving him a decent chance to bond with his extended family, unless they are likely to do him harm.

Later on, it may well mean offering cups of coffee to his friends' mums though you can't stand them or smiling sweetly at a girlfriend who puts your teeth on edge. Because it's no longer about you.

[2015mom]

Well she is wrong and mother in law told her she was wrong and she ended up coming over today to say congratulations and apologised.